OT: Looking for Premier League Team Identities

I've always cheered for the Blues since I've been a soccer fan, which admittedly is only about 3 years now.  I originally picked them because of Didier Drogba, who always seemed awesome to me and though he might be a little past his prime now, absolutely tore up the Premier League a couple seasons ago when Chelsea won the title.  It only takes a season to pick a team you like, but once you have its hard to root for anyone else.

Also they're the Blues, whereas ManU, Liverpool, and Arsenal are all red.

That being said, with Norwich now up in the Prem, I have to root for them to do well too.  Two of the funniest people I've ever met at U of M were brothers from Norwich who did an exchange year at Michigan.  So Norwich has a Michigan connection,  On the Ball, City!!

Sports fandom is an irrational, emotional experience.  You can't ask someone what team you should root for.  It just has to happen.

Don't pick Arsenal until Wenger is gone. Guy sells his two best players and I guarantee you he won't spend the funds on anyone who is anywhere near good enough to replace them. Liverpool are rebuilding. Chelsea, United and CIty are just too easy to choose.

I chose Fulham back in the day. At one point they had three or four Americans on their roster. Now they only have Clint Dempsey but he's arguably there best player. They've gone from relegation battles to top ten finishes over the last four seasons, as well.

Here you go.

Arsenal: A solid old football club not yet tainted by big money poured in from an outside owner like the rest of the scum toward the top of the league. They actually have their finances in order and tend to develop youngsters from a young age rather than offering godfather money to other teams.

Their manager is Arsene Wenger, a frenchman who is very particular in his beliefs about financial fairplay and the way the game should be played (on the ground, lots of technique, good passing). They won a bunch of trophies in the late 90s and early 2000s but have been on a drought since then, though they've been in the top 4 every year and been very close a couple times (a few cup finals, a CL final, very close to the league).

You will always have the moral highground with this team vs. the other big teams. They often send out a starting side for which they paid less in transfer fees than the bench of the opposing team (vs. big teams). They just moved into a big stadium they financed themselves and have almost paid off through financial prudence.

A lot of people complain about their attitude, Arsene especially, but I love them to pieces even if they've been breaking my heart since 2005. He tends to complain about finances a lot but that's just true.

Aston Villa: Owned by Randy Lerner, an American who owns the Browns. For a while they were one of the best mid-table clubs but they've fallen off the last year or two, especially when Martin O'Neill (manager) left. He made them better.

They tend to be a very direct team who plays down the flanks with their wingers and keeps it solid in the back, but that could be changing with the management change. The manager of their arch rivals, Birmingham City, moved to the club after Brum got relegated. The fans are not happy.

This is a club in transition.

Blackburn: A small town club with a recent history of success under Mark Hughes and then Big Sam Allardyce. They were recently bought by some Indians who wanted them to play more attractve football and so fired Allardyce for some new caretaker. I don't expect too much from them this year or in the near future. They used to be a bitch to play though.

This club also won the league in the 90s with Alan Shearer, a famous forward who scored a lot of goals for them and Newcastle where he retired.

Bolton: Another smaller town club with lots of success under Allardyce. He left them for Newcastle, a much bigger club historically, but that didn't really work out. Since he left they were eh for a while until they got Owen Coyle, who has them playing pretty attractive stuff. I see them on the bottom half of the table this year.

Chelsea: Fuck Chelsea. A small-time club from West London who got bought by a Russian billionaire. He poured a zillion dollars into the club, buying players for 30-50m (each) over his time there. He fires the manager every year they don't have a sensational season. Lots of good talent in the side and Lampard and Terry are homegrown, but in general I hate them. People in the States who are Chelsea fans make me sick.

Chelsea were the original "ok this is just silly money" side in terms of what they spend vs. what they earn (it's almost entirely outside money). Manchester City now makes them look small.

As an Arsenal fan I'm bitter with the way these pricks destroy the transfer market.

Everton: The other team in Liverpool. Wayne Rooney came up here before moving to Manchester United so he could win trophies. They have a very good manager in David Moyes who can have them be sneaky good year to year depending on injuries, which they can't absorb very well

Everton are a solid little side who traditionally keeps it tight at the back and counts on a creative midfield to push up and score around whoever the big striker of the season is. Tim Cahill and Arteta are some of their most exciting players. Tim Howard plays for Everton.

Fulham: A very nice London club owned by an Egyptian who owns Harrods. Usually a solid mid-table side. They have a history of having Americans in the side, including Brian McBride and Cliff Dempsey. Sometimes they sneak up into th Europa (second European cub) places.

Very few people really have a problem with Fulham. They've been in the prem for like a decade now.

Liverpool: I don't hate Liverpool on principal the way I dislike some other sides like Chelski. I just find their players very unlikable. Carragher used to be a bit of a c*nt, though I'm pretty sure he's gone now. Gerrard goes down easier than a truck stop whore but he still has a decent reputation in England for some reason. Also just looks a tosser. Suarez I think people are familiar with. The team's identity, in general, was for the last few years Gerrard and Fernando Torres, a big Spanish forward, leading the way. Torres got sold to Chelski last season to do f*ck-all for 50m and they used that money to buy a couple of good young forwads. They've gone on to spend some more money this summer and look to be an interesting team.

