Secret BCS meeting

Submitted by Ryano on December 2nd, 2013 at 12:44 PM

This morning, there was a secret meeting of the various conference commissioners aboard the Death (to the BCS) Star, and the following was overheard:

Swofford (ACC) - Until someone defeats Ohio State, the National Championship game is vulnerable.  OSU is too well equipped, they are more dangerous than you realize.
Slive (SEC) - Dangerous to your conference, Swofford, not to the SEC.
Swofford - OSU will continue to gain support to play for the FBS Championship, and ...
Scott (PAC12) - The FBS will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the NCAA has disolved it permanently. The last remnants of the BCS have been swept away.
Swofford - That's impossible.  How will the NCAA maintain control, without bowl game payouts?
Scott - A 64 team playoff system will now decide the champion. Fear will keep the conferences in line, fear of going back to the Associated Press.
Swofford - And what of Ohio State? If they defeat Michigan State this weekend, it is possible, however unlikely, that they might end up in the Championship game, and be exploited. Again. For a third time.
Delaney (Big10) - Ohio State will soon be back in their place. Michigan State is a top-10 team.
Slive - Any attempt to make it to the Championship would be a useless gesture, no matter how many games they win in a row.  The SEC is now the ultimate power in the universe, I suggest y'all get used to it.
Delaney - Don't be too proud of the lawless terrors you are coaching. The ability to win bowl games is insignificant, next to the Legends of the Big 10.
Slive - Don't try to frighten us with your nostalgic ways, Delaney. Your sad devotion to that
ancient conference has not helped you conjure up any National Championships since Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake broke up.  Or given you clairvoyance enough to ...
(Delaney begins to pack up his large mountain of cash and walks towards the door, all the other conferences gasp)
Delaney - I find your lack of faith disturbing



December 2nd, 2013 at 12:55 PM ^

Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.  The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"


December 2nd, 2013 at 1:09 PM ^

Very well done! I wonder if BCS Executive Director Bill Hancock would have been a good Tarkin. 

"Enough of this! Delany, put down the money!"

...or later on...

"Would you prefer another conference, a non-AQ conference? Then name the team!"

"Boise State. I want Boise State."

"There, you see, Mr. Delaney, he can be reasonable...continue with the selection process, you may announce when ready."


December 2nd, 2013 at 9:28 PM ^

Can someone make a YouTube video of this pasting in the faces as needed over the New Hope footage? This is just too brilliant to not try.

I lack the skill.


December 2nd, 2013 at 11:10 PM ^

Sparty will take OSU to OT! Sparty blows it in OT. Auburn blows out MO and jumps OSU for the number 2 spote. Ohio is left out of the championship game. LOL!