OT - Calling MgoDads!

Submitted by killerseafood3 on March 29th, 2017 at 9:23 PM

My wife is scheduled to be induced on Tuesday at Genesys Hospital in Grand Blanc. It is our first child (a girl) and we are both super excited and super freaked out. Honestly, even being in the delivery room is freaking me out as I'm a bit of a wuss with the blood and guts.. 

To all of you fathers out there - give me your best advice / tips for a first time father. 

 

Comments

ST3

March 29th, 2017 at 10:53 PM ^

I freaked out, stopped eating and drinking and developed a kidney stone. I gave birth to a stone a week after my son was born. My wife's delivery was more painful, but not by much.

NFG

March 29th, 2017 at 9:32 PM ^

Boom! Nuff said.

My kids are my world. They're still young but time flies with them. Be patient and enjoy how truly wonderful they are. I could have the worst day, and having my girls flip it completely for the better. They'll cry, throw fits, make you question your parenting skills, but it's all worth it. Invest in a 529 the second you get her SSN.

Congrats.

Robbie Moore

March 29th, 2017 at 10:29 PM ^

...will blow you away. I was so nervous and uncomfortable (tho not nearly as uncomfortable as mom) right up to the birth, then...wow...

It's now 32 years later and I have no idea where the time went. Three parenting philosophies that worked for me

1. Don't sweat the small stuff. 

2. Keep your powder dry for when you really need it.

3. Your credibility is everything so don't say something stupid like "Nobody thinks farts are funny."

Goggles Paisano

March 30th, 2017 at 4:54 AM ^

Yeah that's solid right there.  It's a beautiful thing and all but that image (good or bad) will stay with you for life.  I have three kiddos and I was sure each time to maintain my spot near my wife's head and supporting her from up there.  

It is also a long day so take a few breaks and grab a meal, go for a walk, etc.  I even watched a ballgame or two from the room.  Exciting times - I'm happy for you.  

ijohnb

March 30th, 2017 at 9:45 AM ^

here.  It is important for you to manage yourself well the day of the birth and not become "over involved."  There isn't a whole lot for you to do the day of and if you are too involved you can kind of get in the way.  Your most important role is the day or days after, while still in the hospital.  There is not a "baby depository" where they keep your daughter until all is well and good with your wife.  She will be in your room almost immediately, really before you have time to digest things.  That is where you come in.  Your wife will be completely exhausted and your daughter will need to be cared for, immediately.  You will probably spend 2 nights in the hospital.  Don't plan on sleeping the second night at all. 

Congrats though, it really is a life changing experience.

conradb42

March 30th, 2017 at 10:26 AM ^

Only thing to add is to really manage the visitors. Some people stay too long, or too many people show up. Your wife will be exhausted and will need you to be the bad guy. Say no. Kick people out.

Change the diapers, pamper your wife, give your daughter her first bath. Soak it all in. 

 

ijohnb

March 30th, 2017 at 11:40 AM ^

be aware of overly involved med-students.  I get it, hospitals are for teaching as well, and I understand why they are involved and what they are doing.  That being said, for my second child, at Genesys actually, we were swarmed with med students for nearly 8 hours on our second day, so much so that we could not really do what we needed to do as a family.  Eventually I just told them that I thought they had learned enough for the day and that they could not keep coming if every 15 minutes and it subsided. 

GoWings2008

March 30th, 2017 at 9:32 AM ^

All day this....stay north of the border, ifyouknowhatimean.

My wife had standing orders (we just had our first 5 weeks ago, so it's all fresh in my memory)

1. Keep feeding her ice chips

2. Hold her hand

3. Keep feeding her ice chips

 

And my own addition, don't look tired, even for a second.  She is about to do a marathon (fuck that, she's doing an Ironman Triathlon), the least we men can do is be there as support the whole time.

Learn immediately how to change a diaper, this will win you big points later.

