OT: Cool Story Bro!

Submitted by boliver46 on June 14th, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I commonly see the comment "Cool Story Bro" when someone relates something to the board that seems like an ego boost, or an attempt to show how awesome they are.  The comment is usually meant in a derogatory or belittling manner like "Yeah, we know you met Charles Woodson once, but STFU about it!"

But here's your opportunity to relate your stories with (hopefully) less judgement and ridicule.

One of my "Cool Story Bro" moments:

Rather than accept offers from lower tier football programs in DII or DIII, I decided to try my luck and walk-on at the Division 1 University of Toledo.  It's amazing the difference between the treatment scholarship players receive vs. the "cannon fodder" that are the walk-ons.  Free tutoring, free meals, priority class scheduling, priority medical treatment, and so on...but that's the price of being a walk-on - and one I paid gladly for the opportunity to keep playing at a high level.

My reward came in the form of a "Cool Story Bro" moment during walk-through form tackling drills in helmets, jerseys, & shorts.  Basically you're just supposed to wrap up the person across from you, ensuring good tackling form - and sometimes lift up and carry for a couple yards as if you're driving through them.

I had the good fortune to be across from the future 11th pick in the 1993 Draft by the Denver Broncos, Dan Williams.  Dan was a 6'4" 290lb. DE behemoth - faster than any man his size had any right to be - and strong as hell.  He was also notorious (or is it infamous?) as someone who practiced like he played - 100% all the time.  So, after a few reps from my side, it was HIS turn.  All I remember is being wrapped up, lifted off the ground, and slammed to the then astroturf of the Glass Bowl (which has since been renovated with FieldTurf).  I was driven into the astroturf and skidded along the surface - dragging along the ground and leaving a fair amount of skin behind.  I had turf rash on my back!   Dazed and confused and in pain, I still gave Dan an attaboy (hoping to sway him into NOT killing me the next time!).

I only lasted one year in the program as I could see the writing on the wall that my future was NOT in football - but I somehow fondly look back on that memory of being slammed to the turf by the 11th player taken in the 1993 Draft.

COOL STORY BRO!!!!  What's yours?




**EDIT** Interesting how many down votes there are - yet a helluva lot of good "Cool Story Bro" stories added.  Must be alot of people without cool stories.



June 14th, 2013 at 1:46 PM ^

I won this contest once to sing the National Anthem at Busch Stadium for a Cards game. I was 7 years old so it was a pretty big deal. I got to meet John Mabry. Got my picture taken and my mit signed.  I was bummed out becase it was supposed to be a "surprise" player who we got to meet, and it was Ozzie Smith day at the ball park, so I was pretty sure we were gonna meet Ozzie Smith. No dice though. John Mabry is a loser. 

Eastside Maize

June 14th, 2013 at 1:49 PM ^

On my senior trip we went on a Black college tour by bus through Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia and Florida. After touring FAMU we had the option of going to Disneyworld or Universal Studios. We chose Universal and while there I met Warren Sapp and got his autograph. He had a GORGEOUS lady on his arm.

Doc Brown

June 14th, 2013 at 2:00 PM ^

I was in Chicago for a Cubs/Cardinals game. Well the game was rained out, so we went over to Harry Carey's for dinner and drinks. About two minutes after we ordered our food, the manager comes by our table and asks us if we could move downstairs. We were seated in the VIP section on the 2nd floor as it was the only open area of the resturant after the rainout. The next thing we know the entire Cardinals pitching staff comes up. We ended up getting free drinks after they kicked us out. 

So yeah Cool Story

We Do Not Sow

June 14th, 2013 at 2:08 PM ^

I had the pleasure of playing against OLSM in 2000. Their team was completely stacked and had several future college/pro players: Anthony Sherrell, Charles Davis, Grant Mason, and Morgan Trent.

