OT- Help the Blockhams by Sharing your Favorite/Best/Worst Sparty Stereotypes

Submitted by Six Zero on May 3rd, 2012 at 8:15 AM

For those of you following along with The Blockhams, there's been some recent discussion about how the Blockhams lil bro Bump has broken away from being a simple Sparty cliche.

BUT... later today readers will see the MSU ribbing taken down an unexpected path in today's Blockhams strip, one that will continue into and conclude in next week's strips.

I have my own favorites when it comes to stories about Sparty fans and the things only they are capable of... but I thought it might be fun and interesting to hear from the MGoCommunity:

What are you favorite Sparty cliches?  What stereotypes ring most true?  Or which ones are just too bizarre to be anything but true?

The best ideas might be utilized in next week's Blockhams comics... and certainly it might be a fun thread to read on a quiet Thursday. Thanks everyone, and GO BLUE!


Today's post is now live... and now you can all possibly see where all this is going.  Stay tuned for next week's unforgettable edition of...

And also, thanks for the responses this morning.
I am inspired.



May 3rd, 2012 at 8:36 AM ^

Inferiority complex, poor memory (night by night, as well as anything that happened before 2008 that's not bball related), can't hold their liquor, unable to express feelings of discontent in any way other than throwing or breaking things, and finally little to no knowledge of the sports that they are a spectator to.


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:39 AM ^

There is always the Napoleon Complex and the apparent violent aversion to upholstered furniture, of course, but also what I would call a " provincial" knowledge of their conference (I.e., they tend to know little meaningful information about other teams) and an annoying ability to rationalize the aberrant behavior of players.

They will often do they most inconsequential things to spite Michigan on the chance that anyone in Ann Arbor actually cares, up to and apparently including offering scholarships to our walk-on long snappers.


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:39 AM ^

Might have even been to E. Lansing. Out of the Frying pan....  

If so it would be BiEL....which might get confusing with Jessica.   But in any regard, we can all agree he's just a BIG FRAUD! South Bend my ass!


May 3rd, 2012 at 12:33 PM ^

Maybe this is BiSB-

(Is this safe enough for Mrs. Kass?)

Because you gave me a much more horrible mental image...


And yes, I knew, and agreed, that there shouldn't be a name change. Not if you haven't completely embarrassed yourself and are trying to get a new start.  Or if it's just really not timely anymore, like if you went with "RichRodwillCoachatMichiganfor30Years" or something. (A lot of things seem like a good idea at the time).


May 3rd, 2012 at 8:54 AM ^

A guy went into an East Lansing store and told the clerk "I'd like a green outfit: I want a green jacket and green slacks. I want a green shirt and green tie. I want green shoes and socks."

The clerk asks "Are you a Michigan State graduate?", and the guy responds "Yes, I am. How did you know?"

The clerk said "Because this is a hardware store."


May 3rd, 2012 at 8:55 AM ^

Creepy. Terrible grammar. Small vocabulary. Smell bad. Selective memory. Thugs. Violence prone. No self-respect. Fry cooks.


May 3rd, 2012 at 8:56 AM ^

I chose to attend MSU because it is awesomer....

Dantonio is the classiest coach in the BIG....

Bro's go to MSU. The homepage of all MSU computers must be brobible.com.

MSU is the second best university or college in the state.




May 3rd, 2012 at 9:04 AM ^

Michigan losing builds their psyche and outlook on life at least as much as MSU winning anything.  "Ann Arbor is a Whore."  The James Madison political science program is renowned worldwide (vs. reality of unknown outside East Lansing).  Obsession with their mascot.  The only reason Michigan has a better reputation is historical, bias of elites. 

Really - it's the entire "We're just as good as Michigan, who cares about them" strain - evidencing obsession while trying to deny it.  That lack of self-awareness permeates the rest.


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:06 AM ^

would rather see Michigan lose a game to an opponent, even when a Michigan win would help State in pursuit of a Championship. "I just can't root for scUM..."

ND Sux

May 3rd, 2012 at 9:17 AM ^

My ex in-laws are HUGE Sparty fans, grads, supporters.  The whole family graduated there and are successful, good people.  They have a friendly rivalry with a Michigan family...they go to the game every year together, bet on it, and there are a lot of pranks along the way. 

Many years ago, there was one such prank that I still find hilarious.  The night before the big game, the M grad built a simple chicken wire cage, spray painted 11 chickens green, and put them on my father-in-law's lawn.  Now that's some funny shit, waking up to 11 green chickens on game day. 

