Remembering Festivus--Any Miracles to Share?

Submitted by Zone Left on December 23rd, 2011 at 6:25 PM


Miracle 1:

Sleazy Guy: "Hello again, Miss Benes."
Elaine Benes: "What are you doing here?"
Sleazy Guy: "Damnedest thing. Me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and, uh, we got this bagel place."
Cosmo Kramer: "I told them I was just about to see you. It's a Festivus Miracle!"

Miracle 2:

Gwen: "Jerry!"
Jerry Seinfeld: "Gwen! How did you know I was here?"
Gwen: "Kramer told me!"
Cosmo Kramer: "Another Festivus Miracle!"
Jerry Seinfeld: (gives Kramer a murderous glare)



December 23rd, 2011 at 6:30 PM ^

It is a miracle I did not kill anyone trying to do last minute shopping today. We need to start doing a better job of  birth control with some of the idiots roaming this planet. 


December 23rd, 2011 at 7:34 PM ^

It is a miracle that I managed to get 33 kindergartners to successfully decorate sugar cookies without any major frosting or sprinkle catastrophes.  My wife actually got to me volunteer at the school - that's the real miracle. 

In any event, I had to run to Meijer quickly this morning and they were out of Christmas cookie sprinkles, and in my panic, I somehow wandered into the spice aisle, where there were sprinkles nestled between the cilantro and cumin. Indeed, a Festivus miracle. 


December 23rd, 2011 at 7:19 PM ^

The newspaper rack at the grocery store was empty of the kind of paper I wanted to buy. So I looked around my surroundings and found one on the customer service desk. It cost $1.


December 23rd, 2011 at 7:35 PM ^

My Festivus Miracle: Old high school friend is having about 20 of the old gang over for a Holiday party/ game night so I'm skipping my work Christmas party with a real excuse this time.

Note: most of the RSVPs were for my high school friends party were from girls.

Another Festivus Miracle!


December 23rd, 2011 at 10:27 PM ^

my family had to put down my 9 year old golden 4 years ago because of cancer, i was 12 and I think that might have been one of the saddest moments of my life seeing her get in the van to  go to the vet. But you have to keep strong and move on to a new dog. Thats what I did and I have a 4 year old golden boy right now who is my best friend. But my old dog will never lose a place in my heart, she will always be my first dog. Never lose that special place in your heart for your dog