A Public Service Announcement For Trolls On MGoBlog

Submitted by UMAero90 on September 16th, 2009 at 11:05 AM
(Contributor's Note: Readers from Wyoming might not find this diary entry interesting. Recommend that they move onto other threads.)

These past few days have been one beautiful Roman Holiday for me as I troll the other fan sites. I personally loved this exchange between "is it Saturday yet?" and "Matt" on 11W:

is it Saturday yet?:

I think we are all tired of losing the big games and there is only one cure for any of this, and that is win.

Matt:

Wait–the cure for losing games is winning them? Well SHIT, why didn’t you just say so?!?!?!?

is it Saturday yet?:

Am I just being a deaf, dumb, and blind homer?

If that doesn't sound like wheels coming off the wagon, I don't know what does. (My answer for IISY? -- "Yes, but I don't mean that in a bad way."). I haven't had this much fun since I learned to fart "Hang on Sloopy" after a bean-and-scrambled egg burrito eating contest a few years back. Had to do it over a scarlet-and-gray cooler, though, just in case I pushed a little too hard on those last "notes". Did that for a group of OSU grads who thought I was paying them the ultimate complement.

I've noted that the number of UM fan posts on opposing team sites have been increasing. Therefore, its only a matter of time before "tit" becomes "tat", and we've got a war of words on our hands. I figured I'd just get the issue out there sooner rather later and maybe nip this in the bud.

Non-UM trolls, we read your caca as much as you read ours (although I'll say that ours smells like roses). I take particularly fiendish delight when one of you posts something here to rile us up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Better still when one of you joins this site just to post. Maybe you're hoping some of the aura that surrounds our beloved University, (queue the sweeping, majestic orchestral music bed). We have a big tent, so welcome.

A bit of guidance about posting there, though. Nothing too big a deal, mind you, but I just sayin', seeing as how I've learned a few valuable lessons in just the past few days that I thought I'd pass along. Some of our membership gets easily bored, and even a little touchy. Here are the generally accepted best practices for the site:
  • Whatever you decide to write, keep it interesting.
  • Make sure that any contributions you provide are clearly marked with their purpose, relationship to U-M Athletics.
  • Topics should be carefully delineated from others on the site.
  • Please be respectful of others; disagreement is okay, being disagreeable is not.
  • All posts must include the familiar "Go Blue", "Yours for Michigan", or similar expression of affection for our University and its athletic programs, (pause for the background music to crescendo).
Bear in mind some of our members, unfortunately, tend to the pejorative and use profanity when they respond to a post. If you violate these rules in any way, they may get on a rant and start to cuss. This is a family site and we don't want that. And, for cris'sake, don't respond to them directly. It just makes matters worse.

GO BLUE!

Comments

CPS

September 16th, 2009 at 11:37 AM ^

This reader from Illinois also does not find this diary entry interesting. Or funny. Or diary material. In fact, I see little justification for this diary entry at all. Trolls are going to occasionally come by, and they don't give a shit what you have to say.

Besides, these are the only guidelines I follow.

MGoTarHeel

September 16th, 2009 at 11:48 AM ^

Virginia readers are not finding amusement in this diary either. In fact I found it quite sad to see that this even had to be made or that a portion of the MGoBlog community trolls other sites. Maybe it's just the high I get from smelling my own farts, but I thought we were better than that.

As far as rules go, I think the best rule of thumb would be to ask what Brian would do. Would Brian troll other sites "just trying to rile someone up"? I like to think not and maintain my image of Brian as the flowing-haired Jebus who will one day save me from drowning in a community pool.

Wolverine 98284

September 16th, 2009 at 12:10 PM ^

"I haven't had this much fun since I learned to fart "Hang on Sloopy" after a bean-and-scrambled egg burrito eating contest a few years back. Had to do it over a scarlet-and-gray cooler, though, just in case I pushed a little too hard on those last "notes". Did that for a group of OSU grads who thought I was paying them the ultimate complement."

I started laughing and read this to my wife. SHE fell off the sofa! When she finally stopped she said, "OK, so maybe you aren't the wierdest man on the planet."

Thanks for the laugh!

rlew

September 16th, 2009 at 12:12 PM ^

That doesn't really sound like the wheels coming off. I couldn't make much sense of it whatsoever. Good fart joke, though.

I'm in Georgia...and a member of the public...and didn't find this interesting.

biakabutuka ex…

September 16th, 2009 at 12:21 PM ^

If/when we start getting them on this site:
0. Make absolutely sure they aren't being sarcastic or flippant.
1. Don't respond.
2. If you must respond, do it in the third person, not the second person. E.g. "don't listen to sweaterpants. he's just a troll."
3. If you must respond in the second person, prepare to waste minutes to hours of your life making sure he/she doesn't get the last word. Especially if one of you uses the profanity card.

Alternative:
1. Just say "cool story, bro."

COB

September 16th, 2009 at 1:19 PM ^

Wait, wait...an OSU guy posted something stupid on the web?!? Dude, the wheels ARE coming off in Columbus, that shit just does NOT happen unless all hell has officially broken loose.

As an OSU guy, I can personally attest to the fact that no single stupid thing has ever been posted in defense or criticism of the Buckeyes. Never. Not one. Most of all by the web cruising fans, NEVARRRRRR.

DesHow21

September 16th, 2009 at 1:31 PM ^

understanding how having you here is any better than the supposed trolls you are trying to advice.

I have found posts made by rival fans to be FAR more informative and interesting than the gibberish you just put up.