Parents vs. non-parents: a poll on attitudes towards the game on Saturday

In situations where I can't control the outcome, I've learned not to tie my personal self worth to any result.  I wish Michigan would have won, but it was obvious they played their hearts out.  How can you not be satisfied with 100% irrespective of whether you have kids or not?  FWIW, I don't have kids.

Parent.

My daughter plays comptetitive sports at a high level and its admittedly taken me a few years to learn how to take losses (and sometimes wins) with grace and dignity.  It's easier as I get older.  I hated this loss because of the opponent and the way they, in turn, handle wins and losses.

Ohio fans - the bad apples, anyway - give me all the perspective I need.

I mostly logged in to upvote this thread - great topic! - but figured I'd contribute.

I've always been a "losses are the worst" kind of person and that hasn't changed as a parent yet because my kids are still too young to really compete in sports.  That said, this season turned me around completely and I found myself really excited about the result.  I entered knowing there was almost zero chance they win so to see them push OSU to the end and have such guts to go for the win was tremendous.  IMO, it saved the season.

 

I find most alums of B1G schools have things in reasonable perspective about rivalries and appreciate good team effort regardless of the outcome. When you listen to sports talk radio, or shock sports "journalists" they try to stir the pot NOT with this group, but rather the Walmart fans whose lives seem validated by W's and L's... don't get me wrong the loss was a bitch, but life goes on, and I'll be optimistic and supportive of the kids come August... Also, I totally rationalized the loss  that we were probably going to same bowl game regardless,lol... btw I referee soccer and ignorant "fan behavior" has totally  wanted me to distance myself from those whose life outlook is primarily determined by sports outcomes achieved by others.

I do not think my reaction was anything more than surprise.  I was surprised we kept it close. This came after a season of complete and utter frustration watching this team week in week out.  I think if we were 11-0 or 10-1 and they decided to do this and lost, I think I would be on the side of being very upset.  I guess I have become what this year as been, numb.

Parent. I was happy the game was competitive, and I honestly think it went about as well as it could have gone. I think we got f'd on some critical calls by the refs, and I guess that plus the final score makes me satisfied with how it turned out. Plus the rich rod years have made me less critical of teams where effort is there, but execution isn't there yet. There were so many young guys on the field too, good experience. I would have rather they won, but the disappointment for not winning is only possible because they played well enough to have that chance in the end. I don't think this attitude is related to having kids.

Single 24 year old male here (ladies...). I thought the game was a good one for Michigan and while I'm bummed that we lost, we played very well against a really good (if somewhat overrated) team. Most of the malcontents here don't care for context. They think Michigan should be favored to win every game, every year, and have all of the national championships. But NO ONE expected Michigan to even make a game of it, much less win and the fact that Michigan played well and almost did win should count for something. Cue the naysayers...

Great game

Great heartache

Great terrible loss

/doge meme?

and I was fine with the game they played. The players made critical plays when it counted and Hoke was not hesitant in his decision to go for the win. 100% the correct call. I only wish that they would have used the timeout they had left after OSU used theirs. Taking out timeout would have ensured that everyone was on the same page and that the right play call was in.

As bad/young as this team was they had effort and fight in every game they played. When things went bad they kept going and trying to find a way. As a parent, I want my children to have to deal with adversity and overcome trials and tribulations so they are prepared for life. That's why I appreciate the effort of the team although I am disappoints in many of the outcomes of games this season.

I don't thin that any of us (fans) truly know the rebuilding effort that this staff is going through. The Rich Rod years were the abyss and set us back by 3-4 years. Denard Robinson excluded.

Go Blue.

and also a coach for young kids (basketball, and formerly soccer).  I thought the game was great fun, loved the effort, and hated the score -- but knew it resulted more or less from a cosmic coin-flipof sorts.  On one hand, the conversion attempt is replaying over and over in mind like a GIF (I keep trying to get Gardner to steal a glance over his left shoulder, then tuck it and run, but it just won't happen).  On the other, I feel much better about the team than I did a week ago.

Parent here of 3 college-aged children (one an undergrad, two in grad school--all those old farts that keep telling you "they grow up so fast" are right, even when you're in the midst of changing diapers and can't see it that way). I'm not going into a funk or depressed over the loss.  I'm glad the team fought hard and had a chance to win at the end.  Would I have preferred a win?  Sure.  I don't think it's so much my parenthood that gives me this perspective as my age, though (although I will admit that being a parent forces most people to grow up more quickly than they otherwise would).

My 10-year-old son took this loss much harder than I did. It was his first OSU game in person and he bawled afterward. He'd only seen one loss in person before (App State) and he cried there too.

My biggest "beef" with the anti-"good loss" crowd regarding this game is that many are the same people who are just pessimistic in general. They are the ones who assumed we'd get our asses handed to us by "big bad OSU" and when we didn't, and came within one play of winning, aren't happy in any way.