They're owned by the guy who owns the Red Sox. That's also a recent development. Liverpool as a club was an absolute behemoth in the 80s and still good in the 90s before tailing off for the past decade, though they did win some trophies including a memorable CL final.

Manchester City: Man City is tough because I used to like them in opposition to United and their fans have certainly been tortured enough over the years. They got bought by some UAE people who pump their money out of the ground and therefore have more money than they know what to do with and use it ridiculously liberally to assemble a team of mercenaries with a coach who used to coach Inter Milan. Arsenal have sold them a few players for more than they were worth. They generally pay way over the odds.

I hate them because they unsettle the transfer market and look to have lured a good Arsenal player to them by offering him silly wages. The team should be interesting as it gels over the season, though the way the team is structured means I don't really think they'll win it all (too defensive).

Manchester United: Man Utd have the best manager in the league if not the world and manage to run themselves very well and win freaking everything. They are also over-leveraged in a way that makes the credit crisis look like nothing and so if for some reason their revenue shrank by a bad season would be in the shit, but whatever. Before they got bought by the family that owns the Bucs they were in very nice shape financially and their problems are more to do with the Glazers than anything.

They're also the team with Rooney and blah blah blah damn it I hate them. Arsenal and Man Utd ran the 90s and early 2000s in the prem and those were exciting times. Now Man Utd has perhaps done a better job keeping up with the silly money being spent than Arsenal. Man Utd is also famous for the treatment they get from referees in their home stadium, yes I will say it, it's absurd. I believe they have the biggest stadium in the league at 70k+.

Newcastle: Newcastle is a traditionally big club owned by someone pinching their pennies and trying to get rid of them, though I believe he's a local lad. Newcastle is way up north and their fans are very dedicated. Playing at St. James is typically tough, especially in the winter months. The identity of the team now is a lot of steel in the midfield and not a whole lot of adventure in terms of attack.

Norwich City: Norwich are a bit of a yo-yo club who got promoted from the Championship last year. It's a nice club, but they'll always be struggling to stay up.

Queens Park Rangers: QPR just got promoted back in the Premiership this year after a long absence. They will also always struggle to stay up, though they have a good bit more history than Norwich if memory serves me right. They're a London club not far from Fulham.

Stoke: Stoke City have a drill seargent (I believe literally) of a manager who keeps them tight and physical. They look to score on set pieces including long throws. A tough side. They can bully most clubs outside of the big 4 on their day. Stoke itself is a working class town so this fits the identity pretty well.

They're gradually trying to go from decent success into a team fighting for Europa League spots.

Sunderland: The city of Sunderland is actually very big and so it's surprising how awful this side can sometimes be. Lately they've been promoted (a few years back) and have been decent. They're managed by an old defender for SAF at Man Utd. The black cats or mackems are a tricky side in that they really blow hot and cold. I couldn't even really tell you what their identity at the moment is to be honest.

Swansea: New to the prem. I believe they're Welsh which is unusual. I don't expect them to stay up.

Tottenham: Outside of the recent unrest there, I believe Totenham to be the scum of the earth. But then I'm an Arsenal fan (big North London rivalry there). Somewhat known as a side from a very Jewish area historicall and their fans are sometimes called "yids" or the "yid army" (just reporting) by their own as opposed to from opposing fans in insult. Lately they've been knocking on the door to be one of the big clubs along with Man City. The team has a lot of money and is well-managed in terms of using that money, though they want a new stadium.

Their manager is a real wheeler and dealer named Harry Redknapp. He's coached a great many clubs through the years. They're pretty stacked in the midfield and have a great young Welsh player named Bale who's quite exciting. I can see why Simmons chose them.

I still hate them.

West Brom: A team that got promoted last season and managed to stay up but just. They're a bit of a yo-yo club like Norwich. Nice little club but it's always going to be a scrap for them to stay in the league.

Wigan: Wigan is traditionally a rugby town but their footie side has been up and down in recent years. They're managed by a Spaniard who actually tries to get them to play attractive stuff, with some success. They just stayed up last season and they're another side that will always be struggling from a talent perspective.

Wolves: Another up and down club that managed to stay up last year. A bit of a charming side historically but a tough one to be a fan of as they'll get thrashed a few times a year.

Like I said that was prejudiced but there you go. I figure that's probably a pretty thorough answer.

I agree with previous posts basically saying, you can't just choose a squad, otherwise it'll never stick. A team has to speak to you. I became a Michigan fan in '92 (when I was 8) because of the Rose Bowl and the Fab Five, and then saw the '95 UVA game with Mercury Hayes TD catch and I was hooked.

Gotta start watching some Premier League games and hopefully a club speaks to me.