OT - My Wife is Pregnant with Our First

Submitted by Raback Omaba on January 16th, 2016 at 1:01 PM

Just found out this week that my wife is pregnant with our first - about 5 weeks along. We are are both very excited.

Basically we have 9 months until our lives change drastically -  I am wondering what kind of advice everyone has to give. Any and all advice on everything is appreciated - I am wondering how to plan on the following:

1. FInancial?

2. Books to read or classes to take?

3. Things we should do together before the baby comes?

4. Etc. 

Thanks in advance as I know that there is no better place for parenting advice than MGoBlog. Any wisdom, no matter how large or how small, is appreciated.

Also - there are a few ppl that read this board that know me personally. Please don't tell anyone about this piece of information as we are waiting until next month to break the news to family etc. (thanks)

Also, to make this relevant to your interests, I plan on being a helicopter parent and my child will certainly be a highly ranked QB or RB, if a boy. If a girl then she will be a highly touted academic out of high school and will most likely be a nobel prize winning economist. Either way they will both go to Michigan, guaranteed.

Go Blue!

Comments

Jason80

January 16th, 2016 at 5:18 PM ^

Pregnant woman can be horny as hell, you may have more for a short stretch there. And for some strange reason that huge belly representing another human being can add to her beauty.

As for the OP, congrats. Having my first had me thinking I was a great dad but it turns out she and I are more compatible so she was easy to parent. Become an expert on your unique child and the family life will be great. Try to much to mold her/him to your will and dreams and it will be a struggle.

michgoblue2005

January 17th, 2016 at 3:28 AM ^

Having kids is one of the best things in life. It's amazing how much you can love someone you have never meet before but as soon as you see him or her you will love and do anything for them. Once again congratulations and remember that you love her when she wakes you up in the middle of the night wanting Velveeta Shells and cheese with enthusiasm unknown to mankind.

Nofx1728

January 16th, 2016 at 1:06 PM ^

Don't buy all the unnecessary crap like changing tables and diaper trash cans, they never get used. Tell everyone to give you tons of diapers for baby shower and get hand me downs for clothes because they wear them 1 time before they outgrow them.

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Albion_Grad

January 16th, 2016 at 1:14 PM ^

This is spot on. As a parent of a 1 year old in 18-24 month clothing, I was going to say the same things! Expensive toys are a waste as well. My boy has more fun pulling wipes out of the box and playing with half empty water bottles. Papa bought him a little tikes hoop and he enjoys the occasional two hand slam as well.

The sleep commentary is what you will hear the most. People get carried away with it. My wife and I took 6 hour shifts the first week and a half. By a month she had him in his crib and he was only waking once or twice a night which really helped our sleep. But then again we had a trick baby, that baby that is so good it tricks you into number 2! Lol

m1817

January 16th, 2016 at 3:05 PM ^

Instead of using baby wipes to clean baby's bottom, use a wet Bounty paper towel.  Bounty is soft and much cheaper.

Instead of a bassinet, use a laundry basket lined with a soft bath towel on the bottom, covered with a cloth diaper.  If baby spits up change the cloth diaper liner.  A bath towel is firmer than a mattress so baby is less likely to smother when sleeping on it's stomach.  BTW, pediatricians recommend that babies sleep on their stomach to minimize the chance of choking when they spit up.

Lay the laundry basket on the floor and you won't have to worry about it tipping over.  If you need to move the baby, you can pick up the laundry basket without waking up the baby. 

When baby outgrows the laundry basket, you can use it for it's original intended purpose instead of having a bassinet to store away or dispose of.

Put dirty diapers in grocery store plastic produce bags, squeeze out the air, and tie them in a knot before throwing them in the trash.  The plastic bags will keep the odor in the bags.

Eastwood

January 16th, 2016 at 1:16 PM ^

I disagree, the changing table is used multiple times a day. However the diaper genie is a take it or leave it. Make sure your baby registry includes tons of diapers. Get a good swing, and or glider those help a lot. Do all your home projects now. You'll be on a 3-4 hour diaper/food/baby time/sleep schedule. You won't want to disrupt the house with the noise and chaos of renovation. Get a baby monitor with video and don't let your kid sleep with you or there will be hell trying to break that later on. If you have pets make sure you bring home something with your baby's scent before you bring that baby home, make sure they learn right away that this new stranger is above them in the household hierarchy from moment one.

Eastwood

January 16th, 2016 at 1:26 PM ^

If you're fortunate enough to get paternity time, take it all. Help your wife with everything you can. Another poster mentioned nursing. There are health benefits and maternal bonding that occurs in this time but your wife may grow weary of feeding all hours of the day. We went through a few brands and models of pumps before we found the right one. It was the Medela Freestyle pump that seemed to be the one my wife liked best.