I'm not happy with a loss, and it's rather excruciating to see some of the containment issues and coverage snafus that led to many of the Buckeye points Saturday, but man did I love my Michigan team this weekend. That was Michigan football, even if we came up a point short. That is a game worthy of this rivalry.

Like a diarist said this weekend, the 2013 season might be pretty similar to 2005...where a few close losses and close wins set up a team that isn't losing that many seniors to great things in 2014...even with a tough schedule on the road.

Unhappy with the loss.  Very unhappy with the end of the first half (give a score - take a knee.)

Happy with the team in this game.   Unhappy with the coaching as a whole.

This was a terrible heart breaking loss, but I've got to clean the basement before I can re-watch any of it and sort out my feelings... that is the way it is.

I think being a parent may have something to do with how you viewed Saturday's outcome.  But I think a bigger determinant is probably age.  At least in my case, I used to be a REAL intense fan when in my 20's and would storm out of the house sometimes when Michigan lost, or throw various items at the wall, or be angry about it for days afterward.  But, I think as you accumulate life experiences that give you perspective (e.g. death of a family member or parent or severe illness) it becomes much easier to deal with game losses.  This doesn't mean I take being a fan in a laid-back manner at all.  I was in the stadium cheering and yelling harder than any game I can remember.  I hated losing the game.  The difference is I don't get nearly as angry and focus on the positives much more (like Devin Gardner's performance and our offensive success piling up over 600 yards for example).

I'm a parent (of a 20 year old and 12 year old twins.) The twins in particular are in a number of competitive sports (football, basketball, baseball, soccer, wrestling.) I did indeed think it was a great game. Of course I wanted to win, but I'm not heart-broken at the loss. However, I think you can't clearly tie being a parent to your view on the game.

• How much of a "fan" you are has to play in (how invested are you? Do you have season tickets? How much do you follow football?)
• Age.
• Number of children.
• Whether children were involved in sports.
• Whether you were involved in sports.
• Your "personality type."

Somehow, I think that the loss bothers certain personalities more than in bothers others. I think Brown Bear was onto something a couple days ago in talking about perspective. Some people have a lot more balanced perspective on life and what's important than others. I am completely happy with being considered a terrible fan by some, because I am happy with doing things the right way, and winning the right way, and winning not be the most important thing. You play your best, you strive to win, you seek to be excellent. But when you give it your all, and you fall short, as happened to Michigan, you're saddened, but you're not crushed and broken. You leave the field proud, with some tears, and look forward to another day.

Perhaps because (I assume) you are a woman. I am not looking for controversy here, because for Mrs. Lampjaw the OSU loss was UNACCEPTABLE, nor would she attend because of the type of season we experienced. I went, and enjoyed it almost as much as UTL's 1 and 2. Likewise my daughter in her sports participation is competitive far beyond what I have ever been. Don't even get me started on swimming mama-bears I have known. Still and all, I suspect that women may have better balance in weighing between winning and other *more important* factors.

the loss hurts a little but it was a great game. That enjoyment takes a lot of the sting away.

and the reason why any loss to OSU is unnexceptable to me, is because I live and work in Central Ohio (life was so much easier in the 90's *sigh*). As for other games, if it was a good game I can admit it, even a loss, but never against OSU....

Childfree and I was alright with the loss.

I think it has more to do with age/experience than kids/no kids however. I don't have kids now and obviously didn't have kids 15-20 years ago but back then I would have taken the loss much harder than I do today.

I'm not a parent, and I'm not that bummed out by the loss. Thing is, I'm not sure why.

On the one hand, we were all half-expecting a blowout, yet there Michigan was with a chance to win the game in the final minute. And the offense came out of its shell for the first time since the Indiana game, unlike last year when it totally disappeared in the second half down in Columbus. So there was a lot to be positive about despite the loss.

But the more I think about it, the more I believe that the real answer is this: OSU has beaten us 11 of the last 13 years. I'm in my mid-20s, meaning that OSU has owned Michigan for half of my time on this earth, including my entire teens and all of my adult life so far. Losing to OSU is, sadly, normal. And this game being competitive was so much of an improvement over recent years that merely being competitive is its own form of victory. And that's incredibly sad.

I'm to the point where losing to OSU is the default outcome. So why would I get terribly upset about losing yet again?

I am a parent of three who played sports.  Two are no longer children.  One still does play sports with the Special Olympics.

 

I think it was a terrible game because of the loss.

 

Thanks.

There are some great comments on here...agree with SRKrass. Many things factor into the question for me as my kids are 20 & 23, both played HS sports, one is a student at UM, the oldest an alum.  We share the highs and lows of UM sports as a family with great passion, but tend to keep life in perspective. By the time Monday hits, its back to work, and back to the books. As I've gotten older, it has become easier to realize these are 18-22 year old young people cracking pads on Saturday...and I should tone down my criticism a bit.

For them, the wins and losses don't matter to me.  I think for their self esteem, they shouldn't have to be on a total loser team that never wins a game.  That can be detrimental to their enjoyment of the sport.  There is a "type" of parent that takes "winning" to the extreme, but that is another topic for discussion. 