During the game, in which we were of course getting curb stomped, the future Michigan DB Morgan Trent picked off my QB. Since I was abused most of the game by the 6-6 280lb future Stanford Cardinal DE in front of me, I was pretty happy to see a little guy intercept the ball, thus giving me a shot at a blindside tackle on someone. Yeah, well that dude is fast, and it turns out strong. I dove at him and he stiff-armed me into the turf on the way to an easy TD return.

When a freshman DB can do that to a senior OL, you know you're pretty much not gonna make it in college football lol.

Son of Lloyd Brady

June 14th, 2013 at 2:12 PM ^

I was at the Cowboy Classic with my friend and his family (Dad was QB @ UM in the 70's), and on the elevator to the welcome dinner what looks to be a body builder gets on and starts talking to my friend and I. Asked us if we played any sports at UM (more out of courtesy, the answer is obvious looking at us), but we could tell he obviously had. After we got off the elevator I informed my friend that he was Jarrett Irons. Afterwards at the Welcome Dinner I talked with my friend's Dad's teammates from the 70's and just missed talking to Dave Brandon (also on friend's Dad's team).


June 14th, 2013 at 2:15 PM ^

My good friend Scott Hanson (host of NFL Red Zone and big UM fan) and I went to the Sugar Bowl last year together and got into a barroom brawl within my first 2 hours on Bourbon Street because Scotty's way of giving me a tour was having me sample 3 Grenades, 1 Hurricane, and some other insane, stable Bourbon Street drink.  I was so plowed I ended up with an eye sealed shut, but made the game the next night anyway.  Would’ve been a cooler bro story had Scotty took one to the noggin and been unable to anchor Red Zone that week, but he just ended up with scuffed  knuckles.


June 14th, 2013 at 2:45 PM ^

After the 2008 Illinois game at the Big House, I hung around outside the tunnel and got to meet some of the players.  Got to talk to Brandon Graham, get an autograph, etc.  Nice guy . . . happy kid in a monster's body.

The interesting part is that I got to talking with his mom who was also with him.  Brandon moved on, but I talked with her a good long while about the life of a big-time college football player.  Everyone had been speculating about whether he was going to come back to Michigan the next year, but she assured me that he was not going to leave for the NFL and he was going to come back.  

We talked about the risk ot him getting hurt.  She informed me that they had a $2 Million insurance policy on him in case of career-ending injury.  The family had to pay the premiums themselves.  The NCAA does not pay them.  We both agreed that if the NCAA wanted kids to stay in school, they should provide the insurance policy. 

It was interesting to hear this kind of discussion from an insider's perspective.


El Jeffe

June 14th, 2013 at 3:01 PM ^

I was in Palo Alto maybe 10 years ago for a friend's wedding and before the ceremony we toured the jaw-droppingly gorgeous Stanford campus. I was in some kind of administration building that looked like a Spanish Versailles when a comely young lass approached me and asked if I knew where the restroom was. I had just visited said loo, and so I was prepared to say "down that hallway on the left."

But when I realized it was Natalie Portman I instead said "schloaksdjfberflaffenhaffenfarvergnugen," wet myself (hard to do when you've just gone to the restroom) and ran away simultaneously giggling and sobbing.



June 14th, 2013 at 3:07 PM ^

If we're talking about talking a pounding in football, I'll share mine:

I played football from 5th grade to my senior year in high school, finally reaching an anti-climatic ending with some interest from non-power DII teams and a request from Northern Illinois to try out on d-line.

My junior year of high school in the fall of '02, I got switched to left guard since my natural position, center, had decent depth there already, but we had a complete lack of lineman who could pull.  One of the games that season was an away game against Saginaw, which featured a well known man among boys named Lamar Woodley.  Since our running game was heavily reliant on pulling guards, and Lamar often played up on the edge, a meeting between the two of us was inevitable.

