OT: Movie Lines (One Should Never Use in Bed)

Submitted by DoctorDave on January 18th, 2010 at 8:53 PM

At the risk of precipitating a full-scale meltdown of this site, the franchise must continue while there’s still dippity in the hippity. What we need are the movie lines which one absolutely does NOT want to say (or hear!) when, ehhh...the blood has begin to race, the sleeping bud has burst into bloom, and rich desire has unlocked it’s door:

1. Houston, we have a problem. (Apollo 13)
2. What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? (Kingpin)
3. You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. (Elizabethtown)
4. Riddle me this and riddle me that? Who’s afraid of the big bad bat? (Batman Returns)
5. You get your ass out there and you find that f----n’ dog! (Billy Madison)
6. I got these small hands. I got a little girl’s hands. (Raging Bull)
7. They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity. (The Incredibles)
8. Judge me by my size, you do. Do not. (The Empire Strikes Back)
9. I hate it when it does that. (Top Gun)
10. I’m gonna make you squeal like a pig, boy! (Deliverance)

Bonus (badness with extra cheese):

11. I am your father. (The Empire Strikes Back)


Nantucket Blue

January 18th, 2010 at 9:18 PM ^

(Sheila) "You found me attractive once."
(Ash) "Honey, you got real ugly."
(Ash - opening narrative) "But that didn't stop it. It came back big time. For God's sake, how do you stop it?"
(Ash) "This is my boomstick!" (I've used that one with the wife before)

(Ash) "Yo she-bitch, let's go"

"Come get some"

and many more...


January 18th, 2010 at 9:18 PM ^

"Oh, those girls are ten a penny. You've got so much more. You've got - you've got - a wonderful personality!"

(Black Widow Spider - Corpse Bride)

"Gives wax off a whole new meaning."

(Funny Balls of Fury)

"I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School."

(40 Year Old Virgin)


January 18th, 2010 at 9:21 PM ^

Weird thread, but +1 for the Phantom reference. Let's see....

"What the hell's gotten into you? My thing got stuck in my zipper and I got piss all over my pants."

"Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter."

Tommy Boy - a movie quote gold mine if ever there was one.


January 18th, 2010 at 9:26 PM ^

You've got a real purttty mouth (Deliverence)


Also 2,

(Video obviously NSFW)


January 18th, 2010 at 9:29 PM ^

"And boom goes the dynamite"
--(I guess it is a youtube video, so you could liberally construe it as a movie line)

"Okay. Hey, a couple of us guys were wonderin', uh if we'd go family-style on her. " -- Idiocracy

"It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again"
--Silence of the Lamb


January 18th, 2010 at 9:55 PM ^

"Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle!"
-Full Metal Jacket

"Time to die"

"Surrender Dorothy"
-The Wizard of Oz

EDIT: "That'll do pig, that'll do."


January 18th, 2010 at 10:13 PM ^

"Don't you want to feel that cozy little box grip down on your johnson?"

It doesn't sound that bad, but a few days after I saw Sideways my girl said that to me while fooling around. I started laughing for like 5 minutes because I was thinking of all the funny parts of that movie.

So it kind of ruined the moment.


January 18th, 2010 at 10:55 PM ^

You want the impossible. Luke Skywalker

Well, any f#@king time, sweetheart. Full Metal Jacket

If you can drink goat p!ss, you can f#$king drink
anything. Beerfest

I've run into a few limpdicks. Heartbreak Ridge

This doesn't mean we're going to take
long showers together. Heartbreak Ridge.

Bill Paxton - Have you ever been mistaken for a
Female Marine- No, have you? Aliens