For the boys, sports to me is about learning skills, working hard, putting in the time to improve, being part of a team and a good teammate, learning to dedicate yourself to something (other than video games) that will teach you life lessons.

But for the Michigan football team, that has another set of rules for me.  They are young men and a well paid coaching staff who dedicate a lot of time and effort into their craft.  They have been chosen to play football at Michigan because they are the elite talent at a sport they picked to excel at.  While I enjoy the Michigan man mantra and take pride that we are not a pay it forward type program like Ohio and the SEC, it still comes down to wins / loses for me in the end. 

When I have to listen to my meathead Sparty co-workers make comments like, "I guess Michigan is happy just to have kept it close against Ohio".  The Ohio performance gives me some hope for the future, but also miffs me to no end why these basic changes, were not done 2 months ago.  It is getting old as a Michigan fan/alum to have to go, "Oh, well, there is always next year, to try and win a B10 title."  This B10 title drought makes one of the backbones that Bo brought to Michigan, "Those who stay, will be champions", a joke after a while.  There is nothing that should be keeping Michigan from winning a B10 title once every 4 years.  It just shows how unlucky and mis-managed our program has been for the last 10+ years.  That is what makes it just about wins / loses for me at this point of the program.  Maybe when we get over the hump, my view may change.  But until that day comes, no moral victories for me when it comes to Michigan Football. 

I really enjoyed reading many of the comments in this thread.  Very interesting.  My youngest is 8 and has been hyper-competetive since birth.  After witnessing Nebraska and watching Iowa, he had kind of checked out of the season.

We had an opportunity to watch pregame from the field this week and then watch the heart and soul the team put into this game.  By the end of warmups, my son was totally engaged again and then rode the roller-coaster with the team.

Our family has now had two exceptional personal experiences despite losing efforts.  Watching this team perform this way (as major underdogs) is a lesson I don't think my children will ever forget.  All 3 are students first but also very athletic.  The sophomore is a swimmer, the 7th grader a figure skater, and my son is a soccer player.  They took something from that game I could have never explained to them.

We also were able to go to the Outback Bowl last year and were exiting near the spot where the players walked from the locker room to the busses after the loss.  The way they carried themselves with grace and dignity despite a tough loss was truly impressive to me.  I really believe there's a lot to learn from losing.

I'm not saying that a win wouldn't have been better.  But this was the least bad loss of any I can remember.  And I think the way the players are handling themselves in victory AND defeat is a testament to the very positive things about Brady Hoke.

Funny you should post this.  I had a similar thought today when reading the SHOEZZ thread.  I am of the opinion that those who are most vocally disgusted with The Game/season/Coaching Staff are younger fans who don't have kids....and also liked our shoezz.

I'm a parent or 2 - (son turns 20 today!  Yikes).  The game was entertaining, but not satisfying in the least.  We lost to Ohio State....again.  This sucks in the worst possible way.

We've seen championship seasons and ... not so much. When they are younger, it's all about the game. It's all about the treats when they are really young. That said, there were some close games that were fun and a few that really hurt. We had one 8U baseball game this fall where we had the game won on the final play only to have our winning run stop on the way home, head back to third, back to home, and get tagged out at the plate. I had a hard time sleeping that night.

I also remember some of the wrestling matches my kids lost against very good competition. Knowing you are going to get pinned early in the match only to find out you take the other teams captain to the end, falling short 9-8, actually felt pretty good.

I kept expecting to have more perspective after the losses.  But maybe not as much as I expected. Sure, the only laugh I had Saturday night was when my daughter gurgled something to her mom and me.  And maybe the bounce back time IS shorter. This last game maybe not so much because I'm not mad....the mad ones might dissipate more quickly.  This one just left me sad. For the team. For the coaches. For the program. Missed opportunity. 

Great game. Relieved we didn't get crushed, but then disappointed to be so close.  I hate the Buckeyes.

I have always been more forgiving of coaches, even before having kids.  One reason is that I've seen great coaches that have built up programs into powerhouses, and then ethical problems have brought them down.  (USC for one more recent example).  I have always wanted a clean program for Michigan over a flashy coach, and over dynasty status.  Also, I am more concerned about ripping the rug out just when things seem like they're going to be really good.  I felt like RichRod got a crappy deal because he made such broad sweeping changes, and the fan base was just too impatient.  It wouldn't be "Michigan" Football...but he was the guy we hired, so I felt more patient.  I'm totally on board with Hoke.  I'm not hyper critical of the coaches yet--although I am getting there, since the offense was declining and it seemed like the morale seemed like a mess.  However, because they came out and played so solid, and showed clear improvement, I was more happy with the overall performance, and that outweighs the loss IMO.  I (like most non-Borges haters probably) just want to see them turn it around so we can keep continuity, and hopefully build back up to 10+ wins/season, and then get the chance for the special season ('97) a little more often.

So, the short of that long explanation is, I am pretty happy with the outcome, based on my expectations were going into the game.