OT: Cool Story Bro!

Submitted by boliver46 on June 14th, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I commonly see the comment "Cool Story Bro" when someone relates something to the board that seems like an ego boost, or an attempt to show how awesome they are.  The comment is usually meant in a derogatory or belittling manner like "Yeah, we know you met Charles Woodson once, but STFU about it!"

But here's your opportunity to relate your stories with (hopefully) less judgement and ridicule.

One of my "Cool Story Bro" moments:

Rather than accept offers from lower tier football programs in DII or DIII, I decided to try my luck and walk-on at the Division 1 University of Toledo.  It's amazing the difference between the treatment scholarship players receive vs. the "cannon fodder" that are the walk-ons.  Free tutoring, free meals, priority class scheduling, priority medical treatment, and so on...but that's the price of being a walk-on - and one I paid gladly for the opportunity to keep playing at a high level.

My reward came in the form of a "Cool Story Bro" moment during walk-through form tackling drills in helmets, jerseys, & shorts.  Basically you're just supposed to wrap up the person across from you, ensuring good tackling form - and sometimes lift up and carry for a couple yards as if you're driving through them.

I had the good fortune to be across from the future 11th pick in the 1993 Draft by the Denver Broncos, Dan Williams.  Dan was a 6'4" 290lb. DE behemoth - faster than any man his size had any right to be - and strong as hell.  He was also notorious (or is it infamous?) as someone who practiced like he played - 100% all the time.  So, after a few reps from my side, it was HIS turn.  All I remember is being wrapped up, lifted off the ground, and slammed to the then astroturf of the Glass Bowl (which has since been renovated with FieldTurf).  I was driven into the astroturf and skidded along the surface - dragging along the ground and leaving a fair amount of skin behind.  I had turf rash on my back!   Dazed and confused and in pain, I still gave Dan an attaboy (hoping to sway him into NOT killing me the next time!).

I only lasted one year in the program as I could see the writing on the wall that my future was NOT in football - but I somehow fondly look back on that memory of being slammed to the turf by the 11th player taken in the 1993 Draft.

COOL STORY BRO!!!!  What's yours?




**EDIT** Interesting how many down votes there are - yet a helluva lot of good "Cool Story Bro" stories added.  Must be alot of people without cool stories.



June 14th, 2013 at 5:11 PM ^

Here is what I don't get.

It is patently obvious that the the only reason the op started this thread is to post his cool story bro story. But felt guilty about it and "invited" others to post their own story.

Why don't you just man up and just post your story and be done with it? Why the cover up? I would have more respect for posts like this if you just say "here is my cool story" and be honest about it.

That is my cool story bro.

no joke its hoke

June 14th, 2013 at 12:47 PM ^

the 99' Michigan/Ohio game was my first ever visit to the Big House. After the game I was standing out back of the stadium were the players come out at. After a while most the players had already came out and I see. tall,skinny guy standing by the basketball arena all by himself. so I walked over and it was Tom Brady. I started talking to him since no one else was around, we ended up talking for close to 30 minutes. We talked about the season but the cool thing was, I brought up the draft and I'll never forget what he said. I asked where he thought he might go and he said " it doesn't matter much to me, cause when I get to the league I'm going to kick everyone's ass." At the time I thought OK good luck. Boy was he right.

Space Coyote

June 14th, 2013 at 12:47 PM ^

Suffice it to say: they sort of story only gets more common. Typically you're a glorified tackling dummy. You have to be a pretty mean cuss to take that kind of punishment.


June 14th, 2013 at 12:50 PM ^

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.


June 14th, 2013 at 12:53 PM ^

first one that comes to mind: 


When I was like 11 or 12 I went to Ted Nugent's Kamp for Kidz in Caseville. It was a week long bow hunting camp (amongst other things). The last day we had a 'buck shoot" where groups of kids lined up with Uncle Ted and we all shot at a dollar bill taped to a target. The object was to hit the dollar as close to George Washington's nose as possible. I was two people to the left of Uncle Ted. I hit George about half an inch from the tip of his nose and won the "Buck shoot" for my group. CS,B


June 14th, 2013 at 12:53 PM ^

I'm a pretty big deal.  In college I played an intramural softball game against Matt Schaub (our teams tied) and had classes with Roger Mason, Jr.  You might say... cooler story, bro.

