OT: Oregon Makes Another Uni-Related Assault on Humanity
When I was a very young child, I decided it was high time I learned to dress myself. Granted, it was a bit early in my development to be attempting such a complicated endeavor-- many suggested I potty-trained first. But I had an impatient, rather jerky mother, and I was capricious.
The attempt, predictably, ended badly. Had I been old enough to understand cause-and-effect and consequence, or had prior knowledge of a device called a "camera" and its function, I might not have even attempted this. Alas, I did, and the resulting photo is still on a shelf at my parents' home, a copy rests in a much-worn flip-book at my father's office, and this image of a one-armed, superman-caped, transformer-topped thing wearing a pair of pants on each leg, since transcribed to digital format, reappears at family events in my father's Powerpoint presentations.
This is a warning to anyone seriously considering accepting an offer to play football at the University of Oregon.
Not content with already being the most ridiculous-looking team in all of sports, the Ducks recently unveiled Oregon's most recent affront to decency. Like the late-'90s Batman film franchise, the Ducks keep adding more enemies -- they now have five hideous uniforms for the 12 to 13 games played each season. Of course, they also said they plan to "mix and match." That's three different helmets, three different pants, five different shirts, four different socks, and two different shoes.
The designs themselves are pretty plain, trading in the old roadkill shoulders for Red Bull wings. And there's apparently an attempt at a throwback, except someone failed to mention that the players weren't actually wearing black and white.
I expect these new unis will be out the door as fast as the last ones, as well as the ones they wore before they changed their designer to Latrine (used to be Shit-House).
Let's all take a moment and be thankful for the maize and blue, the winged helmets, and the fact that the people who make such decisions in our athletic department are not raging lunatics.
As for those attending/playing for/associated with the University of Oregon who have to watch their team play in each of these progressively more insulting uniforms, you have my heartfelt sympathies. May I recommend a radio?
Not content with already being the most ridiculous-looking team in all of sports, the Ducks recently unveiled Oregon's most recent affront to decency. Like the late-'90s Batman film franchise, the Ducks keep adding more enemies -- they now have five hideous uniforms for the 12 to 13 games played each season. Of course, they also said they plan to "mix and match." That's three different helmets, three different pants, five different shirts, four different socks, and two different shoes.
The designs themselves are pretty plain, trading in the old roadkill shoulders for Red Bull wings. And there's apparently an attempt at a throwback, except someone failed to mention that the players weren't actually wearing black and white.
I expect these new unis will be out the door as fast as the last ones, as well as the ones they wore before they changed their designer to Latrine (used to be Shit-House).
Let's all take a moment and be thankful for the maize and blue, the winged helmets, and the fact that the people who make such decisions in our athletic department are not raging lunatics.
As for those attending/playing for/associated with the University of Oregon who have to watch their team play in each of these progressively more insulting uniforms, you have my heartfelt sympathies. May I recommend a radio?"Our helmet's got wings". Chip Kelly should have a field day.
haha that commercial made me laugh every time. especially when joe pa went COME TO PENN STATE.
anyway, these honestly look like shit. i'm sure if i told that to oregon fans they would just say that i'm jealous, but i'm not. why do they have an all gray and silver uniform? personally, the ones they wore in the early 2000s were actually kind of cool. but this is just ridiculously ugly.
but only on the fact that the Big Ten Network commercial was hilarious. I do agree that the white and gray unis are kind of lame, but I still like their jerseys for the most part. I thought that what they had on the shoulder pads last year was better, but maybe it's just me.
Laugh all you want, but the uni's help. Oregon is a household name and they pull recruits nationally. The style of play, the facilities and the uniforms have made Oregon a national brand to recruits. If you don't have the history and tradition of the old school programs, you have to find a way to adapt and compete. Oregon has done a great job at doing this.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want new uniforms every year (or ever) but just because you don't like how they look doesn't mean they don't serve a role in the program.
Other then the powder yellow color, there are some things going right in the design...in my opinion.
Actually, the "national brand" is Nike. It's hard to tell where the university ends and the company begins.
Someone above mentioned Oregon fans crying jealousy. I think they would be right, not over the jersey designs but because of what the jersey's represent.
Monkey torture?
Yes. That and Nike's utter takeover of Oregon's athletic department that allows them to say "Hey, PS3 for everyone!".
I did not think it was possible to get any worse than the Dennis Dixon era steel flooring shoulders uniforms. Evidently, I was wrong.
On the plus side, though, this puts an end to the Maize uniform argument right? Right?
Especially the white with the diamond plate non-skid pattern. My daughter is a Ducks fan strictly on the basis of the uniforms and the insane Duck mascot.
Not if you bring it up. Season is almost starting!
I like them. I mean, okay so they need to be toned down a bit but
1) It gets people talking about Oregon and not in a "Holy shit, their coach stepped down after signing day? That's slightly douchey" way.
2) They're kind of cool. The wings appear to be in a Pacific Northwest totem style, which is awesome.
