October 13th, 2011 at 2:00 PM ^

At heart, dudes like Mr. Smith wish they had the experiences I had watching Jason (brah!) work his magic with the ladies. No matter how many friends he has, or people say he’s “at the top of his profession,” or how many BMWs he has, or how happy his family is, or how quickly his daughter walks past me when she visits the office – he’s raging inside because he wasn’t a Spartan. Raging.


October 13th, 2011 at 2:20 PM ^

Also check out some of SN's comments below, which seem to have disappeared from the board but not from the Internet:

I'll give you this, HailToTheVictor...

...you've got balls.  Big, fat, juicy ones.  Dantonio-esque, even.  Only you (and fifteen or so others on this thread) have the nuttage to take me on.  All the other losers on this website are laughing, thinking I'm some sort of joke. 

(Which I'm not!  I'm as serious as George Perles at the Old Country Buffett on Grand River Avenue.  As serious as Coach Dantonio's engorged man-meat pointing at the heavens towards his celestial birthplace.  As serious as Cedric Everson walking through that door with one thing on his mind.  But I digress.) 

But you know better.  You understand how important these internet posts are.  How necessary it is to get the final word in over a fan of the opposition.  That you can't let some Spartan waltz onto a Wolverine website and say things like "Caulcrick is pretty good" or "Hart should shut up" or "maize looks suspiciously like yellow."  That a war of words over the internerd matters.  Alone (with fifteen or so others) amongst these cowards, you grab a hold of your cojones and say: this will not stand.  And I applaud you for it, br...

Whoa, that was close.  True: in another life, we might have been brahs.  If I close my eyes I can see it -- it's brah-tastic.  But as brah-some as it might have been, we're doomed to be enemies forever.  Like Cena and Batista, man.  Cena and Batista...why can't they see they're on the same side? [Sob.]

Anyways, I'm out.  Stay strong, HTTV.  Stay strong.


Philip A. Duey

October 13th, 2011 at 2:34 PM ^

Get a degree...in..a-ni-mal
Husbandry at MSU!

On the banks of the Red Cedar (where?)
There's a school that's known to all (who?)
Their specialty is farming
But those farmers can't play ball
Spartan teams are always beaten:
The 300 all died!
They don't have what it takes to
Read or Write

Go to school at MSU
Learn to count to ten
If you start and mess it up
Then you can try again: 1...3...crap!
We get smashed 'most every night
So we don't even care!
Holy cow, we're halfway there!

We provide cow manure to the meth labs you know (thbbppt)
Smoke weed, but we can't tell it's just oregano (thbbppt)
I've got some matches and vodka in my pouch
Let's go burn a couch!  WOOOO!

Go to school at MSU 
Learn to count to twenty
If you get waitlisted there
That's just so much more funny 1..5...crap!
We do not care anymore
Let's just go fornicate!
At least we're not Ohio State!
(at least we're not Ohio State)

EDIT: for musical accompaniment's sake only: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGITv47V2fA&feature=related

El Jeffe

October 13th, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^

I thought the quadruple Brah deployment was magic.

At heart, dudes like Mr. Smith wish they had the experiences I had watching Jason (brah!) work his magic with the ladies.

Brass instruments should only be used for fine background accompaniment while watching Jason (brah!) hook up with two drunk chicks at the same time (double brah!)

Second, numbers make me all confused, just like that time I saw Jason going into the ladies’ bathroom at the Land Shark with my girlfriend. (Brah?)


October 13th, 2011 at 9:50 PM ^

"We'll be coming at you like the 300 Spartans wiped out the Parisians a couple of hundred years ago!"

Parisians.  That's pure genius.