Mgoscottie

March 29th, 2017 at 9:30 PM ^

are pretty easy since they don't move around much, but you're tired always.  I didn't anticipate getting home from the hospital being so exhausted from being up all night.  

TatuajeVI

March 29th, 2017 at 9:30 PM ^

Here's the deal: no one knows what they are getting into with parenting until they have kids. Sure your pediatrician, friends, family and books/online reading can give you tips, advice and helpful things to remember. But parenting you mostly just figure out as you go along. And that's just fine. Good luck to you and Go Blue.

Rabbit21

March 29th, 2017 at 9:31 PM ^

Make peace with being mad about not sleeping, get up and change the diapers, appreciate the fact that you get to be a dad!

Develop a giant array of dad jokes.

Congratulations!!

xtramelanin

March 29th, 2017 at 9:33 PM ^

attend to your bride and be sensitive to her needs, understanding they may vary tremendously during labor.  sometimes they want to walk, sometimes want to sit quietly, sometimes want music, sometimes a hot tub. then she might want ice chips and juice.   at some point it gets intense and she might throw that all up.  if you are paying attention to her you'll be fine.  you are emotional support.  

(I've been there.  blessed father of many)

borninAnnArbor

March 29th, 2017 at 10:33 PM ^

I have four kids. The first time was very worrying as everything was new. The other three were not too bad because I knew what was about to happen. Pack a bag. Write a check list before you leave to make sure you have everything. At the hospital you are just there for support. See if she needs anything. If she does, help her. If not, just hang out.

Trust the support staff, they do it for a living. You are not the only couple to ever have a baby.

When it come to the delivery, it is not that bad. Personally, I think it is worth a look. You can be the color commentator during delivery. Let her know what is going on. Except if your wife poops when she delivers. What many people do not think about is that the pushing for delivery and pushing for pooping are similar. Your wife does not need to know this.

When the baby is born it will be very goopy and probably have blueish hands and feet. That is normal. It freaked me out the first time.

Also, a day after the baby is born and she has been fed and changed, allow the nurse to take the baby to the nursery and get some rest. This is very important and you are not a bad parent for needing to take a nap.

ScruffyTheJanitor

March 30th, 2017 at 8:14 AM ^

After watching my wife build and birth a baby, I don't even think fathers days should be a thing- except, perhaps, as the day the woman gets one free shot to punch me in the nuts. 

I have never felt more useless that when I was watching my wife (who does NOT want to be touched when she's feeling sick) writhe on the table with contractions. There was nothing I could do; she didn't want ice, I couldn't give her an epidural, and saying, "This is going to get worse before it gets better," might have resulted in my wife strangling me to death. 

But I was there, holding her hand, making sure the only thing she had to worry about was the kid. I called all family members, I made sure the nurses were on top of everything, and (after the epidural), I held her hand when she was nervous. 

stephenrjking

March 29th, 2017 at 9:56 PM ^

You think any man is rational enough to consider whether football season is a possible outcome when the process is engaged? 

Besides, football season birthdays can be great. My Dad took me to football games as a birthday present, and when I got old enough I used birthday money to scalp tickets to Michigan Ohio State games regularly, starting in 1997 of all years. Made it to Columbus for what is still our last win there in 2000, too.

Mgodiscgolfer

March 30th, 2017 at 1:54 PM ^

for the husband. No, the hard part is the next ten years because you will be expected to move heaven and earth for your child(ren). You will do it to because the love you have for your kids cannot be duplicated. You will jump in front of a speeding train for your kids and until you are a parent thats just something you heard. As soon as that baby is out of that womb you will be on a mission, enjoy it, because the next ten years are going to fly by and you'll be sitting there saying I can't believe he or she is in the 6th grade already. 

I say ten years because (obviously they will be around alot longer then that) but they are truely the most important. You child will become what he is after those first ten years and you want to mold them to be successful in life. Good Luck and Go Blue!

Blue in Paradise

March 29th, 2017 at 9:33 PM ^

But it doesn't take long to settle in. Just remember to help your wife out as much as possible and that kids need your love and your attention more than toys, fancy clothes and other junk.

