Seriously, how does Michigan win Saturday?

Submitted by Dr. Explosion on October 23rd, 2014 at 11:07 AM

Seriously, assuming forfeit is not a legitimate option, if you are head coach, what is your game plan for Saturday?



October 23rd, 2014 at 12:10 PM ^

Not necessarily an irrefutable confirmation as I am not familiar with the website it came from, but something to enjoy: Top 25 Maddenisms

25. “There’s a lot of letters in Ladanian Tomlinson”

24. “See, well ya see, the thing is, he should have caught that ball. But the ball is bigger than his hands.”

23. “To get more yards, it’s best to move the ball from the line of scrimmage down the field.”

22. “Boom, boom, foom, poom! He just ran right at ‘em!”

21. “A team should never practice on a field that is not lined. Your players have to become aware of the field’s boundaries.”

20. “If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I’d say that’s a double loss.”

19. “When you have great players, playing great, well that’s great football!”

18. “It’s 3rd and 20..They need a good play here.”

17. “Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.”

16. “Whenever you talk about a Mike Shanahan offense, you’re always going to be talking about his offense.”

15. “In order for this team to win the game, the quarterback has to throw the ball.”

14. “When your arm gets hit, the ball is not going to go where you want it to.”

13. “The defense should be expecting a run or a pass here.”

12. “When its raining the field gets wet, then all of a sudden everyones running slower”

11. “The Dallas Cowboys have 2 types of plays in their playbook. Passing plays, and running plays.”

10. “Mark Brunell usually likes to soak his balls before a rainy game.”

9. “Here’s a guy, here’s a guy who when he puts his contacts in, he can see better”

8. “The best feeling is watching a real football game, because the games they show in the movies aren’t real.”

7. “There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.”

6. “He would have scored a touchdown if he hadn’t been tackled right there.”

5. “Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”

4. “Some yards is better than none yards?”

3. “Usually the team that scores the most points wins the game.”

2. “If this team doesn’t put points on the board I don’t see how they can win.”

1. “If the quarterback throws the ball in the endzone and the wide receiver catches it, it’s a touchdown."

Edit: I dont know how to compress quotes to show up in that yellow box... sorry for the length of the post

Arizona Blue

October 23rd, 2014 at 11:11 AM ^

Honestly, we win if our defense plays lights out and we win the turnover battle by +2-3. We are not going to score more than 21 points. Not gonna happen. We will need a melt down by sparty to pull it out.


October 23rd, 2014 at 12:17 PM ^

MSU have up 14 to EMU and Wyoming. Purdue scored 31. Maybe State tris a little harder to shut us out or whatever but that defense gives up plays. It's all on Devin.

Cooks efficiency against not Jacksonville state, EMU, and Wyoming is also not that spectacular.

Our guys have a non zero chance.


October 23rd, 2014 at 12:50 PM ^

This is the correct answer. I'm not sure why the OP got hammered though. I know we're all self-depricating as a defense mechanism right now, but some people still like to be the fans that (even if it is delusional) dream of their team winning, even when the odds are against them. Don't you guys watch movies!?


October 23rd, 2014 at 11:12 AM ^

The running game needs to work early to open up some shots down field for Funchess.

If we're in a position where we have to throw, game over.  Devin will run for his life the entire game and get killed.


October 23rd, 2014 at 11:18 AM ^

Also, Michigan can win because any team can beat any other team on a given day, and MSU has looked more vulnterable recently than in years past.  UM's defense is good enough to keep the game close (they did last year), and if the offense can be competent who knows.  It isn't likely, but MSU pulled off upsets under similar situations in the past.

turd ferguson

October 23rd, 2014 at 11:18 AM ^

I see two paths to winning on Saturday.

The first involves creativity on offense, Gardner's accuracy being on, Gardner staying in the game, stretching MSU's defense to deal with Funchess downfield, holding our own with turnovers and special teams, and crossing our fingers that bad Connor Cook shows up.

The second involves firing DB on Saturday.  That's probably easier.