I was no small and meek pulling guard, standing at 6'2", 265 with a decent 40 for a 17 year old OL.  The first time my name was called to pull to his side, I shot out of my cannon, and dropped my shoulder as I braced for the hit.  I ran into an immovable Woodley, who was waiting for me, and fortunately was able to (only) distract him enough for the tailback to slip through.  What I say now doesn't consist of an ounce of exagerration: Lamar picked up all 265 punds of me, turned a little bit with me in his hands and then gently tossed me to the side out of his way.  He then proceeded to chase down the tailback who made it a few yards farther than he would have if Lamar hadn't been mildly distracted by me.

I was still down on the ground in complete shock at being manhandled for the first time in my football career when Woodley came back over to me, lifted me straight up off the ground and back on to my feet, and said "good block."  I don't think what I did that play can really be considered a block, but to this day, getting politely put in my place and then complimented by someone who ended up being a Wolverine great and a Super Bowl champ is the highlight of my career.

By the way, we were absolutely destroyed in that game and I even got to talk to Lamar about it a couple years later when I ran into him while I was visiting a friend in West Quad. (I know, cool story bro).


June 14th, 2013 at 3:34 PM ^

Since this is a UM blog, I should have had this as my Cool Story Bro....but since I got "called out" for saying I played D1 ball on another post - I figured I would follow-up on that story and tell of my D1 experiences.

This is about my encounter (or lack thereof) with Charles Woodson.

Fall 1992 I played for Sylvania Northview, which was in the same league (Great Lakes League) as Charles Woodson who played for Fremont Ross.  Both were Division 1 Ohio schools - but no way were we in the same class as most D1 schools.  Our total student was under 1100, whereas all the other schools in our league were 3000+ (Toledo Whitmer, Fremont Ross, etc.).  Incidentally, the year after I graduated, Northview went down to Div II - a much more representative league for them.

Anyways - We played Fremont Ross at home my Senior year.  I had always played OL AND DL throughout all my playing career - until the game against Ross.  The coaches felt I should focus on OL as that would be where I'd play in college. 

So I watched helplessly as Woodson ran roughshod over our defense.  He ran for a then school-record 237 yards against us.  Destroyed us all on his own.  I begged to get in the game on defense and was denied - not that I think I would have made much difference, but I hated feeling helpless.

So yeah, again...Cool Story Bro!


June 14th, 2013 at 3:10 PM ^

Got to know him a little bit as he use to come in to the lounge I managed at in Chicago.  He was always fun to talk to and had a lot of interesting stories.  Prior to Rich Rod's last season he told me he had played golf with Dave Brandon and Brandon personally told him Rich was done after the season and Harbaugh is a done deal.  He also had a few good Tom Brady stories, one of which involved him banging Jenna Jamison. 

Coach Nero

June 14th, 2013 at 3:33 PM ^

with Glen Rice and company (dating myself a little), and on a fast break threw a pass to Glen that I thought was way over his head and out of bounds. He went up and snagged it and jammed it for a picture perfect alley-oop.  He high fived me down the court and I won't ever forget the pass I thought was five feet over his head.


June 14th, 2013 at 4:16 PM ^

My roommate plays basketball in a pretty competitive local rec league.  He guarded Walter McCarty the other day.  Said he was bombing 3's and going probably about 60%.


June 14th, 2013 at 4:39 PM ^

On my way home from Atlanta and the final four this year, Denard was on my flight two rows ahead of me in first class going to Dayton. There was only 20 minutes left in my flight before I finally realized it was him. It was the am flight to Dayton so it was quite humorous to me to watch Denard's dreadlocked head bob back and forth while he was trying to sleep on the plane..... this is totally worth a "cool story bro" response, I know.


