OT - My Wife is Pregnant with Our First

I've got two kids. The sleep advice isn't that helpful for you, but it is for your wife. Don't buy anything if you can avoid it, outside of a crib. If you can borrow clothes, do that. We got so many hand me downs, I think we didn't buy clothes until they were 3 or so. Also, don't buy diapers until after the baby is born. Babies come out all kinds of sizes and if you have the wrong size it doesn't help at all. The other piece of advice is to learn quickly how to say no. Especially to people who try to give you advice or who bug you. Family are great, so long as they're not annoying and more trouble, so get used to not accommodating other people's desires outside of your wife and your kid for a couple of years. Also, everyone has an agenda to push (for example: the breastfeeding people), and the only thing that matters is what you and your wife think. We did the breastfeeding thing because my wife wanted to, but if she hadn't wanted to, there were a lot of people who would have tried to push their opinions on her and guilt her into doing it. When it comes to your kids and your family, stick to your guns and don't be afraid to tell people to f' off it they try to push their agenda on you. Even if you're unsure that you know best, go with your gut and don't feel compelled to listen to anyone except your wife about how you should raise your kid.

One other poster mentioned it, but be mentally prepared for the possibility of a miscarriage until at least the 16-week appt. Our Dr. all-but-assured us we were past the risky stage at 11 weeks (based on the heartbeat and other indicators). After sharing the news w/ quite a few friends and family, we found a week later our girl didn't make it.

It was only then that a ton of people confided in us that they also went through miscarriage(s). It hardly ever gets announced on Facebook or talked about in social circles, so you have no idea how rampant it is until it happens to you. Actually, most Dr.'s in the medical field can't even predict the national % for similar reasons, but we've heard it can be as high as 33% of pregnancies.

Congrats

You don't need half of the junk Babies r Us will tell you to get.
Cloth diapers are a pain/gross but can save you a ton of money in the long run.
We had our babies sleep in bed with us and it worked out fine. The transition out when they got older was a rough few weeks but it passed.

1) 529 plan for college savings. Look into your state and what tax savings you get.

2) go on a babycation. It's cheesy, but we still remember ours from 6 years ago. Do something fun, but not too taxing for your wife.

3) get what to expect when you are expecting. It's fun to see the weekly progress your unborn baby is making

4) go with your wife to the OB appointments, especially on ultra sound days. It's fun.

5) don't be so concerned about what your wife cannot eat, drink, do, but ask the doctor and not the Internet. There are a lot of conflicting views online.

Congrats, man. Trying with my wife for our first, so hopefuly will be joining you soon!

Send her for a manicure and pedicure and a pregnancy massage. I spent about 150 on that at the Nordstrom spa and my wife loved it. They have a package for pregnant woman, since they can't really reach their own toes at 8 months.

Advice from other people can either be really helpful or it can make you feel like you have no idea what you're doing (because there's a lot of it out there). My two cents is read a bit now, but don't overdose on parenting advice. Learn the basics, like swaddling, diaper changing, feeding facts, birth basics. Beyond that, let your own intuition and common sense kick in, especially down the road when you start to compare notes with other parents. It's easy to second guess yourself. 

 

Oh, and congratulations! It's totally worth every sleepless night, every unnerving high fever, every bout of projectile vomiting, and every defiant "No!" 

LMAO who cares

WOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NICE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who wants to organize the MgoBabyParty!?!?!?!?

Congrats, hope all goes smoothly with the pregnancy. I've got three boys, youngest 15 years old. Your life will indeed change but parenthood is awesome.

When the baby is born if you can afford it. I took a couple weeks when my son was born and I wouldn't trade that time for the world. My wife had a c-section so she had to heal up for a while. Some days I'd hold my son for 16 hours just because I didn't want to put him down.

Don't eat your children.  I heard lions do that.  What the heckkkk!?

Don't you have Facebook or somewhere like that to post crap like this? Your kid is doomed. \s

1. FInancial?
-you'll be broke

For about the next 25 years.

2. Books to read or classes to take?
-what? You'll figure it out we all do.

3. Things we should do together before the baby comes?
- well she can't drink or smoke anymore so going out is dinner for you. Once you get past the morning sickness. There's a nice window from about 2months to 6months that she's mostly normal. After 6 months hang on for the ride.

4. Etc.
-breathe

If you have any extra diapers let me know.

for a savings account of some sort for your child. Add a little extra every birthday... 2) What to Expect when You're Expecting. And any class that talks about eating or planting the placenta, well, run as fast as you can... 3) have as much noisy sex as possible, because there'll be none of that once the little one arrives... 4) Gripewater for stomach upset (nothing works better), and get one of those Boppy pillows for game time. They like them and can't get away. Maybe M-Den has a Michigan themed one.

1. You will be perpetually broke ir at perpetual risk of being so. Get term life insurance.
2. There is no manual. All children are different, but make no mistake- they are far more resilient than you are.
3. Have lots of dates, as much sex as you possibly can because the drought is a comin'
4. Other - mentally prepare yourself for being 3rd, 4th ir 5th on the attention depth chart. To counter this, take care of yourself

Get some baby carrier. I have my 2 month old in an ergo sleeping now. Still have 2 hands to cook with, have a beer, do laundry, play with my 3 year old. Baby wearing is the best.

