OT Hell explained
HELL EXPLAINED
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
November 14th, 2009 at 4:38 PM ^
This person is my hero
November 14th, 2009 at 4:40 PM ^
Also, completely fabricated
http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
/thread
November 14th, 2009 at 4:56 PM ^
Snopes loves destroying chain emails and the 45 year old housewives that send them from their AOL accounts.
November 14th, 2009 at 5:12 PM ^
I was able to stop getting about 50 chain emails a day because I always referred to the site and said not true to just about everything. It's a great tool to use to stop junk emails.
November 14th, 2009 at 4:40 PM ^
But, no mention of how much booze Theresa had to be pried with--so hell might not be frozen over due to a rip in the space time continuum that mega amounts of alcohol is known to create.
I speak as an expert on the subject of how copious amounts of booze can alter a woman's judgment.
November 14th, 2009 at 4:41 PM ^
Coincidence?
(dammit, I talked about MGoPoints...)
November 14th, 2009 at 5:20 PM ^
And I liked it!
November 14th, 2009 at 4:43 PM ^
Fantastic.
EDIT: ^^^ Whoa.
November 14th, 2009 at 5:08 PM ^
Its like I'm really in my high school chemistry class wooooo.
November 14th, 2009 at 5:10 PM ^
Don't care if it is fake or not. it is awesome.