OT: "Clowney Facts" Twitter Account

Submitted by Dilla Dude on December 22nd, 2012 at 4:25 PM

I was wandering aimlessly through the Twitterverse, when I stumbled on @ClowneyFacts, a well-done parody account dedicated to Jadeveon Clowney.

I figured i'd post this here because we take on his Gamecocks New Year's day, and it'd be fun admiring all of his marvelous "feats." He even has Chuck Norris shaking in his boots. 

Link: https://twitter.com/ClowneyFacts

Here are a few gems:



@ClowneyFacts In a taste test between Coke and Pepsi, Jadeveon Clowney chose quarterback tears every time.

@ClowneyFacts Jack Links Beef Jerky was going to run the "Messing with Jadeveon" ad campaign, but shooting was cut short due to overly realistic violence.
@ClowneyFacts Jadeveon Clowney loves stand up comedy. His favorite joke... ACC football.
@ClowneyFacts "You are what you eat" has been scientifically proven false. Does Jadeveon Clowney look like a quarterback to you?
@ClowneyFacts Jadeveon Clowney's 40 yard dash time makes the speed of sound wish it had practiced a little harder.




December 22nd, 2012 at 9:14 PM ^

Your are quite liberal with your use of "well done" and "gems" to describe that twitter account. I'd hate to read the parody accounts you don't find funny


December 22nd, 2012 at 9:15 PM ^

Wow, surprised by all the hate, I must be 14, because this is kind of funny to me...The best UM candidate to pull off something like this has to be Jake  Ryan, or maybe a Stauskas  shooter meme "The mounties made Nik Stauskas leave Canada because his hot streak was melting The Rockies"   

the Glove

December 22nd, 2012 at 11:09 PM ^

It's threads like these that remind me for the last 4 and a half years that about half of the people on this board have little to no sense of humor. I understand that it's not hilarious, but if you don't care for it, you don't have to post. Just move on. The majority of the comments below are the reason that blue in South Bend gave up being a mod. Just the absolute negativity. I'll step down from my soapbox knowing nothing will change.


December 23rd, 2012 at 9:40 AM ^

BiSB gave up being a mod because he didn't have time for it any more. The walls of negativity spurned on by the OSU loss only expedited his resignation. While I can't speak for him, I would imagine having to constantly purge threads like this was probably one of his least favortie pastimes as moderator.

the Glove

December 23rd, 2012 at 3:16 AM ^

Yeah for over 5 and a half years. I started when it was a .org site. I have watch the morality of this board shrivel year after year because of some of the most negative people continuing to join. I don't mind when people disagree or have age difference of opinion, but people now just complain to complain.


December 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 AM ^

Because if we don't piss and moan every time something stupid and worthless like this gets posted, it's taken as a tacit endorsement by a lot of blog memebers. Then we get more stupid and worthless shit being posted on the board, and before you know it, BOOM, MGoBlog is MLive. Maybe you want that, but Brian certainly doesn't want that, and most of the the members of the board don't want that either.

Self policing has always been an important mechanism in keeping the wolves somewhat at bay. It doesn't always work, hell if you're anywhere near the board after a loss you can see firsthand how futile it is a lot of the time, but we can at the very least keep shit like this to a minimum via our bitching.


December 23rd, 2012 at 1:48 AM ^

Clowney is the best player in the country...by far.  I watch a lot of college football like many of you.  Rarely do you see an athlete so superior to those lining up on the other side of the ball, especially when in a legit conference.  I remember him in the Florida game where SC got destroyed...but he was absolutely unblockable.  Looked like a grown man playing kids.

Every once in a while those really  special guys come along where you know you are watching something amazing with how they dominate at a certain level.  Will it translate to the next level?  Of course not, but he should still be a good pro.  But at the college level he is just unblockable.  They will need to double team him...Lewan can't block this guy one on one.


December 23rd, 2012 at 5:29 AM ^

I don't mean this in a manner to say you're wrong, because I do think JaDaveon is a good football player, but from watching the LSU/South Carolina game film I found only a few plays where he was relevant.  Granted, an offense can "go away from" a player and limit his role in affecting plays but again, there was little -from what I saw, and I don't think he was double teamed all that much- that showed him to be completely dominant.  I have seen plenty SEC games where he played and he makes great plays; again, a pretty damn good footbal player.


December 23rd, 2012 at 3:47 PM ^

"They will need to double team him...Lewan can't block this guy one on one."

The Clowney / Lewan matchup is going to be interesting to watch.  Let's hope the camera work allows some nice isolation sequences on those two.  The film of that matchup might prove to be a nice clinic on both DE and LT play.


December 23rd, 2012 at 12:16 PM ^

Didnt go to the account, but the tweest the OP listed remind me a lot of the analogy quips made about Denard on this site over the last few years. And many, many of those Denard quips were not as funny as those the OP listed (not that they are extremely funny either). The hypocracy here is so extreme as to be embarrassing as a UM fan.