Reports from the Front
COLUMBUS - Here we are in Columbus in front of a crowd of 10,000 alumni and 75,000 trucker drivers' children, panic in the streets.
In the week leading up to the legendary Michigan-ohio state bout, students at the poisonous-nut academy take to the streets in a drunken fit to jump in the maybe-once-was-majestic mirror lake. In a tradition dating back long before most participants were born (circa 1990), students take the plunge in the frigid lake to douse themselves water, manliness, and duck feces.
The lake itself is a man-made pond that was last known to be clean out by this writer 2 years ago. In the summer it is dark and murky, quite a feet for being approximately 4 ft deep.
While the exact beginnings of the tradition are shrouded in mystery; some believe it started in the twenties, while others report that a mere 4 years ago yielded 100 jumpers, maybe less.
While the origins may remain a mystery, one thing is for certain: it makes so much sense.
"Well, Michigan is our rival, so what better way to show them we will beat them than to jump into this [disgusting] lake" says gym major Jim Kapuna. For others, however, it is not all fun and games. "I came out with a flesh eating bacteria" says one frosh, while I report "some student was puking in the alley at 8:30."
If nothing else, this tradition shows how this campus comes together for a common enemy. "Its too cold to jump" says one Silly Putty major, a sure sign of confidence.
While the campus stands together in solitude against the Wolverines, this writer sits in his room, drinking his High Life and listening to the drunken chants of "We don't damn give the Michigan" room, wondering why I am here.
From TJDN News, I am
Deep Under Cover
November 24th, 2010 at 12:06 AM ^
with Ohio State. Can't wait to see the pictures of those idiots freezing their asses off in the Lantern tomorrow.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:06 AM ^
...than me.
November 24th, 2010 at 1:24 AM ^
I didn't know you could post without using blockquotes
please advice
November 24th, 2010 at 9:33 AM ^
...this before.
I'm obligated to always use ellipses at the end of my subject line and the start of my comment. Blockquotes are optional.
Are you able to post anything without the "please advice" shtick? Got anything new?
BTW, here's this year's Mirror Lake spectacle for your viewing displeasure.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:06 PM ^
that looks fun.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:43 PM ^
It kinda looked like a giant sausage fest if you ask me.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:07 AM ^
You and me both. My roommates just left to jump
November 24th, 2010 at 12:09 AM ^
That's how I found time to write that haha
November 24th, 2010 at 12:59 AM ^
You two go to OSU? And yet you're Michigan fans? How's that work?
November 24th, 2010 at 2:31 AM ^
Must have some kind of dual Valedictorian system.
November 24th, 2010 at 6:56 PM ^
I usually only wear my jersey inside my house, but after the OSU-PSU game I went to Little Bar with it on and Courtney Avery's brother came up to me and we talked awhile. I was also approached by a number of other "under cover agents" around campus that night.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:08 AM ^
Only a school with people that dumb would go into a pond that is 40 degrees.
That is like saying, "Hey! Lets all get diptheria!"
November 24th, 2010 at 2:24 AM ^
Pretty sure cold water isn't how you get diphtheria. Maybe hypothermia, though.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:09 AM ^
sounds like something spartans would do
November 24th, 2010 at 4:29 AM ^
The University of Ohio State students should have stopped swimming in urine a while ago. This is one type of tolerance that doesn't get you much respect.
November 24th, 2010 at 9:45 AM ^
November 24th, 2010 at 12:34 AM ^
God how I hate Ohio State. Those stupid fucks.
November 27th, 2010 at 2:22 PM ^
They ARE super gay. +1
November 24th, 2010 at 12:35 AM ^
I love how OSU students celebrates their pride in their school by covering themselves in piss and shit.
November 24th, 2010 at 1:02 AM ^
Haha and it's damn fun.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:45 AM ^
...says it all.
What a nasty fucking cesspool. I wouldn't dip someone else's foot into it, much less my own.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:45 AM ^
I just checked the pH level of Mirror Lake and found a whole lot of pee, not too much H.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:51 AM ^
It makes me want to go up there and drop a deuce in it.
November 24th, 2010 at 1:03 AM ^
I love how much more meaningful the grave walk is then their tradition. Go Blue! Beat the buckeyes!!!
November 24th, 2010 at 5:09 AM ^
I am embarrassed by the lack of enthusiasm shown by the Michigan fan base during this week, in particular the students. I've been spending the last two days, and will spend the next three days watching the Woodson-Boston fight, Woodson and Desmond returns and anything related to Michigan-OSU. I wake up wanting to stand at the diag for the entire day and scream GO...but I know I'd be lucky to receive ten blues back, and half-hearted at best.
My biggest fear is that the players, especially those who didn't grow up witnessing the rivalry, don't realize how important it really is. And, as students, we're not doing enough (or anything for that matter) to show the team, the team, the team how bad we want (need) a win.
We need to get over this "we're superior" attitude - as seen through RR's comments about his expectations coming to Michigan and The Horror - and realize that only through strong support and hard work will we rise again. The 2006 OSU game was arguably the beginning of our bad spell. Let's make the 2010 Game the beginning of our ascension to the top of college football. Support our team, show them we care, and let them know that with a win they can go down in history like the 50 and 69 team's.
And one last thing. Students: Probably preaching to the wrong crowd, but stop selling your tickets to away fans. Nothing pisses me off more than seeing hundreds of Wisco kids in our student section. I went to PSU this year and saw ONE maize shirt in their sea of white (bless his/her/probably his soul).
K, rant over. thanks. Go Blue.
November 24th, 2010 at 6:30 AM ^
It was probably the PSU student who dressed as a UM fan for Halloween and got his ass beat for doing so.
November 24th, 2010 at 11:22 AM ^
Is that some sort of joke or did that actually happen? And if it's real, how could that seem like a good idea for a costume?
November 24th, 2010 at 2:18 PM ^
Yeah it happened. Why he did it? He not so smart.
http://www.centredaily.com/2010/10/31/2307268/police-penn-state-fan-wearing.html
November 24th, 2010 at 6:56 AM ^
My favorite part:
"says gym major Jim Kapuna." Nice work.
November 24th, 2010 at 8:58 AM ^
A majoy of 'Silly Putty' is designed for the average OSU enrollee.
That, and 'flash mob dancing'. Damn you Ford.
November 24th, 2010 at 12:23 PM ^
Ohio High Schools banned the use of the term valedictorians as it has too many letters.
In high schools across Ohio, school principals carry diplomas in a roll on the last day of class. He or she tears off a square and hand it to a kid whenever one of them walks by.
November 24th, 2010 at 9:27 AM ^
Makes sense, pee in a lake, poop in a cooler.