OT: Best Trash Talk Lines

Submitted by Hard Gay on February 10th, 2010 at 10:50 PM

Alright. My IM inner-tube water polo team is thru to the semis. I play goalie and every time I reject some fool's shot (which is 100% of the time) I say a one-liner of trash talk just to get in their heads and lift the spirits of my teammates. You know, stuff like "THIS IS A BRICK WALL" and "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT SHOT" and random stupid stuff. After two playoff games and enough shots on goal, I'm starting to reuse some lines and they're losing effectiveness. So MGoNerds, come up with some good lines for this MGoAthlete so that I can psychologically break down the other team. I smell an MVP trophy coming my way.

Comments

maiznbob

February 10th, 2010 at 11:29 PM ^

have any children?
have any children with an IQ over 1?
know you're out tonight?
bath you before you came here?
say you could do dat?
pack your trunks?
give you lessons?
blow your tube?
let you score?
play goalie?
Tonight's Top Ten - Did Your Mama

umichzach

February 10th, 2010 at 11:34 PM ^

when my brother an i play IM we just scream/yell. mix it up with some low gutturals and then add in something different like a banshee shriek. it scares the shit out of people especially when they aren't expecting it.

pontoon

February 10th, 2010 at 11:55 PM ^

I play goalie in ice hockey and I like to call the other team hosers but most of the time I won't say anything. I like to let my game speak for itself then when they get pissed or slam their stick against the ice you just smile and laugh at them. Seems to work for me.

TomVH

February 11th, 2010 at 12:35 AM ^

I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.

Magnus

February 11th, 2010 at 4:28 AM ^

This is slightly unrelated, but I remember a story about John Randle, the old Vikings defensive lineman.

Mike Wahle, an offensive lineman for the Packers at the time, was playing against Randle. As they were lining up for one play, Randle just started chanting, "BEA-GLE. BEA-GLE. BEA-GLE."

Apparently Wahle was nicknamed "Beagle" in high school, but the nickname wore off and nobody used it anymore. Wahle had no idea how Randle knew that his nickname used to be Beagle.

Wolverine In Exile

February 11th, 2010 at 7:57 AM ^

I've heard my share of smack, but never a lot in inner tube water polo. Best line I heard in inner tube water polo was in a sorority final: "Good thing you're wearing waterproof make-up bitch, 'cause I'll make you cry"

Broomball was the best though... "Go put your moonboots on, get on the short bus, and get the fuck off my ice."

Dave

February 11th, 2010 at 9:08 AM ^

It was after an LSSU player had rifled a shot into the stands and smacked a little girl in the face. The game was paused, the medics were attending, and the place was as quiet as I've ever heard it. Then someone roars out:

"Hey! Number XX! I hope you have better aim with your girlfriend!"

Place went crazy.

IBleedMaizeNBlue

February 11th, 2010 at 9:09 AM ^

This is the most hilarious trash talking article I've read. Two highlights:

"He drew Cowher’s ire for calling him the Tick, a superhero with a super-size chin."

"Scott went so hard after Ryan Fitzpatrick last season when he quarterbacked the Bengals that Scott said Houshmandzadeh and Chad Ochocinco pleaded with him to stop."

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/sports/football/20jets.html

Still in AA

February 11th, 2010 at 10:38 AM ^

I like to use lines from tombstone:

"I swear, it's like I'm playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'"

"You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all."

"Maybe _______ just isn't your game. I know: let's have a spelling contest."

ronmexico

February 11th, 2010 at 11:04 AM ^

"get over here"
"finish him"
"flawless victory"
"whats the matta Dylan, the CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"
"Thank you Mario, but the princess is in another castle!"
"You're an inspiration for birth control."
"Thanks for playing Space Quest IV. As usual, you've been a real pantload!"
"all your base belong to us"