OT: Summer Action Movies

Submitted by JeepinBen on May 2nd, 2010 at 9:33 AM

So 3 summer movies really interest me from an unintentional comedy scale.  I'm going to propose my rankings of the movies from 0-5 Hockey bears (intentional comedy) and 0- 5 Freekbasses (unintentional)


1. Macgruber


This film has me not too thrilled... i like the sketch, but i think that the only successful SNL movie based on a sketch in the last i dont know how long was "A Night at the Roxbury". Anyway, this movie is definitely 5 Hockey Bears.


2. The A-Team


I'm excited for this film, but, I'm also nervous about it. a Mr. T Cameo would make this movie 100% pure columbian awesome, even without any good parts in the rest of the film. The A-Team show didnt take itself seriously, and it looks like they might be taking it seriously in the movie. I'm going to guess 2 Hockey Bears, and probably 1.5 Freekbasses


3. The Expendables


Stallone. Willis. Jet Li. Statham. Randy Coture. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Arnold Schwazenegger. Terry Crewes (OLD SPICE POWER BLOCKER). Mickey Rourke. Gravelly voice over guy in the trailer. There is no way i'll be able to see this in theaters, since i think I'll be laughing my ass off the whole movie... at parts that aren't supposed to be funny. I definitely think this movie will try to make some jokes (1 Hockey bear) but will be 5 Freekbasses. 


Your thoughts? Any of these movies worth $9 to see in theaters?



May 2nd, 2010 at 9:49 AM ^

Yeah, I'll go see Iron Man, I really liked both Iron Man and Ed Norton's Hulk. I'm pumped for the Marvel crossover/Avengers with Sam Jackson too. 


The original post was more about the possibly horrific summer movies, but yeah, there should be good ones too

Space Coyote

May 2nd, 2010 at 10:06 AM ^

That are so bad they are funny.  Well


Bad: Twilight, Sex and the City 2, Killers, Going the Distance


So Bad it's Funny: Marmaduke, Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Step Up 3D, Lottery Ticket


Some of those may be switched, but that's my feeling.  And so bad it's funny I wouldn't spend $9 on because there is always the option of you just being in a bad mood and being pissed you spent $9 for a movie you knew would be bad and hoped would be so bad it was funny.  I'd wait until DVD for so bad it's funny.


Side note: Best so bad it's funny of all time is "Plan 9 from Outer Space."  It's a movie by Ed Wood (made famous by Johnny Depp and Tim Burton).  The real version should be available on YouTube I believe, as I think it is public domain.  If you have time I'd watch that.  Card board graves, random foreign people, terrible acting, it has it all

Space Coyote

May 2nd, 2010 at 10:18 AM ^

That being said, go see Toy Story 3. 


Also should be good: Robin Hood, Predators, Inception (!) (The next Chris Nolan, should be very good), Dinner for Shmucks, Get Low, The Other Guys, Twilight.


Wait, what was that last one?  I'm just kidding, don't see Twilight.  But those are some of the other good ones for summer, should be some others as well.  But really, I would not suggest seeing any twilight.


So bad it's good based off of similar pretense as MacGruber:  A full scale movie entitled "Crossfire!"


May 2nd, 2010 at 9:44 AM ^

I've heard some good things about macgruber, but I'm really not sure what to think about it. It could either be really stupid and predictable, or it could be interesting and witty. Iron Man 2 is going to be sweet, though.

Space Coyote

May 2nd, 2010 at 9:58 AM ^

Which film festival in Austin.  It got good reviews there to the point of saying it is the best SNL movie since Wayne's World.  I really liked the first Wayne's World, but since then it's been pretty down hill for SNL movies, with IMO Night at the Roxbury being the best sinse then.  None have really been successful sinse Wayne's World either.  I'm not really a big SNL fan though, so there is that.


My thought is that MacGruber will be a pretty good movie, but not hilarious.  I don't think it will make as big as an impact comedy-wise on society as Wayne's World did, I don't think MacGruber has the catch phrases and dialog to catch on and make it as popular.  I would wait until DVD unless upcoming reviews and more importantly, word of mouth, prove otherwise

Blue Bunny Friday

May 2nd, 2010 at 2:26 PM ^

Film↓ Release
Budget↓ Gross↓ Rotten Tomatoes
MPAA Rating↓ Distributor↓
Coneheads 1993 Unknown 021274717 $21,274,717 27% - 5.0 Rated PG Paramount
It's Pat 1994 Unknown 000060822 $60,822 0% - 2.4 Rated PG-13 Buena Vista
Stuart Saves His Family 1995 $15 million 000912082 $912,082 29% - 5.0 Rated PG-13 Paramount
A Night at the Roxbury 1998 $17 million 030331165 $30,331,165 10% 26 5.7 Rated PG-13 Paramount
Blues Brothers 2000 1998 $28 million 014051384 $14,051,384 45% - 4.4 Rated PG-13 Universal
Superstar 1999 $14 million 034636478 $34,636,478 33% 42 4.5 Rated PG-13 Paramount
The Ladies Man 2000 $24 million 013616610 $13,616,610 11% 22 4.7 Rated R Paramount
MacGruber 2010 $10 million N/A N/A N/A N/A Rated R Universal

To get excited for an SNL movie seems like an example of Einstein's definition of insanity. I can personally attest to It's Pat and The Ladies Man being particularly awful.