For the birth get a midwife and doula if you can. We had great experiences with them. A Dr. probably wouldn't have allowed my wife to deliver vaginally for our first. Midwife let it ride and it all worked out great.

For a personal thing we used cloth diapers. I stand behind them and would recommend using them to anyone thinking about it.

Look for a Just Between Friends sale in your area. It's a big consignment sale for kids stuff. But I'm crunchier than most so...

First of all, congratulations.

Second, work the fuck out--especially your calves, back, forearms. You need to build up serious endurance because having a baby is like taking a slow beating every day for about the first year.

Third, see all the movies you ever wanted to see now. And if you don't already have s DVR, get one.

Fourth, the traditional Guatemalan rebozo baby slings are way better than the modern shit. More stylish too.

That's all. Good luck!

We have two and are expecting our third soon. One word PATIENCE. Our oldest does things and comes around to things in her own time. Being patient and knowing when/how to encourage has been our biggest challenge.

Congratulations. Have two little girls myself. The greatest feeling in the world to me is meeting your children for the first time. It's amazing. Welcome to parenthood!

First Congratulations !    Like others have suggested, there is really nothing more rewarding than being a parent.  Travel even on short trips now with your wife.  Depending on the grandparent situation, you may well be surprised how long it is again before the two of you have the chance to travel by yourselves again.  It can be harder later in the pregnancy to do so maybe get away soon for a short trip.  My wife and I both had older parents and just celebrated our 25th anniversary and realized we had only been away one other time since our first daughter was bornthe lwithout either of our two kids until the overnighter we just took while our older daughter was home.  

Also strongly agree with advice from others here about planning on reading to your child, and spending time with them.  It really flies and before you know it, they are in college like our oldest, or taking AP classes and studying really hard like our youngest, andt they have less time available for you.   Best wishes to you and your family.

Congratulations

The large majority of sociology/psychology studies ever done on kids and happiness conclude that, as rewarding as children might be, people without children are happier on average than those with children.

Here's are a couple of quick treatments of the subject on the Freakonomics podcast, but there's a ton of writing and commentary out there on this phenomenon.

http://freakonomics.com/2010/07/07/the-paradox-of-parenting/

http://freakonomics.com/2011/05/26/parents-are-less-happy-so-what/

So, parents, from your own personal perspective, what do you think is going on here?

BabyWise by Gary Ezzo. Excellent book for getting your baby on a schedule and you loving it.

Congratulations. Children are the greatest treasure in the world. May wife is pregnant with our third now. Don't read any books, that's for sissies.

Financial - tax deferred vehicles for their education - start now because there is diminishing return the later you start

Book - there is no playbook. You go from being a barely responsible adult to a role model. You will find yourself saying things that your parents told you and being fearful of their future. You will want to hold them, love them, protect them and realize they trump all other things in your life. The highs are the highest things you've ever experienced and the lows are atrocious. Be prepared to also never be able to see anything that talks about growing up or bad things happening to kids without breaking a little on the inside. They worship you so much that you find yourself in a different standard to live. It's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me.

3). Movies and vacations - get them in right now! Because those will be GONE when the kid is born.

4). This one is important - help! Help your spouse manage your child whenever you can. It is really hard to do one handed. You need all four arms to love your children and sometimes that's not even enough

Congrats! Being a parent is the best. Mine are 5, 2, and one on the way.

What I wish I had known before my first: the pregnancy is nothing compared to the next nine months. That was HARD (twss). Seriously, adjusting to life with the baby was much, much harder than anything pre-birth for both my wife and me. Especially if your baby is not a good sleeper or cholic-y. Basically, plan on giving up some hobbies, a lot of free time, a lot of everything. But what you get in return is better.

Some specific strategies that we used: think about letting the baby sleep with you. For us, that works wonders. We're light and stationary sleepers, so there's no danger of rolling over on the baby or anything. Honestly, I suspect that most people, as long as they're not drunk or stoned, would be fine sleeping with the baby in the same bed.

Also, just do things on the baby's schedule. She wants food, she gets it. If your wife is breastfeeding, which I'd also recommend, be prepared to nurse anywhere. Trying to get the baby to adjust to a grown-up's schedule was, at least in our case, not even close to worth the trouble.

Go to libraries and story hours at bookstores. Make friends with families with kids the same age. Have playdates. Sign up for everything you have time for: kidnastics, mommy and me tumbling and dance (daddies can go too, of course), museum tours and hands-on hours, everything. Think about screens: obviously there's such a thing as too much, but on the other hand I've seen parents take away screens in situations where I'd say the screen was great, like waiting rooms where a five-year-old's only other options are to stare at the walls or play with a baby's Fisher Price plastic rattle.

Enjoy. It's awesome.

 

My advice would be simple: don't stress and worry too much. Between the 2 of you, you have the inate ability to care for your child.