OT: Bama fan poisons trees at Auburn

Submitted by MGoRob on February 16th, 2011 at 7:42 PM

So this is a horrible story and its on ESPN main page but I thought it might be a good thing to share and talk about. A radio station gets a caller from a guy claiming he poisoned the trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner, and yells "Roll damn Tide" and hangs up.

Sure enough, they tested the soil and the area is contaminated with a herbicide that will undoubtedly kill the trees. Best part? The article also says that it will likely spread throughout the area and could be prevalent in the soil for 3-5 years. And the trees are said to be of an average age of 130 years old. What a shame!

I'm all for rivalries, but destroying a tradition of another school is out of this world. This is on a grandiose scale I've never heard of. It would be like cutting the head off Sparty, but that pales in comparison to destroying life. Could you imagine someone poisoning all the trees in the Quad? I'd be livid.






February 17th, 2011 at 10:43 AM ^

It ain't cheap, but you can transplant trees. Major golf courses have transplanted some massive trees overnight to cut off lanes golfers were abusing in PGA events. if I was bama, I'd be looking to buy up a grove of beautiful old trees and getting some enviornmental phds to figure out how to clear the soil asap.

Just like if some dumb UM fan (they do exist) actually physically destroyed sparty I'd be hoping to god the UM leadership paid for a newer, possibly better sparty statue to quell any chances of revenge. Otherwise it could get ugly.

In any case - there are remedies that bama can and should pursue.


February 17th, 2011 at 11:42 AM ^

Actually, this was my first thought, too.  If you can transplant an entire house (ever see the two out-of-place Victorians on Huron Parkway near Washtenaw?), it seems conceivable that you could carefully excavate the trees and their root systems, remediate the soil, and re-plant them.  But I'm not a forester, so I have no idea if it's too late for such a response.

I have no idea what the cost would be.  But I'm sure that Auburn could raise enough "Save the Trees" donations to defray the cost.  To save the trees would be a giant F U to Alabama (and mouth-breathing bottom-feeders everywhere).


February 17th, 2011 at 11:58 AM ^

From the article:

Bond has been set at $50,000, but we mean this quite sincerely: Don't leave jail, man. Don't leave jail, because you will die. This isn't a threat. This is Alabama. Somebody will kill you dead, and finding a sympathetic court to avenge your passing won't be easy, so just hunker down. (For the uninitiated: The thing about the Alabama-Auburn rivalry is the statewide cross-pollination of fans of both schools. It's house-to-house fighting of a sort you'd normally see in an eastern European civil war action flick, and you won't know who's after you until it's too late. One would assume Updyke knows all this already, but again: Gave his real name and hometown to the Finebaum call screeners.)


I think that's roughly 60% serious.


February 17th, 2011 at 12:08 PM ^

From an article linked from that one he's been charged with Criminal Mischief:

1st Degree Criminal Mischief Laws & Penalties

Criminal mischief in the first degree is committed when you damage property with intent to do so by explosion or by causing more than $2,500 in damage.

This serious property offense is a Class C felony punishable by 1 to 10 years in prison and up to $15,000 in fines.


Got this on an Alabama law site.


February 17th, 2011 at 12:40 PM ^

Strap him to a chair. Tilt his head back. Put a funnel down his throat. Pour in 12 oz of Jack Daniels mixed with one jigger of vermouth and one-half cup of Spike 80DF. Tell him it's a Roll Tide Manhattan and he'll go happy.


February 17th, 2011 at 12:41 PM ^

I'm all for rivalries, but this is too far.  You do stuff that is easy fixable, and, though possibly in poor taste, doesn't harm life.

You don't have to be a "tree-hugger" to recognize that 130 years is a damn long time, and a campus tradition is a terrible thing to lose.


February 17th, 2011 at 1:17 PM ^

This is where rivalries go wrong in my opinion.  To me, insults, jokes, and good old fashion hatred is fine, but don't let it go to permeant vandalism or violence.  For example, when we lost to msu, they painted the rock, yeah, ok, it's really annoying, but that's fine in my opinion.  However, they also spray painted street signs, etc.  that's too far.  This is even beyond that.  I hope they catch the guy