OT: In this episode, Ninja almost goes to The Big House in the sky.....

Submitted by Ninja Football on

Ok, let's get real, I'm probably going down not up when my time comes, but um, yeah- I just almost died. 

I was cooking a steak for lunch, took it off the grill and inside, stopped in the kitchen to grab something to drink and it looked so tasty I decided to cut off a piece and take a bite.  That's when the fun started. Said piece of tasty cow got pretty firmly lodged into the back of my throat.  My roommates are out of town for a wedding, and I'm pretty sure Nuverre's cat and my plant don't know the the Heimlich, so for a few seconds (20? 30?) I was standing over the sink trying to dislodge this thing and give myself the fucking Heimlich. 

So it's not working, and I'm trying to stay calm when I finally decide I'm gonna die right there if I don't get help so I sprint outside to the neighbors.  I'm halfway across their lawn when I realize they aren't home (no cars in the driveway) turn to look and there's ONE house with a car in the drieveway out of like the 5 nearest to me.  At this point shit is starting to get REAL bad, like I might not make it across the street bad, and I just stopped and tried to throw up and did the self heimlich again and it finally dislodged. 

If any of my neighbors are home and saw me run out of the house they probably think I'm nuts, but screw them- at least I'm alive.  And 20 minutes later I'm shaking so bad I can almost hardly type.  All I have to say is, that better be a damn good steak.  And holy crap does my knee hurt now.

Ninja Football

August 10th, 2008 at 2:35 PM ^

Yeah. Wow. Never had anything like that happen before. I was even fumbling with the flocks on the front door and shit, just thinking "No way. Like no fucking way this happens." Jesus.

Ninja Football

August 10th, 2008 at 3:19 PM ^

Oh Jeebus. It's like an hour later and I'm still just like "Holy shit." And yes. I grabbed a beer and will definitely be cracking a bottle of wine here in a few.

Colin, if you "preview" you can adjust the line breaks from there.  Hopefully that gets fixed soon.

And Chitown, "Happy you're not dead" is the sweetest thing anyone's said to me all week.

Dess

August 13th, 2008 at 8:57 PM ^

I also am happy you're not dead.

If you're in michigan you don't need a membership to Costco (I know many other states are like this too) to purchase alcohol. I get all my wine, liquor and beer at costco unless its weird unusual stuff.

 A quick google produced this:

"BJ's Wholesale Club
Membership is not required for purchases of alcohol in the following states: Arizona, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Indiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Texas and Vermont. Selection varies by store. (Some carry liquor, beer and wine, while others have only beer and wine. Some carry no alcohol at all.)

Costco Wholesale
Membership is not required for purchases of alcohol in the following states: Arizona, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Indiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Texas and Vermont. Selection varies by store. (Some carry liquor, beer and wine, while others have only beer and wine. Yet others carry no alcohol at all.) Costco.com carries wine and champagne. Due to shipping restrictions, orders can only be delivered to California, Idaho, Illinois, New Mexico, Oregon and West Virginia.

Sam's Club
Membership is not required for purchases of alcohol. Selection varies by store. (Some carry liquor, beer and wine, while others have only beer and wine. Some carry no alcohol at all.)

Examples of Savings:
Absolute Vodka, 1-liter bottle: $27.99 at mainstream retailer, $20.99 at Sam's (save $7.00 = 25% savings).
Absolut Vodka, 1.75-liter bottle: $45.99 at mainstream retailer, $31.09 at Sams (save $14.90 = 32% savings).
Sam Adams, 24-pack of 12-oz. bottles: $29.99 at mainstream retailer, $23.54 at Sam's ($6.45 savings = 22% savings)

Now, these policies are far from common knowledge. (Trust us — in our search for details, we called everyone from the Distilled Spirits Council to the American Bar Association and the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau. No one had heard of them.) Avoiding the fee may take some fancy footwork:

Stick to alcohol
. This membership fee loophole only applies to alcohol. So don't push your luck by loading your cart up with other items. If you do, expect to pony up that nonmember fee. "

 And Ninja... don't die. If you're in the SE michigan area sometime I'll buy you a beer.

Blue Durham

August 13th, 2008 at 11:09 PM ^

Can't comment about other states, but according to my wife Costco here in North Carolina must allow puchases of wine without membership. 

Also, for most states, you do NOT need a membership to puchase drugs (the legal type).  Just inquire at the door.

Ninja Football

August 10th, 2008 at 3:39 PM ^

ANY wine goes with tracheal steak. I just put a bottle of Three Buck Cuck cab in the refrigerator to chill a bit though. Unfortunately I don't have a bottle of Silver Oak to crack open, or you can bet your ass that'd be on the agenda. Everything else I have on hand I haven't tried yet, and the Chuck will do.

 OC, I'm thinking of becoming a "Watermelonian".  After all, what are the chances you could choke to death on watermelon?

Blue Durham

August 10th, 2008 at 3:44 PM ^

If you lived down here I would give you the key to my cellar, a cork screw and glass (I've got some Silver Oak and the like)!  Three buck chuck aint bad, and I was surprised the sauvignon blanc is decent as well (didn't like the chard).  

I love great values, and the best I've had in a long, long time is the Vino Verde they have there.  The stuff is great, a little low in alcohol (9%) and has a little spritz to it - a great summer white, and at only $3.99 a bottle it is a steal.  I confess, I bought several cases of it in May.

