Submitted by Eskimoan on June 27th, 2014 at 10:15 PM

Ok guys, looking for nicknames that you and your buddies have for athletes or coaches. I have read some pretty funny and clever ones on here before that gave me a good laugh, though I could not tell you what they are off the top of my head. (Reason for this post). Not looking for popular or common names, (ie,  King James, Black Mamba, Megatron), but original names that you or your friends have made up .  

Example, my buddy and I always call Najeh Davenport "Closet Shitter" and he will be that forever because.. well, google it if you don't know.

Gerald Laird will forever be "Laird Ass" , and we have a slew of others, but I want to hear yours !



June 27th, 2014 at 10:28 PM ^

Some of us called Rob Deer "Feast Or Famine" when he was with Detroit, because there were only two ways that most at-bats would end, and only one of them did not involve a big, terrifying whiff at a curveball. 

Among some of my favorites from baseball's slightly more distant past is Dick Stuart's "Dr. Strangeglove" appellation. His stats confirm that his relationship with meaningful defense at first base was....complex.



June 27th, 2014 at 10:29 PM ^

Man, you and I have come up with some crazy shit over the years...
Cub Dumpster - Ryan Dempster - has gotta be an all-timer. Closet Shitter as well. I'm gonna have to rack my brain and think of some of the effed up drunk convos we've had about ballers...


June 27th, 2014 at 10:37 PM ^

JOHNNY DAMON!!! - Like the Matt Damon puppet in Team America...
Man, I need my PS2 and my old copies of Madden to see what we changed some of those names to...


June 27th, 2014 at 11:07 PM ^

Up until this year I always referred to Porcello as "Five Inning Ricky"

Gerald Laird: LARD

Chris Houston: Always called him 'Toast Houston' because he's always getting burned

Dick Sherman: Goes without saying

Stan the Fat Man (Van Gundy) I plan on retiring that nickname very soon.



June 28th, 2014 at 12:34 AM ^

I've always called rick porcello "Poor-chello" it's not that clever or funny but it started out in his rookie season when my dad couldn't figure out how to pronounce his name.

Phil coke has gone through a lot of nicknames but recently it's been "President's Choice (when he does well)", "Pepsi Cola ( not great but doesn't completely blow it) or "Fucking dumpster fire piece of shit (have been using this one a lot this year out of pure rage)"


June 27th, 2014 at 11:11 PM ^

I've always called Avila "hot garbage" bc his at bats reek...it's morphed into "hot garb" now.

My buddy called Rasheed "dumb whore" which became simply DW over time.


June 27th, 2014 at 11:29 PM ^

We used to call Roy Williams (lions) hot hands like the kid from little giants who couldn't catch a pass. Phil coke is that fucking piece of shit. Danny worthless. Jim Leyland was jimmy leave em in.

rob f

June 28th, 2014 at 12:28 AM ^

utility outfielder back in the 50's and early 60's, played primarily for the Yankees and  Kansas City A's, also short stints with the Angels and Houston.

We referred to him as "Peckerhead".  Only because he seemed to be the best clutch hitter in the history of Strat-O-Matic Baseball. I swear the man was lethal late in games!

Even though Cerv had rather pedestrian career stats, he somehow always came thru with big clutch hits when my friends and I played Strat-O-Matic.  The S-O-M game one of my buddies owned came with several sets of cards, including a Yankee team from the mid-50's.  And it wasn't teh Yogi Berra's and Mickey Mantles of that team that always got the key hit, it was that peckerhead Cerv.



June 28th, 2014 at 12:32 AM ^

I've been referring to JD Martinez as "Jumbo Dong", because I don't know what the JD stands for and well, he's been playing like he's got a jumbo dong.


June 28th, 2014 at 12:39 AM ^

Denard Robinson is always referred to as "DARRRNEL" when with my dad. Can't remember where we were but overheard this big ole black guy at a bar talking football and kept bringing up how great "Darrrnel Robinson" was.


June 28th, 2014 at 12:46 AM ^

is "Onions." A friend of mine and I always text back and forth during MBB games and whenever Nik would drain a shot we would refer to him as Onions. Bill Raferty is the source.


June 28th, 2014 at 1:00 AM ^

Nik is probably my favorite athlete that I've had the privilege to watch in the Maize and Blue. I've called him "Canadian Bacon" after the movie not food, "The Canadian Sharpshooter" but have settled on "the Massasauga Rattler" which is the common name of the Massasauga Rattlesnake here in Ontario.