OTish: Missed Recruit /s

Submitted by jhackney on February 6th, 2015 at 11:33 PM

How did we miss this guy? Gotta be 5 stars. He'll prolly be NFL MVP one day..

I repeat, how did we miss him? What a failure of a recruiting year. Cue the doom. 


From MaxPreps: (Never seen before high school highlights of one J.J. Watt)




(eMbed fail except for sMart phone app)




Hails from Waukesha, WI


Other suitors in order: Wisconsin, Coastal Carolina, Mid-Tennessee St., St. Mary's (PA), Gonzaga Sprint Team, obviously Alabama, Ohio University (NTO), Findlandia 

6'5" 290lbs

Likes: QB meat, blood, screaming woooooo like Ric Flair, the coasts of Maine.

Dislikes:  Loud birds and Burt Reynolds/ Uncle Rico love children: (Dave Wanstache is 1st cousin)


HS Career Stats:

Freshman: Broke bench press, senior girls fainted at sight, backup QB teammate quit out of fear.


Sophomore: Three QB carted off field, A concussed teammate after a bare Watt headbutt, and a steady relationship with Jessica Alba. 


Junior: National Guard called by two visiting opponents to stop pass rush, dropped squat bar registered a 4.7 on Richter scale, and confused for a bull moose. 


Senior: 1st ever season in high school football history all opponents forfeit before kickoff, drag races with Sean Connery, not allowed on the Bachelor show because of lack of competition, and tackling drills with polar bears due to lack of season play to be ready for college.



Can't believe Jim Harbaugh hasn't waved his maniacal genius wand and committed him. This has been a utter failure of a recruiting season. Let's just pack it in. 




February 7th, 2015 at 8:56 AM ^

Because I laughed out loud at it.

The OP has a certain WTF? feel to it.  That post I commented on expressed it perfectly.

Meyer's photo in context makes no sense.  StoneRose's comment tying in Stalin makes no sense. (The uniform doesn't look Soviet, the moustache is not particularly Stalin-esque.)  None of this makes any sense. 

The confluence of senseless commentary merged ... I laughed ... I posted.


February 7th, 2015 at 12:12 AM ^

Generally I upvote any thread with Jessica Alba in it .... but just can't here.  However I'll post a photo that is relevant and central to the OP.


February 7th, 2015 at 12:51 AM ^

I'm confused. Are you a huge Texans fan? Did you just meet JJ Watt and he bought you a bunch of drinks? I mean that's just a lot of research and time spent looking up info on another dude if none of the above doesn't apply.

Prince Lover

February 7th, 2015 at 1:13 AM ^

I'm a little confused too. But maybe that's what you were going for. But if I know that, then that means in fact I am not confused. And not being confused about that is really confusing because I fear I am confusing the confusion. And that would just be a disaster!


February 7th, 2015 at 3:48 AM ^

To the hospital for drinking "a lot" of alcohol and doing cocaine. While we established she'd kill her 19yo daughter for doing the same-it's ok for her too. She just got her check.

Your post reminds me of what she was trying to say.

Clarence Beeks

February 7th, 2015 at 9:01 AM ^

Everything about this thread is awesome. One of my favorite things about this blog: when long time legendary posters who haven't posted in a long time come back and new posters just don't get it because they lack the context that makes it hilarious.