OT: Happy Festivus 2018!

Submitted by Michigan Arrogance on December 23rd, 2018 at 6:15 AM

I got a lot of problems with you people! 


Here are my plans for the day:

  • raising of the Festivus Pole this morning
  • Donation to the Human Fund*
  • Traditional Festivus dinner: leftover meatloaf
  • My personal favorite part of Festivus: The Airing of Grievances
  • Finally, the Feats of Strength - this year perhaps a one arm push up contest as there is no snow to shovel.

Have a Happy Festivus for the rest of us!


* A wonderful non-profit that efficiently raises money for people


Goggles Paisano

December 23rd, 2018 at 6:33 AM ^

Ah Yes!  Happy Festivus everyone.  Let's reflect on the true meaning of my favorite part of Festivus:

The celebration of Festivus begins with Airing of Grievances, which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served.

Frank Costanza: At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!

Each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.

Frank Costanza: Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

scanner blue

December 23rd, 2018 at 8:24 AM ^

I'll air my grievance... and it's with Brian. I was banned on Ann Arbor primary election night at about 11:50. Brian chose to do a political write-up a few days before endorsing candidates for mayor, city counsel and U of M regents. The fine citizens of the Peoples Republic of Ann Arbor did not agree with him. He went 2-5---ooof!

I decided to write a brief tongue in cheek UFR of his performance. While not nearly as well written as a post by Mr. Cook, I don't think it was ban-worthy. Delete it and send me a snarky email, maybe. A quick check of my posting history would reveal pretty inocuous stuff ( I was one of the first to misspell Ruddock after watching him at a closed practice --  no names on jersies and no roster had been released, in my defense). I am sure a few dozen people saw my inappropriateness before it was removed on a very slow, late Tuesday.

I was relegated to the pit of despair with the likes of Maizen, Bluey and Ghost's of everybody for two weeks before Seth came back from vacation (emailing Brian did nothing) and reinstated me. My Festivus words of wisdom ... sometimes it is better to stop drinking (Two Hearted) and go to bed. Go Blue!


December 23rd, 2018 at 8:33 AM ^

As painful as it would be to look at, I can't help but be curious about a UFR for Ohio state.  Is Brian committed to completely forgetting that game?


December 23rd, 2018 at 10:26 AM ^

Yeah, a comment I made in another thread:

If I could make one request of Brian it would be to UFR just the third quarter of the Ohio State game.

It was the inflection point between what could have been an amazing win, and what turned out to be a humiliating loss.

To set the stage:  

Michigan played poorly on both offense and defense in the first half.  We could not stop Ohio State - they got 24 points and I don't think they punted once - while our own offense could only muster a single TD and two FGs.

But then we got lucky.  OSU turned the ball over on a kickoff inside the 10 yard line.  We got a short TD off of it.  We're down 2.  Unfortunately, Ohio State marches right down the field in 41 seconds, but at least we hold them to a FG.

So, we entered the second half down 5 with still a chance to win despite how poorly we played.

Ohio State gets the ball to open the second half and our defense finally gets an elusive stop.

Game reset!  

It's a new game now, but it's clear that defensive stops are going to be precious.  If we win, it's going to have to be in a Big 12-style shootout where one stop, or a TD traded for a FG, is going to be the difference. 

The Michigan offense is going to have to open it up in the third quarter and put up points to keep pace.  It's our only shot.

Final result:  Zero third quarter points. 

Game over.   

WTF happened?

I'd like to see that UFR. 


December 23rd, 2018 at 8:33 AM ^

Grievances? An abbreviated list...

Well, let's start with a minor incident from last night - read the message board first before you post something which you're sure is noteworthy, damnit. More than likely, you're going to lose the "First to break this news" contest anyway. 

In threads which admittedly skirt the lines between certain topics yet are sports-related and interesting, I find myself expecting the wheels to come off rather than expecting lively discussion. To that end, I would like to ask some of you to continue to do what you do, and some of you to grow the fuck up.

Inevitably, Michigan basketball might drop a game, and there will be one person who instantly goes to doom and gloom because they place inordinate value on things which didn't happen to them personally. That person should probably save time and just stop posting now. 

I don't follow recruiting all that closely, so this one is merely observational - a fair number of the people who do follow recruiting to some micro level make me not want to follow recruiting any closer than I do. Yikes.