Those wings are some of the silliest looking things I've ever seen. They make the Any Given Sunday uniforms look positively timeless by comparison. These uniforms look like what might happen if a 13 year-old were given the reigns to design uniforms for a rather crappy CFB video game, if that 13 year-old happened to have severe myopia and a tasteless pretension towards fabulousness.
I don't think it's the uniforms that have helped Oregon get recognition. They've had some really good teams, and billions of Nike dollars to do whatever they please.
Tell us what you really think. You're among friends. This is a safe place.
"I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest....."
These are a billion times better than past abominations. I really like the white/silver, the white/green, and the all green combos.
I'm slightly upset at the lack of a green and yellow. It seems like a needless color change.
The one in the middle is probably one of the coolest I've seen in college football.
By any chance, are you a Philadelphia Eagles fan?
I dislike the eagles.
Those feathered shoulder pads are hilarious and absolutely absurd looking.
How? Do you realize this is a team called the Ducks? I think it's the coolest part of the jersey, like the tribal designs on Hawaii's.
Should they put a bill on the helmet and a tail on the pants just to pull the trifecta? I mean they are the ducks after all...
They're the Ducks, after all.
Say what you will about the tire-tread era uniforms, but at least those had discernible colors. What kind of green is this? Heroin addiction? Dying grass? It's as though the color green got stood up by its date, Vibrancy. And I literally cannot imagine someone playing football in the uniform on the far right. I can't. I have tried to envision Jonathan Stewart bowling someone over or Dennis Dixon faking a handoff in that abortion but I can't do it. I don't think Oregon is actually going to wear that on the field. I'm pretty sure they just unveiled it to frighten me.
just because of the doors it opens into the modeling world after college.
looks like a sickly Philadelhia Eagle on an old solid-state TV with color hue issues.
since they have hundreds of different uni ideas, they won't be able to showcase all of them in a season, even by wearing a different one as a team for each game.
To counteract this serious problem, I think each player on the team should wear their own, distinct uniform every game. Imagine a team with all 50-something guys wearing a different uniform and imagine how friggin awesome it would be.
What would you think if you looked across the field at an offensive line that looked like the 5 pictured above.
(Besides..."Fuck, my eyes!")
Read the mouseover text on the posted image.
Already there, man!
I don't care what anyone says. The steel flooring unis were one of the worst in uniform history. These are better.
In fact, the gray ones are actually OK in my book. I would raise holy hell if any of my teams changed their colors, but I don't care about what other teams do.
Left to right, 10 being as good as the Maize and Blue, I'd say they're: 7, 6, 7, 5, and 2.
They'll add nipples next year, like the batsuit had in Batman 4.
My issue with these unis is the shoes. The green and whites especially look like they have tassels or something. Like saddle shoes.
as though they were an arena football league team.
I take it they're either assuming all of their fans are rich, or they've abandoned the "replica jersey sales" revenue stream.
And there's apparently an attempt at a throwback, except someone failed to mention that the players weren't actually wearing black and white.
Hilarious
(though that is also an problem IMO--duck's wings that look like webbed fingers on the shoulder?) but it is the lack of identity and consistency that the multi-uniform color scheme represents. What are your school colors? What is your identity? If your answer is anything close to "it changes" then you have no identity at all. I actually think the helmet close-up in the link looks pretty cool, and the white/silver I also like. But in the light of the lack of any consistency, any tradition, or any identity, that matters little IMO.
but you missed one.
The sixth model showed up a little late:
I actually had no interest in this thread and was quickly skimming thru it until I got to this monstrosity. Now I am happy I stayed with it. Gotta go share this photo with my 13 year old daughter, she will get a kick out of it.
Edit: I was wrong, she did not get a kick out of it at all
lmao
Is this a joke?
I don't have daughters, but uh, this is not what I personally would be sharing with them. Unless I was trying to point out "reasons to cross to the other side of the street."
mgoblog is great...
just... how does this stuff happen in the first place? then, how does someone find it with such ease? Excellent work.
This pic actually came up like 100 times when I was searching for M cheerleader unis for the M Uniform Tournament.
The silver helmet is actually pretty nice.
Seconded.
These jerseys actually seem like an improvement. Wings make a lot more sense than sewer grates. And even though they have 5 fucking helmet designs, I think that they're all still better than this disaster.
I think everyone is just jealous that they could have a maize-out. At night. With smoke machines and Metallica.
I hate them all.
Most of my objections to this look have been covered already, but here's one more: the cheap-looking, lopsided "futuristic" numbers. They look like they're made up of duct tape*. The #7 in particular looks really bad.
(*I wouldn't put it past Nike to have done this on purpose, going for a lame "duck/duct" pun.)
Oregon hits the very top of the No-Taste-O-Meter. Their uniform style would actually improve if they fed 20 cats lime green jello and had them puke on a white uniform.
to quote Bill Simmons from several years ago Oregon is "Nike's crash test dummy"