Fuzzy Dunlop

June 14th, 2013 at 1:04 PM ^

Boliver?  More like Bolivia!

Sorry, that was a terrible joke.  Reminds me of the time I met a young Jerry Seinfeld, and he told some joke about airline peanuts.  It was terrible, lacking any proper lead-in from his previous jokes.  I told him, "Jerry, you need a better introduction for these little tidbits of observational humor.  Why don't you try something like 'what's up with airline peanuts,' or even 'what's the deal with airline peanuts'?  That'll grab the audience's attention."

Anyway, I heard he did well for himself.  Don't really know, I don't watch TV, spend more time writing my novel.  Which reminds me of the time I explained to Philip Roth that he really needed to add an accent to the punchline for Portnoy's Complaint.  But that's another story . . .

Blue in Yarmouth

June 14th, 2013 at 1:08 PM ^

but of all my stories this might be the cool story broiest of them all. 

I don't remember what year it was now but it was at least a decade ago now and my wife and I were vacationing in Italy. We were on a beach one afternoon and as we walk through a section that was fairly sparce in terms of beach goers I saw a woman laying on the beach reading a book topless.

She had her sunglasses on and no top yet still I recognized her right away (I have a bit of a knack for facial recognition). Anyway, my wife didn't believe me and we debated it as we walked past her (within earshot). I saw her smirk at the discussion and that gave me the confidence to stop and verify for my wife that it was her.

I was a little nervous as she was topless and I was a stranger, but she conversed with us as if it was nothing. In fact, she and my wife got on so well that she asked us to stay for a drink (she had wine and glasses in a picnic basket under her lounger) and they chatted as if friends for a couple of hours...all while some pervert sat inconspicuously staring at her breasts....


June 14th, 2013 at 1:20 PM ^

I played softball against Vada Murray a few times in the early 90's.. I remember him hitting routine shots to me in the outfield (Leftcenter or Rightcenter) and he'd be standing on second base before I could get the ball back into the infield.  The guy was fast......and clearly (and rightfully) didn't respect my arm.  It happened more than once.

The other story was in the spring of '94.  I was hanging out at the bar in Fraser's and sitting right next to me was Bo himself.  I think that hit was the  25th reunion of the 1969 team (his first).  Most of the team was in a tent outside the door but Bo came inside and hung out for awhile.  I didn't speak to him but he was clearly in a pretty good mood.  He liked having all of his boys back in town.


June 14th, 2013 at 1:45 PM ^

Another Softball (i.e. limited athletic ability) story.  I played against Dave Gallagher a former All-American defensive tackle who played for Michigan 1971–1973 and in the Bears 1974-1979.  

I was playing 3rd base and played as deep as I could without totally embarrasing myself (couple of feet into the outfield grass).  I made a diving catch of a line drive off his bat.  Sheer luck I am sure.

The neat thing about playing softball in Ann Arbor in the summers is you would be playing against Michigan athletes from all sports (a fair amount of hockey players).

I remember playing agains a track and field guy (shot put I think).  He hit the ball so hard it was oblonged.  I've never seen anyone deform a softball before.



June 14th, 2013 at 1:29 PM ^

I used to work with Steve Hutchinson, Jeff Backus, Josh Williams, Matt Lentz, B.J. Askew, Leon Hall, Willis Barringer, Matt Gutierrez, Pierre Woods, Larry Stevens, Jake Long, Dave Petruziello, and many others in my days at the lumber yard.

Drunk Uncle

June 14th, 2013 at 1:34 PM ^

I went to Bud Middaugh's baseball camps when I was a kid. Met Barry Larkin and got to see Jim Abbott throw, Mike Gillett was there. Pro's had clinics like Alan Trammell and former Tigers Jim Northrup. We stayed in the dorms and also played flag football at Michigan Stadium, on astroturf. One of the UM players gave a few of us chewing tobacco and I threw up, I never tried it again. These camps were by far the coolest things about my childhood.

Cool story, bro?


June 14th, 2013 at 1:39 PM ^

I was part of the Thronson house broomball champions. 

I even scored an overtime goal in the shootout in the southern goal of yost.

That is more important than winning a rose bowl if you ask me.

SQ what!