South Carolina Coach Frank Martin has Advice for Annoying Parents

Submitted by Occam's Razor on March 18th, 2018 at 1:23 PM

Embedded. Frank Martin is a good guy. 

Comments

SF Wolverine

March 18th, 2018 at 1:31 PM ^

Should be required annual viewing for every single parent with a kid doing any kind of youth sports. Or being taught something by any other adult. Excellent!

Robbie Moore

March 18th, 2018 at 3:04 PM ^

Frank Martin said it beautifully. I coached youth soccer for years. I would have a meeting with the parents before every season and the key message was this: It was my job to deal with the refs and they were not to say or yell anything about them And it was my job to run the team, which meant I would correct the players when necessary. Their job was to provide positive energy to their child and to the team. 

After a few seasons, and several confrontations with parents (in private and not in front of the team) everyone came to realize I meant it. And they became the best parents in the league.

Indy Pete - Go Blue

March 18th, 2018 at 1:33 PM ^

After the Michigan game on cbs, he shared how he was sick in the hospital with extremely high fevers many years ago, and he experienced a very unusual healing that sounded miraculous. That guy has a lot of charisma.

mGrowOld

March 18th, 2018 at 1:33 PM ^

As someone who coached youth football and basketball for over 15 years I can only say BRAVO!

I have a new second favorite basketball coach.

OwenGoBlue

March 18th, 2018 at 2:41 PM ^

He's loud as hell but from what I've seen it's always positive/motivational or specific/constructive. That's a coach players will love forever.

The coaches that yell like fans (based on outcomes not process, are personally critical) are the bad ones. A lot of guys grew up revering Bobby Knight and walked away with all the wrong lessons.

Mgoscottie

March 18th, 2018 at 1:48 PM ^

as a teacher there are a healthy mix of annoying parents with children that are obnoxious, but also many have children that are amazing and go on to do great things.  There's a lot of things that we think that aren't supported by evidence.  This book is a good reading on the subject.  

KC Wolve

March 18th, 2018 at 1:51 PM ^

Thanks for making me sad. I still barely watch or care about KSU basketball after watching John Currie and others run him off at KSU. I’m not a big hoops fan anyway, but he was such an awesome dude and I loved watching him coach.

MGoStretch

March 18th, 2018 at 2:09 PM ^

He absolutely nailed it about officiating.  Growing up, I ref'd soccer up through college and would do fairly high level games (big travel tournaments, mens league games as a 16yo, etc...) but also local rec leagues for the money and the opportunity to get outside and get some exercise.  It never ceased to amaze me how parents/coaches would think I gave a crap who won their game.  I mean, parents losing their GD minds over thinking I missed the ball touching a kid's arm in some under 12 travel team.  Or parents threatening me and my linesmen after the game on the way to the parking lot.  Tangentially related, reffing intramural basketball at Michigan was maybe the most thankless job of all. It was like $10/game and 97% of those dudes thought they were playing in the NBA finals.

umchicago

March 18th, 2018 at 3:38 PM ^

i reffed intamural games at UM too.  the freshmen games were the worst.  they constantly complained.  and i actually said to one dude during a game, hey if i called all the fouls i'm seeing there would be no one left on the court.

that said, the womens' games were the best.  for some reason, they almost never complained.

xtramelanin

March 18th, 2018 at 2:17 PM ^

never had a parent brace me, but candidly i'm big enough that most would have to think twice about getting too animated.  i do think it also makes a big difference where you coach/ref.  

Michigan Arrogance

March 18th, 2018 at 2:47 PM ^

I've been coaching 10 & 12U softball the past 2-3 years since my daughter started playing and thankfully I haven't seen a ton of parents being huge problems. if anytihng, it's been some poor coaching that i've seen. we're pretty far upstate in NY so there aren't a ton of parents with the time/knowledge to give some good coaching for the level of the kids i've seen.

if anything, it's been a few parent/coaches who are a little too intense relative to the ability of the kids.

bacon1431

March 18th, 2018 at 3:15 PM ^

A lot of good advice in there. When it’s as young as elementary school, just make sure the kids are having fun and don’t have a ton of pressure on them. Developing a passion for the game at that age will help them develop more down the road than trying to make sure they’re doing everything right.

For coaches in high school, I encourage parent participation in terms of getting to know you. At the beginning of the year I’d have a mandatory meeting regarding what they can expect from you, what your expectations are for the kids, your general philosophy on coaching and how they can contact you. I’d have “office hours” (like your professors had in undergrad) and tell them that if they want to talk in depth about anything, these are the times to do so and no other time. I work in education and have done over 200 home visits in my career (not 30 yet) and I can tell you that it helps a shit ton in building relationships with families and also getting to understand where a kid comes from. If parents don’t like how you run things, tell them to schedule a meeting during office hours and if they have complaints, to talk to the AD. I think parents should have an opportunity to voice their opinions and while most meetings probably won’t be worth the time, sometimes its just good to get them one on one and be able to explain yourself.

KO Stradivarius

March 18th, 2018 at 3:29 PM ^

My daughter was one of the worst players on her rec soccer team like at age 11. Other parents apparently voiced frustration about her, or so he told me when I asked him why he wasnt playing her. League rules say all must play equally, and she wanted to play.  I let it go on for a few games before I asked him. Didn't want to be one of "those" parents, but I wanted to know. Couldn't understand why he ignored rules based on other parents. She stopped playing soccer after that season. 

Perkis-Size Me

March 18th, 2018 at 4:04 PM ^

Strong words, coach. And I couldn’t agree more.

We wonder why a lot of kids these days grow up to be self-absorbed, entitled douchebags? Much of the time, look no further than their parents. Too often parents are trying to be their kid’s friend instead of their parent, wiping the drool away from their lips and telling them they’ll fix everything when they don’t get what they want. They want to be the cool parents.

I hear about it all too often from my wife, who’s a teacher. She’s got parents kicking down her door wondering why their child is failing her math class or why they didn’t get selected for the gifted program. It’s always someone else’s fault, or there’s no way their child is stupid enough to be failing math. Someone is out to get their child and is holding them back, because they can’t possibly do anything wrong.

Sometimes parents don’t even consider the possibility that their child is just lazy. Or not as good as the other kids.