Wallaby Court

May 2nd, 2010 at 12:33 PM ^

My biggest problem with the expendables is that Stallone's plastic surgery/botox has dropped him in the middle of the uncanny valley. I would appreciate the story more if Stallone accepted that he was aging and used that to his advantage, turning The Expendables into something more like a 'veteran warriors on one last mission' film.

The A Team looks all right, but BA Baracus was horribly miscast. Which dumbass producer honestly thought that Quinton Jackson had enough acting ability to fill a teaspoon, let alone a full length film? His casting reeks of focus group marketing, designed to snag the mouth breathing Affliction brahs. Honestly, apart from him, the movie looks alright.

I'm also excited about Iron Man 2 (RDJr looks good as always) and The Other Guys, if only to see Marky Mark make fun of his typecasting.

Wallaby Court

May 2nd, 2010 at 6:44 PM ^

Yes. Which is saying something. I went back and looked at the old A-Team clips. Clearly, Mr. T was not a talented actor. However, he did manage to spit out his lines without mumbling. All of the Rampage Jackson scenes in the trailers are half mumbled. So I am going to complain when the new producers  manage to pick a worse actor than the admittedly awful original.


May 2nd, 2010 at 12:46 PM ^

I hate that Hollywood can't come up with enough good new scripts that they have been remaking and butchering classics. All in the last few years. Bad News Bears, Texas Chainsaw Massacre,Friday the 13th, The hills have Eyes,etc. Now they're doing Elm Street and Karate Kid..

On the Predator front could they find a more less appropriate actor than Adrien Brody. McLovin is about as believable. The biggest atrocity of all may be Russell Brand redoing Arthur. The original was a classic. Don't touch it cro magnon man.

With iron Man though I do like how they're doing that  along with Thor, Hulk, and Captain America separately and then bringin them together for the Avengers.



May 2nd, 2010 at 1:50 PM ^

Almost always blow. They lack plot, character development, and usually quality acting. It's all about crappy CGI, explosions, and the latest "it" babe. These movies are made for one  reason, and it isn't to make a great movie...It's to make lots of money off of morons who obsess over celebrites and pop culture. Remake Predator? My God, what is happening.

Space Coyote

May 2nd, 2010 at 2:22 PM ^

It is supposed to be set pretty far in the future if I'm not mistaken, and is on the "preditors" planet.  Humans go to their planet now.  So it isn't a remake at all, but a sequel.


Also, in recent years, there have been a number of summer blockbusters that have surpassed the stereotype of all special effects and no plot, The Dark Knight probably being the best example.  Chris Nolan's new movie, Inception, should be much the same and is being touted as perhaps a great psychological thriller as well.


I'm also getting tired of remakes, especially ones that don't need to happen, like bad news bears, which still looks fine, and the comedy is fine.  An update was unnecessary.  However, some sequels and remakes are ok.  I prefer a new movie to almost all remakes and sequels and I wish Hollywood would take more risks on them.  Sorry for the massive tangent, I was somewhat responding to several comments above yours as well.


May 2nd, 2010 at 11:47 PM ^

a different era...Movies were at their peak during the 70s, 80s, and even early-to-mid 90s. If those movies were made today, they would be complete garbage and most likely would be forgotten in five to ten years. Crystal Skull is a perfect example of trash put out to capitalize off of a great franchise, just to make a buck. Which is all we are seeing in today's cinema.


May 2nd, 2010 at 2:30 PM ^

I think it'll be a fun movie.   Certainly will not  be regarded as high art, but hey, look at all the big names in that flick.  That alone is worth a watch.

Everyone I mention the movie to says "what about Jean Claude Van Damme?"   They totally needed to get him in that movie.

I am very looking forward to Iron Man 2.  My favorite comic as a youngster.   And Paltrow as a redhead..... nice...  very nice....


May 2nd, 2010 at 3:17 PM ^

There are a lot of movies that have potential coming out this summer. Robin Hood should be good. Get him to the Greek could be the next Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Inception with Di Caprio could be good. Salt could be like Wanted for those who liked that.


May 2nd, 2010 at 6:47 PM ^

Iron Man is the only movie I am looking forward to this summer.  Others should be good, but IM should be the summer must see movie.


May 2nd, 2010 at 7:52 PM ^

Most of them are brainless and pointless.  That being said, I am kind of looking forward to Salt, Inception, Grownups, and The Last Airbender.