June 14th, 2013 at 5:17 PM ^

Either '92 or '93 I was sitting at the bar waiting for a buddy at Rick's for dollar pitchers and Steve sat next to me in a happy mood. (He is obviously monstrous and I am 5'11" 170). I had no idea it was him, but I was done with my first pitcher and he said hi, and I responded with this, "If you want to go outside and practice falling down, I will be out in a minute." He chuckled, so I kept on it. "I will hit you with so many lefts that you will be begging me for a right." At this point he is still amused by me. So I confidently say, " I used to fuck guys like you in prison!" He laughs. The bartender comes over and says, "Steve, is this guy bothering you?" No he says and laughs and walks off. The bartender asks if I knew him, and I said "was that Steve Everitt?" I laughed, thanked God and drank more beer.
Also played pool with some of the Fab Five Freshman year there. They were nothing in the summer of 92.
Yeah yeah, CSB


June 14th, 2013 at 5:28 PM ^

I met Brad Nessler before the Wisconsin game in 2008 and got my picture with him. He asked who the handsome man was who took the picture...it was my dad.


June 14th, 2013 at 6:17 PM ^

I was in Denver for World Youth day 1993 I believe. Pope John Paul II came to the old Mile High Stadium and he did a mass for a packed stadium. Also he did another mass in some state park outside Denver a couple days later. Hundreds of thousands of people were there. Like a Woodstock atmosphere without the fires. Only thing I got


June 14th, 2013 at 7:23 PM ^

I did pretty much the same thing as the OP, but in summer camp before my freshman HS year. I was big for a freshman so I got lined up against the other 'big' guy who happened to be going into his senior year, and happened to commit to staee as a LB under Saban just a few months later. I remember getting hit, then I remember feeling very tall, then I remember laying on the ground. That was my only experience going up against a D1 athlete as I broke my shoulder in an accident a few weeks later. CS,B.



June 14th, 2013 at 8:10 PM ^

Danny Glover once gave me a high five at a party because I told him I thought he was great in Predator 2. Every time he saw me for the rest of the night he pointed at me and said, "My man!"


June 14th, 2013 at 8:14 PM ^

with Greg Jennings and Jerome Harrison as a C and DE, as a 230 lb sophomore starting on varsity I got ran over routinely by Greg ( G-Money). J.C. on the other hand I could never get a hand on, but boy was it amazing blocking for him. 2,600 yards in 10 games with 32tds, amazing. Our QB was also Sherrod Harrell, who was a 2 time captain for UofM hoops in 05 and 06. We played against Kelly Baraka and both Sorantos brothers and beat them by two scores in front of 6,000 people. Paul Sorantos gave me a concussion as I tackled him for a 2 yard loss. Joey ran me over and did whatever he wanted. Cool stories huh bros?


June 14th, 2013 at 9:04 PM ^

My sister won a meet and greet with Kirk Herbstreit from a box of pop tarts. 250 winners and one guest each were invited to have a box lunch courtesy of Marsh supermarkets and then meet the man himself.
7 people showed up. Presumably, it was because it was on a weekday during work hours. In addition, my sister received notice about 36 hours before the event, so if that was typical it would harm attendance obviously.

As a part of the prize package, she was allowed to bring one item to be autographed.  She had no idea who Kirk was, but knew he was a football guy, so she asked me what would be worthwhile.  My idea was a reaction shot of Lee Corso's infamous "**** it!" that occured right before Michigan's 45-17 victory over Nebraska on 11-19-2011.  This is now one of my most prized possessions.

My dream is to get Fowler's and Corso's signatures as well.

You can read further about the autograph experience at my sister's blog.  I'm sure all the Cincinnati Reds fans here will love it.



June 15th, 2013 at 9:27 AM ^

I was the 2,000,000th customer of 1993 at the Meijer Thrifty Acres on Tittabawassee Road in Saginaw. I won a $100 gift certificate and a basket of Bob Evans pork products, as well as a commemorative 9x12 plaque.


June 17th, 2013 at 10:53 PM ^

More than twenty years ago, when he was a senior in high school and I was a sophomore on the JV basketball team, Voskuil took the time to teach me how to shoot a jump shot. I've won 3 different three- point contests and can still shoot the lights out. Thanks James!