Perfect First Weekend for Michigan Football

Submitted by ThadMattasagoblin on June 15th, 2014 at 11:05 PM

The season starts out with Appalachain State. Leading up to the game, ESPN decides to add 6 hours of college gameday to talk about The Horror. After Big and Rich get done singing, cameras zoom in to the set with Corso, Fowler, Desmond, and Herbstreit all holding beers.. After a few minutes of Chris Fowler talking, Herby abruptly takes his shirt off, swirls it in the air, and flips off the camera. Following the episode, ESPN announced that it has fired Kirk Herbstreit and is hiring Denard to replace him. Kickoff brings more good fortune as Jabrill Peppers returns the opening kickoff hurdling all 11 ASU players enroute to the endzone. Following that touchdown, App State fumbles the next 5 kickoffs for TDs which makes the score 42-0. Gardner then throws a couple 80 yard passing TDs and has a couple of 80 yard rushing TDs to make the score 91-0 at halftime. The Mountaineers decide to forfeit the game at halftime citing player safety. Following the game, Ohio State is found to be sponsoring the underground drug cartels in Colombia and the school is shut down by the federal government.

Comments

BeileinBuddy

June 15th, 2014 at 11:16 PM ^

The Friday leading up to the game, we wrangle up all the ESPN producers and video guys and flash them with the Men in Black memory eraser thing so there's no mention of The Horror whatsoever

clarkiefromcanada

June 15th, 2014 at 11:27 PM ^

I was going to post about the first week against Appy State then I got high

I was going to discuss Jabrill Peppers then I got high

Now I'm posting random and I know why, hey hey

Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high

Not Just A Shooter

June 15th, 2014 at 11:54 PM ^

"ESPN decides to add 6 hours of college gameday to talk about The Horror"

AND

"hiring Denard to replace him" (I'd prefer him making a name for himself in the NFL first)

...are not part of a perfect weekend.

 

LSAClassOf2000

June 16th, 2014 at 6:35 AM ^

This one may come down yet - no, it likely will eventually - but I am rather interested in how long it will be before the OP comes back to tell us if Guatemalan Insanity Peppers were in the chili that he was eating and whether or not at any point this story involves wandering naked across a golf course. Also, did anyone in the dream sound like Johnny Cash?