Enjoy the ride! The milestones are so awesome, the first teeth, the first time they crawl, stand, step, ride a bike....

mgoash

January 16th, 2016 at 3:43 PM ^

Agreed, a changing table is a huge help!  My father-in-law built a frame to fit a changing table pad and attached it to the top of the dresser we were going to use in the nursery.  So it does double duty and we kept diapers and wipes in one of the drawers in the early months when there aren't a ton of clothes to cram in there.  

chrisp981

January 16th, 2016 at 4:26 PM ^

The changing table is a must and the video monitor is awesome.  I get a kick out of watching my little guy sleep and seeing all the crazy positions he gets into.  It also comes in handy to help gauge if they really need something when they are crying in the middle of the night.  If he's still laying down sleeping I let him be, but if he's up and reaching for the door something's up.

weasel3216

January 16th, 2016 at 1:21 PM ^

I agree with this. I had twins so we changed them wherever he had space and the diaper trash can we used until we couldn't stand the smell when we opened it. It was death in a can. We also used a bottle warmer, it was a life saver for us. Not sure if that is common for those with one.

xtramelanin

January 16th, 2016 at 1:08 PM ^

back your wife and enjoy the pregnancy.  always thought my wife was the most beautiful preggers gal on the planet.

good first two books are: what to expect when you're expecting, followed by, what to expect the first year.  they're more for her, but you should read some of it too. 

if possible never ask your wife work away from your child(ren).  her love and nurture are worth more than any paycheck.  bypass debt if at all possible.

nursing is the best for baby, lots of studies show this.  added benefit, you don't come equiped with a dairy bar so other than retrieving junior at feeding time, you can go back to sleep.

Badkitty

January 16th, 2016 at 2:58 PM ^

I disagree, especially if you have girls, I think it's important that mom works so that they have a role model. That they can be financially independent. About 50% of marriages end up in divorce unfortunately. You don't want your daughter to be impoverished if her marriage doesn't work out. Or if her husband dies unexpectedly.

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rederik

January 16th, 2016 at 3:19 PM ^

I strongly disagree with your premise that a stay at home mom can't be a good role model for girls. It's arguably the most important job possible, and definitely one of the most noble (as it's not only extremely demanding but generally unappreciated by society in general), and those formative years mean the most to the kids. If you and your wife can afford it, you absolutely should consider it.

East German Judge

January 16th, 2016 at 1:11 PM ^

Enjoy this time together as yes, your life will change forever but in a wonderful way.  An excellent book for you both to read is "What to expect when you're expecting ".  Also, don't be surprised if your wife is even more amorous then normal,  and unless your doctor says otherwise, go for it with an EUTM.  Be very nice and pampering to your wife and enjoy this blessed time as yes, sleep will be at a premium in less than 8 months.

DetroitBlue

January 16th, 2016 at 1:12 PM ^

Congrats! We opened 529 and Uniform Transfer to Minors accounts for both of our kids when they were born and put some money into the 529 each month and the UTMA on occasion.
We didn't really take any classes so I don't have any advice there.
I'd say go out to a lot of dinners, movies, etc because you won't be able to do so regularly for a long time.
Lastly, if you decide you want a second child wait at least a year or 2 before you let that happen. My kids are 13 months apart and that's just too damn close. People keep telling me it'll get better soon, but I have yet to experience it.

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A Fan In Fargo

January 16th, 2016 at 1:18 PM ^

I can give starting out is to give me names, phone numbers and pictures of both of your female relatives. This includes sisters and cousins etc in the age vicinity of 27 to 35. From there we can move forward with ease and understanding. By having this information and possibly taking these women on dates I'll be better able to understand how to help you two out with your childhood planning. 

Edit, yeah that's creepy, just buy a nice crib with a 32" and dvd player mounted to it somehow. That should help out quite a bit later on. All I got.

HateSparty

January 16th, 2016 at 1:13 PM ^

Congrats! I've enjoyed four with my wife. Each one is unique and memorable. When you are confident and not worrying about jinxing anything, start a 529. College is a burden you all want to avoid. Read the books XM suggested. Good reads.

gsquared2123

January 16th, 2016 at 1:21 PM ^

SLEEP NOW!! These little wonderful creatures are time consuming. 

Also:

You can have the perfect birth plan, but in crunch time don't be surprised if the baby has other ideas. We had to have a c-section when my wife was planning on having a natural birth.  Thank God we did because the chord was wrapped 3 times around my daughters neck. She was perfectly fine but she wasn't coming vaginally or withoug drugs.

Try not to worry so much, people have been having kids for a long time and an idiot can figure out how to take care of a child (at least the basics).

Also, if you are going to do a 3-d ultrasound to see the baby make sure to ask where the placenta is at the first ultrasound.  We paid $120.00 only to find out that the placenta was in the way. 

 

MGoStretch

January 16th, 2016 at 1:29 PM ^

re: the birth plan.  I've seen many couples get so focused on the pristine birth plan, they've lost sight of what is ultimately important. That is, having a healthy baby.  They'll spend months and months fixating and stressing about the proper music, chants, water birth, whatever... but when push comes to shove, if the baby has a nuchal cord and needs to come out (or any other alternative plans) they need to come, whether or not the incense has been lit.

JHendo

January 16th, 2016 at 1:41 PM ^

My wife and I got a little more detailed this time around now that we have a little more experience, but for our first kid, our official birth plan was 4 words on the first page of the paper: Get. The. Baby. Out.

ChuckieWoodson

January 16th, 2016 at 1:18 PM ^

Congrats! My wife and I have 2, a 3yr old and a 3 month old. Really not much you can do prior to for prep, IMO. Best thing for baby and parents I think is establishing a routine once he/she arrives. Can be tough... But it's really helpful when naps and bedtime are at the same time (or as close to the same time) everyday.

As someone said above... Get your sleep in now!!