Some of you post things in the football open threads that make me want to throttle you actually, and if I ever find out that you sit near me in the stadium, I will do what I can (which is undoubtedly not much) to change my seat.

I could go on, but I already feel a little better. Now, I shall go make my donation to the Human Fund. 


December 23rd, 2018 at 8:57 AM ^

I have a grievance with grievances in general.  Pinning dissapointment on other people is an abdication of your own agency.  In the words of LSA, ‘Grow the fuck up!”.

We are back

December 23rd, 2018 at 8:59 AM ^

I have a lot of problems with the board this year, mostly the maizens type posters, who complain time and time again about recruiting.

The ceiling this season for every poster was 8-4 with a loss to OSU, but some how 10-2 with a loss to OSU wasn’t good enough!

The love of Jedd fisch? His offense had great playmakers and yet some how this 2018 Michigan team averaged more YPG then either Fisch offenses, yes last season sucked but you have to look at who Michigan had at the playmaker positions. Could they be doing more on offense? They sure can but Jedd wasn’t an innovator himself.

The guys who will blame Pep but won’t even mention don brown and the defensive staff that was completely out coached vs OSU. 

Happy festivus!!




December 23rd, 2018 at 9:02 AM ^

Half the people here are either complete lunatics or MSU/OSU trolls. I am not sure which prospect is more concerning.

On the other end of the spectrum, I was amazed by how nonchalantly this blog moved to a position of arrogance and even condescension at the slightest hint of the Michigan football team being good. Lets not forget a Punt/Counterpunt segment which usually featured a contest of two writers trying to find the most whimsical and incoherent way of predicting a Michigan win. Maybe the dichotomy of BPONE in the face of adversity and the assumption of permanent dominance after successes is just a bit toxic? 


Broken Brilliance

December 23rd, 2018 at 9:23 AM ^

My grievance for the board at large...

Quit pushing your anti-NFL agenda. So annoying. Now root for me to win my two fantasy matches this afternoon.

Hopefully those of you still sore about the OSU game sack up and attack 2019 aggressively and enthusiastically

It should be acceptable to understand why football players sit out bowl games when healthy but also look more fondly upon those who play.

I reserve the right to post more later.



December 23rd, 2018 at 9:41 AM ^

In the spirt of this great holiday, here’s my list of grievances:

1. Stop shitting on Pep. Yes, the offense didn’t score 88 points against OSU, but we have a top 25 offense, and that is with a pair of tackles who were projected to be a dumpster fire before the season and REALLY young WR. 

2. Damn it Jim, I know that we don’t have as much talent or depth as OSU, but 0-4?!?!  Gotta start evening out this rivalry. 

3. Bagmen. I don’t care thst “everyone breaks the rules to some extent.”  What Tennessee, Georgia, Bama, Clemson and, yes, OSU, do is so over the top that it is ruining the sport. 

4. Related to #3, come on NCAA - grow some balls and do something. 

5. Players sitting out the bowl games. I get the financial reasons, but I don’t like it. Buy a good insurance policy and be a good teammate, especially since we are still playing in a NY6 bowl and the outcome could impact the direction of the program. I understand the rationale, and I am not trashing anyone - everyone’s situation is different - but I will always have a special place in my fandom for those who put the team, the team, the team above their individual situations.

6. The whole playoff / bowl system. #5 above is the direct result of the bowls having no meaning. Expand the playoffs and eliminate these silly exhibitions. 


December 23rd, 2018 at 10:35 AM ^

Stop bitching about Maryland and Rutgers.  They help our recruiting a lot in a the talent-rich areas of NJ and DC/MD/VA.

Ryan Day won't be able to recruit as nationally as Urban Meyer did.  So he's going to wall off Ohio more, like Tressel did. 

So we'll need more, not less, recruiting pipeline areas.

Plus a resurgent Maryland drains some talent away from Penn State who has no significant local recruiting competition otherwise.

True Blue 9

December 23rd, 2018 at 11:12 AM ^

^^^^ totally this! I am so over the shitting on Rutgers and Maryland. Yes they mostly stink at football but I think they actually (in particular with Maryland) bring some interesting challenges in hoops. They also typically have very, very good women's hoops teams. And as you mention, it's also made for some stronger recruiting with the extended footprint. 

Quit bitting about Rutgers and Maryland because they aren't going anywhere.