OT - SEC jokes

Submitted by mgolf4 on September 7th, 2010 at 11:05 PM

Some of you may have seen this before but for those who have not, enjoy:

HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA : it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.

At FLORIDA : it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned
 off the old one.

At ALABAMA : it takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: it takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five Semester hours.

At KENTUCKY : it takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during
 basketball season.

At TENNESSEE : it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama .

At MISSISSIPPI STATE : it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".

At AUBURN: it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA : it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS : None. There is no electricity in Arkansas

Comments

Captain

September 7th, 2010 at 11:23 PM ^

At Florida, it only takes three, not four.  One to give the following speech:

To the fans and everybody in Gator Nation, I'm sorry the light went out.

I'm extremely sorry.  We were hoping it would stay on for seven years like the box said it would.  That was my goal, something no light in Florida has ever done.  

I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this.  You will never see any light in the country shine as brightly as the one I got today from Home Depot.  You will never see anyone screw it into the socket as hard as I will screw this damn thing in.

You will never see a Florida student work harder than I will the next fifteen minutes after I read the instructions on how to take out the old light bulb, remove the shards of glass from my fingertips, and replace it with this one, then hire an electrician to finish the job.

God bless.

And the other two to tell him how awesome he is.

Sommy

September 8th, 2010 at 12:36 AM ^

Hahaha.

If I actually did hate Fernando Rodney, I would have no reason to hate him now.  He's gone.

But in all fairness, while I don't really care for the guy, I'm honestly pretty indifferent about him.  I just enjoy pushing people's buttons once in a while.  I think some of the vitriol that others have for the guy is so ridiculous that I can't help but channel it once in a while.

I would guess you probably don't believe me, but I wouldn't blame you.

woodsonfromleaf97

September 7th, 2010 at 11:42 PM ^

an indefinite member of Florida fans because as as soon as the old bulb was taken out, no matter what number of people were changing the bulb, there would surely be some sort of never ending discussion on Tim Tebow

clarkiefromcanada

September 8th, 2010 at 12:12 AM ^

in any SEC situation it would take a minimum of two people to change the lightbulb - one guy changing the lightbulb and the other a member of the media from CBS or ESPN.

The first person changes the bulb...the media representative would tell everyone how much more difficult it was to change that light bulb than if it were being changed in the Big Ten, Pac Ten or other conferences. Then the media representative would discuss how the depth of the room in which the bulb was being changed caused ongoing and massive pressure on the guy changing the bulb. Finally, the media member would ignore that the guy changing the bulb actually paid the bulb to light up.