Frito Bandito

May 3rd, 2012 at 9:23 AM ^

They care more about Michigan losing than their team winning. They brag about how dominant they've been lately (best in their history) and still haven't won a bcs game. The overall series record doesn't matter because it was "100 years ago". They gave Michigan their wings. Have the best mascot in the worrrrld. Smoke green snort white. Concrete stadium with trash swirling on the field. Stanton for Heisman.


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:29 AM ^

The ultra-successful "jumpsuit orange to Sparty green" program.  The possibility of a satellite campus on Cooper Street in Jackson.  


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:32 AM ^

Blast non-alumni Michigan fans as "Walverine", "scUM", "Walmart Wolverine" and wonder why the Michigan population feels more welcome to give alliegence to UM over Sparty (37% to 31%).


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:42 AM ^

Their entire identity is based on comparing themselves to Michigan in every facet, which is pathetic.

My other pet peeve... comparing football programs isn't fair because MSU wasn't MSU until the 40's (or whenever), so anything before that (MAC years) doesn't count, and therefore MSU football is as good orbetter than Michigan football.  Said another way, tradition doesn't really mean anything because we've beat Michigan the last 4 years in a row.


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:48 AM ^



Because my best memories of MSU fans are 1990, and 2001, which has told me that Spartans are proud to cheat and win.

On a side note, I don't know how embarrassed I should be that I recognized Bump's shirt in today's strip as based on a real shirt design. I think they used to sell it at Hot Topics or whatever the equivalent over at Briarwood is/was.


May 3rd, 2012 at 9:55 AM ^

You know my feelings on Chalmers. I want him to be a sympathetic character, not an object of ridicule. There are plenty of Spartan fans who have always loved MSU and ate proud of their school, but Chalmers is from the subsection who grew up Michigan fans until they didn't get in. He is an apostate, with a bunker mentality. He should never ever surrender a single point on Michigan, and be more focused in denigrating M when he is around his family. The rest of the Blockhams should be super-kind to him and let him do all of yelling and acerbic comments. As you've written him so far he is nothing but a willing patsy for Michigan bullying. I hate this character as he has appeared so far. He is everything Michigan State fans are not, and his main effect is to make the Michigan fans in his family look like assholes.

Six Zero

May 3rd, 2012 at 10:03 AM ^

to be nice to Bump, really I have.  I just can't help myself.  Actually I do like the phrase you suggested-- he is very much a "willing patsy."

I can promise you some closure, and perhaps a little change, next week.  After the heckles die down, of course.

Wisconsin Wolverine

May 3rd, 2012 at 10:25 AM ^

I think you do a fine job of being playful enough in your teasing of Bump ... the fact that the family is actually going to don the green & white, plus the teaser logo you created, show more than the expected level of respect for our in-state neighbors.  I think you're striking the perfect balance between telling a narrative that fans of both schools can relate to & enjoy but also keeping the proper Michigan spin on it :)


May 3rd, 2012 at 12:20 PM ^

Here's my 2 cents on Bump: first, his job. If he actually finished his MSU degree and isn't a habitual substance abuser, he would probably have a better job than pizza delivery under normal conditions. MSU trains most of the state's teachers as it is. I would make him a low-performing substitute teacher who was laid off due to budget cuts a few years ago and is only delivering pizza in Ann Arbor (a recession-proof job if one ever existed) until things pick up some. Second, I would agree that he should take more digs at UM. The point of the series seems to be to poke fun at both UM and MSU and as such the token Sparty should be able to give (almost) as good as he gets.


May 4th, 2012 at 10:52 AM ^

Bump is currently trying his best to make it despite being in a family full of assholes who hate him. He's the only character with faults and insecurities, which makes him the most human and sympathetic character. He seems like the only one capable of interests outside of sports--the comic books and Magic cards make him a veritable Renaissance man compared to the rest of his petty, one-track family. Plus, he's the most visually interesting, and he really stands out as a shock of green and ginger against a sea of maize and blue.

Intended or not, Bump is becoming the tragic hero of The Blockhams.


May 3rd, 2012 at 10:22 AM ^

That the staters are at state because they didn't get into Michigan. Their "allegiance" to MSU is really just built up anger against Michigan. No one grows up saying I want to settle, 2nd place is good enough for me.

I also like to believe that dantonio recruits from the state pen.

Wisconsin Wolverine

May 3rd, 2012 at 10:34 AM ^

Sparty feels like they more truly represent the state of Michigan.  They view Michigan's diverse student body & national draw as a departure from "Pure Michigan."  They interpret their own limited, local, academically less-ambitious roots as more "loyal" & "deserving."  This is, of course, where they get "Wal-Mart Wolverine" from - the product of a thinly-veiled streak of jealousy infused with underdog pride & alliteration (truly, the upper limit of Sparty creativity).  That's all there is to say about that.