OT / ROmP
The offseason is so frustrating. Because of that, I notice little things that would otherwise not bother me at all. I will feel better if I could get them off my chest. So without further ado, I waste your time with a Rant of minor Proportion.
Volkswagon: You can't just make shit up. The game, slug bug, is an American classic. It evolved over the course of decades to become an American classic. You cannot pretend that the game, slug bug, involves hitting people every time they see a Volkswagen Jetta. Quit trying to convince me that it is sociably acceptable behaviour. The first person who sees a Passat and yells "blue one!" while punching me in the arm, is getting a right cross.
MSN, aka Bill Gates: What's up with the Rickroll? I used to go to your website to find interesting articles. But now when I click on a headline, rather than redirect me to the article in question, you redirect me to Bing. I don't have time for Bing. I don't go to MSN so that I can perform a websearch for "Bin Laden boarding pass" I go to MSN in the hope that I will find direct links to the original story. If I wanted to Google something, I would simply use Google to Google it. Got that?
Ville Leino: Dude, why? Why did you suck so horribly for Detroit? I'm glad you are playing well these days. But sheesh, if you would have shown a tenth of this talent when you played for Detroit, we could have traded you for more than a bag of pucks.
Automobile traffic: There is an inverse relationship between how quickly you want to be somewhere and the speed at which traffic flows. (note: I do not tailgate. I simply fume at a considerate distance.)
Over the air television: Now that every channel has the opportunity to add alternate programming to their broadcast, there is no reason to interrupt my shows to tell me that a thunderstorm is a brewin'. There is plenty of room at the bottom to scroll pertinent information. And if I think it warrants further attention I can change over to your 24hour weather channel for realtime updates. Honestly, when did weather become so dramatic? Has anyone ever seen a thunderstorm before? OH NO! a thunderstorm! Heavy Rain! Lightning! Wind! Seek the shelter of a hardened bunker! If there might be hail the size of golfballs, or the wind has the potential to blow my house away, feel free to interrupt the broadcast. Otherwise, get off my lawn.
Thank you for listening. This concludes the ROmP.
Now back to your regularly scheduled obsession.
seconded
Nothing is a lemon compared to the Saab 9-3. It was the biggest POS I have ever owned. From the day I rolled off the lot I have had nothing but engine troubles. I even changed the oil every 3K miles with Mobile1 full synthetic. 4 months after I bought it, I blew a head gasket. I had engine sludge issues constantly. The idiots who engineered this car placed the oil pan in almost direct contact with the carb. Then the power steering somehow developed a leak. The final straw was the POS starter. I would drive 15 minutes across Ann Arbor to best buy. When I would try to restart, it would fail. I would have to pour water over the overheated neutral safety switch, to get it to start. I am glad i traded that piece of crap in. I got peanuts for it from the dealer. As long as I done with it. I am glad Saab went under.
I have new rant too:
Directv: So now you are going to start offering free HD for life and to only to new customers. Thanks for stiffing your current loyal subscribers. It is like the Ally Bank commercials where the newer kid is giving all of these cool toys and ice cream, but the other kid gets stiffed. I will try ignore the period when you were trying to stick it to Comcast and took away Versus. It was nice of you to raise my rates for less channels. It is this sort of crap that made me hate Comcast. The previous satellite DTV launched, D12, was sure put to good use considering 90% of its content is pay-per-view. Lets hope you don't pull the same crap with the satellite recently placed into orbit, D13. At least I have ESPNU-HD and WGN-HD. I can get my heart ripped out of my chest by both Michigan hockey and the Cubs in full HD. I also love how each HD-DVR leased through Directv has an initial fee of $199 on top of the monthly $10 lease fee. If I am paying $199 for a receiver I should be able to keep it after I end my service, which I plan on doing after my contract ends in August.
...Volkswagen. It's a stupid marketing campaign. It will pass.
What would be a Rant Of Major Proportion, if this is ROMP?
The source material would probably include the BP oil spill, the economy, politics, press journalists, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. Real wrath of God stuff.
Was that a Ghostbusters reference? If so, you left out mass hysteria.
I like how you think, but I meant what would be the acronym for a rant of major proportion.
I see what you mean. How to differentiate?
ROMaPro?
ROMP 2.0?
ROMP vs. ROmP
When spoken aloud, distinguish by the degree of stress on the M. RoMMMp vs. romp.
I'll go with that.
now whats up with that?
The fate of airplane food is still up in the air.
My dad just broke up with my mom for the second time (they started dating again after her second divorce) in order to date his brother's ex-fiance, who he introduced to me at a family mother's day gathering... with his brother and family in attendance. My aunt is from Ohio and always feels really left out because we're all raging M fans, even her kids. My nana is a rabid alumna who thought my aunt was insulting Michigan and ripped her a new one, in front of dad's gf (who my nana loves) who as previously mentioned is her husband's ex fiance. Can't even make this shit up.
Dad's gf is nice and all (also a fellow beer snob to unite against my Dad's bud light and corona ways) but he's immediately moving in with her and her kids 45 minutes north, leaving the one permanent address I have. I'm officially a wandering renter stuck paying NY taxes.
Also, my mom has despised my dad's new g/f SINCE HIGH SCHOOL and my other aunt (mom's sister) FACEBOOK STALKED my dad and told my mom who he was dating. Mom flips, telling me "not to trust anything [gf] says" to which I basically said I dont give a flying f*ck, it's not my problem who my parents date since I don't live with them anymore. She proceeds to go on blind dates with random creepy rich dudes who expect her to put out on the first date. I'm considering signing her up for a cougar dating site without her knowledge just because it would be funny as shit until she found out it was me and not my dad or sister.
Also also, I am rather jealous of my boyfriend for still being able to day-drink to his heart's content in Ann Arbor while I'm working 40 hour weeks in LI and going home to a basement apartment in a town at least an hour away from any of my high school friends (or psycho family for that matter).
/rant
Also, Dr. Cox would be proud.
...extending your empathy, I'll send my sympathies to both of you.
if we were bowhunters instead of Michigan fans
They aren't mutually exclusive...
my dad for example. my nana? not so much
So why is it that my nephews can't take a peanut butter and jelly sammich to kindergarten, or I am stuck eating stale-ass pretzels on an airplane because people are allergic to peanuts, yet EVERY TIME I GO GROCERY SHOPPING THEY HAVE SHRIMP SAMPLES??? I am deathly allergic to shellfish, yet every single restaurant has seafood specials. Does my allergy not concern everyone like peanuts? I am constantly getting chased out of restaurants because Billy-Bob and Peggy-Jo are out on their third 2 year anniversary, and celebrate the fact that "it's really gonna work out this time, ma" by ordering $12.99 worth of fried shrimp and long islands til they reach the point of fisticuffs in the parking lot! Fuck you! I hope your thirteen cats run away and your inbred children all end up on Maury Povich. I just want to enjoy my Tanq n Tonic in peace.