The biggest shock for me when my kids were born was the change that it makes on your life outlook. I only care about myself, my career, and my future in respect to how it impacts their lives and their world.

It's hard work but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

WFBlue

March 29th, 2017 at 9:34 PM ^

Prepare for exhaustion. You will both be very tired for many months. A cliche, but of course totally worth every sleepless moment. Congrats and good luck.

Boner Stabone

March 29th, 2017 at 9:34 PM ^

Be supportive to your wife while she is in labor and remember that she does not mean what she says to you when she is yelling, screaming, and cursing at you during labor.  Also, as someone above mentioned....don't look down.

Fishbulb

March 29th, 2017 at 9:35 PM ^

...to complain about your sore back or trick knee. Suck up whatever ailments you may be suffering and appreciate your wife is pushing something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a tangerine. Because if you complain about ANYTHING, she will never let you forget it. Like forever. And when your daughter is born, don't get so caught up with letting everybody know that you miss out on the wonder. Spend an hour together appreciating everything before you start blowing up everyone else's phone.

stephenrjking

March 29th, 2017 at 9:43 PM ^

It's kind of a secret that the early months actually ease parents into a lot of things before it gets more difficult later. The baby is a bit more sensitive and sleeps irregularly, which is a hassle, but they can't go anywhere yet, sleep for large portions of the day, and the diapers are relatively low-impact. 

WGoNerd

March 29th, 2017 at 9:36 PM ^

A lot of stuff comes easy. It really is crazy how much just comes on instinct.  It's also the greatest thing ever. Having a little girl is truly amazing.

Specific advice: Set ground rules with visiting. No drop-ins, and have people call before they come over. My mom showed up with my grandmother unannounced literal minutes after I laid down to sleep for the first time in about a day and it was awful. People will understand.

Also: take turns with your wife getting up with the baby at night. The first night my wife and I were BOTH getting up and we BOTH had nervous breakdowns due to lack of sleep. It was a total rookie mistake.

Congrats to you and your wife!

runandshoot

March 29th, 2017 at 9:37 PM ^

I have two daughters - was there for the delivery of both.  It's not something I really want to talk about, as it is bloody and pretty ridiculous to witness, but being there and seeing your child for the first time...there is nothing in the world that can replace that.

Also, the first time you hold your baby girl - your whole world will never be the same!

 

Blue4U

March 29th, 2017 at 9:39 PM ^

I've been to Genesys many a time.  I was born at McLaren in Flint as was my daughter.  Best advice, don't look at the placenta bag when the Doc pulls it out.  And get plenty of sleep before Tues.  Just because they're inducing doesn't necessarily mean it will be timely.  My daughter's birth was induced and it still took 18 hours.

TrueBlue2003

March 30th, 2017 at 1:56 AM ^

honestly, nothing can prepare you mentally for the birth.  you'll forget everything you tried to learn anyway. just listen to the professionals and enjoy the ride.  it's an incredible experience.

the hospital staff and your loved ones help you figure out what to do the first couple days, then you head home and figure it out.  even if you didn't buy a single thing ahead of time, you can take home a bunch of diapers and swaddles from the hospital (seriously you paid for it, raid your room). and then the mother can sustain life singlehandedly or should I say boobedly. the baby will sleep a ton and you won't even have much to do so you can just be your wife's (or the mother's) gopher. get her what she needs, feed her, and you're all good.

and apparently cardboard boxes are the safest places for babies to sleep too. seriously, infants are shockingly low maintainence.

oh, but figure out how to soothe your little one when he/she is crying!  watch the happiest baby on the block video but only after the baby is born when you'll actually get it.

good luck!

jblaze

March 29th, 2017 at 9:42 PM ^

Sleep Train. Seriously. Pick a method (Ferber, Weissbluth, Pantley...) you both feel comfortable with and stick to it. The general advice is 4 months & 14 lbs, but just pick a method.