Ninja Football

August 10th, 2008 at 4:05 PM ^

Yeah I just snagged a case of the Cab, but haven't tried the Sauv. because I didn't really care for the Chard either. Plus I'm more of a red guy, even in the summertime. I'll check out the Vino Verde- for as often as I drink it I'm not in position to be spending much on the everyday bottles.

Blue Durham

August 10th, 2008 at 4:20 PM ^

With inflation and the dollar the way it is, there are few who can afford the $20 bottles.  Hey, if I can drink well for $5-10 I damn well do it.

If you have a Costco in your area, many of their own Kirkland labled wines are really good for the money.  Their Sonoma chard is great at $8.  Right now (it is 5 o'clock somewhere) I am drinking their Napa Meritage (mostly cab).  It is very good, nice sweet vanilla oak on the nose, very good fruit and acid balance; $10.  My wife and I are having steak tonight so I opened it.  Hope we don't have the difficulty you had this afternoon!

Ninja Football

August 10th, 2008 at 4:35 PM ^

Chew carefully my friend! And thanks for the tips- we've got a Costco not too far and I was talking to the girls about getting a membership for the essentials: paper towels, TP, and of course wine would have to be included on that list. Holy crap- Jacobson just hit a hole in one!

Blue Durham

August 10th, 2008 at 6:51 PM ^

Thanks Ninja, will do.  My wife and I used to belong to Sams, and when Costco came to town I was hesitant - why buy a second membership and I was OK with Sams and the grocery stores.  After having their prepared foods, cheeses, wines and meats, I never went back to Sams and now rarely go to the supermarkets.  I even buy tools and tires at Costco!  We definitely save a lot of money by shopping there.

Jacobson?  I'm watching the PGA - isn't he on the Sr. circuit?

Farnn

August 10th, 2008 at 4:39 PM ^

I have to second the vinho verde. Awesome summer wine at a great price. I think it may have gone up to $4.99 though, at least I think that was the price the last time I was at the AA Trader Joes.

Ninja Football

August 10th, 2008 at 9:16 PM ^

Jacobson, but Swedish or something- not pronounced like it looks. Speaking of which- I went out to the course Friday and never realized Phil was as big as he is. Put some shoulder pads on that dude and he could play linebacker.

Tim Waymen

August 11th, 2008 at 10:05 AM ^

Just don't tell me you're becoming a vegetarian now. I'm glad you're okay man.

For future reference, I think that it is possible to contact 911 online...and I just found that you can't. I just googled 911 and I got wikipedia's page for 9/11 and some link to some truth-9/11 conspiracy theory site. Apparently the Israelis did it. And they have evidence presented by a stoned Marquette student as well as Mel Gibson's own father! Who knew? 

mjv

August 11th, 2008 at 10:39 AM ^

Glad to know that your flirtation with death was nothing more than that. The trail of this post reminds me of the Wall Street Journal. Starts with something serious (news, world events, politics, business, Ninja's near death experience, etc.) and wraps up with a wine review.

Ninja Football

August 11th, 2008 at 1:01 PM ^

No, definitely not becoming a vegetarian. I promptly enjoyed that steak after calming down a bit. It was like "Ninja vs The Killer Steak" - it took the first round and then I just destroyed it. Yeah mj- kinda a weird arch to the thread. Once I realized I wasn't going to die my knee started hurting like hell (figured if I could get out of the house at least I'd collapse on the lawn/in the street instead of inside where no one would be for 3-4 hours) so that's why I decided to sit down and log on.

ameed

August 11th, 2008 at 1:35 PM ^

When I was about 10 years old I choked on an Atomic Fireball (the Cinnamon flavored round hard candy).

I went ahead and performed the Heimlich on myself since there was no one around...going to the bathroom sink and jamming myself up against the edge (which is what they taught me in boy scouts - to find a chair or some blunt object to force into your chest/stomach)

Needless to say, I have never eaten one of those candies since. But steak is steak and no trauma would cause me to give that up.

Ninja Football

August 13th, 2008 at 9:22 PM ^

Dess you are officially my hero.  Although sometimes those prices REALLY make me miss the island.  750 ml of Stoli = $7.99, 750 of Cruzan rum, any flavor, $3.99.  It's a wonder I didn't die down there!

SE Michigan? Dude, I live in the Royal Oak/Ferndale area.  Are you more SE than that?

Dess

August 14th, 2008 at 2:39 AM ^

Found a bit more info that helps

You can but alcohol at Costco without a Costco Membership. Most Costco employees don't know about it either or play stupid as they do not want it word to spread.

Things to know-

-You must get what is called a temporary alcohol shopping pass at the member services desk when you walk in
-You can buy alcohol and alcohol only
-You can only pay with cash
-Pass is valid for one day (you can keep getting them over and over again)
-Some employees will deny it exists but if you argue long and hard and ask to speak to their supervisor or their supervisor's supervisor, they'll give in.
-There is no mark-up simply because you do not have a Costco Membership - you'll pay the same as if you did have a membership.
-I believe the same rules/regulations apply to the pharmacy as well, but don't quote me since I haven't tried yet.

http://images.yelp.com/photo/baTjTNLzDjn4ZCiBQQIJ8Q/l

this is another random thing on google.

 

I just moved to Northville from Ann Arbor, hit me up