OT: Al Borges Eating Habits

Submitted by Shakespeare on February 22nd, 2011 at 11:31 AM

Does anyone else think Al Borges is the type of guy who orders a salad to be "healthy" and then just douses it in Ranch dressing and bacon bits?

Comments

Twisted Martini

February 22nd, 2011 at 12:44 PM ^

Personally, Borges can look like Jabba the Hut and roll around the Big House on a throne carried by scout teamers if he can establish a decent run game and score some points, as far as I am concerned.

JD_UofM_90

February 22nd, 2011 at 12:54 PM ^

Mark Mangino (Old U of Kansas coach) used to just slice up a live pig "Apocalypse Now" style and eat it.  If he wanted ranch dressing, he used bull semen.  And if he got thirsty, he just went right to the cow's teat and drank from the tap....

StephenRKass

February 22nd, 2011 at 1:17 PM ^

Jesus Christ:

I've resisted posting a response to you in the past but have noticed that a number of your posts have been less than worthwhile. I guess everyone has a different sense of humor, and it is off season, so you've got that going for you.

Having said that, your username is in phenomenal bad taste. It isn't worth being offended, so I haven't allowed myself to be offended, but I really don't understand you. There are some guys who get off on being offensive jerks. Movie Maker Michael Moore seems to be one. You are another. I don't know if you are a troll, but your M.O. isn't cute or amusing.

FYI, Jesus Christ had a better sense of humor than you do. He irritated many people, to the point they killed him, but he had has reasons. What are yours?

BTW, many jerks and bullies, when they are called on the carpet for their jerkdom, say something like  "lighten up . . . it was just a joke."  Saying "lighten up" doesn't give you a pass. You would have already learned this if the voting privileges were activitated.

As has already been said above, at least be witty or funny if you're going to joke. Jokes that aren't usually funny here:

  1. Gay jokes.
  2. Mary Sue Coleman jokes.
  3. Coach personal habit jokes.
  4. Women in the kitchen jokes.
  5. Racial jokes.
  6. Religious jokes.
  7. Detroit jokes (these I personally don't mind, but there are many thin-skinned southeastern Michigan residents here, so tread lightly.)

Moderators, please restore voting privileges to the masses, and thereby allow us to self-police. Or, if that isn't possible, take a more active role in applying the banhammer.

Shakespeare

February 22nd, 2011 at 1:27 PM ^

I'm glad to now know what is allowed to be joked about and what isn't. If I'm not mistaken people have had plenty of fun poking fun at overweight coaches in the past [via Mangino, Weis, Crennel, etc.] but as soon as we have a fat coach (who for that matter hasn't even coached a game) we can't poke fun at ourselves. You need to grow up and understand that humor is completely subjective and that while you personally may not find some of the things I post funny, others do. I'm sorry you weren't amused by this irreverent post, I really am - as pleasing you was my M.O. I'm so sorry.

Shakespeare

February 22nd, 2011 at 6:27 PM ^

There are a mixture of people who find it "hilarious" and others who are deeply offended by the reality that our offensive coordinator is obese. You being a part of the latter. 

Tater

February 22nd, 2011 at 7:16 PM ^

Hope you don't mind me giving you a middle initial to help differentiate you from the original.  

I can't speak for anyone but myself here, but usually, most derisive humor is directed toward opponents or people who have otherwise aroused the ire of Michigan fans in general or the posters in particular.  Making "fat jokes" at the expense of a Michigan coach is never going to go over well here.  

I really don't see how someone with your rapier wit and keen intellect didn't figure that out already.  It's even more inexplicable that you would try to defend your position instead of just learning from experience, giving yourself a new username, and posting like someone who cheers for Michigan on a regular basis.  

If you really need a target for "fat jokes," might I suggest Justin Boren?

bleedzblue

February 22nd, 2011 at 7:50 PM ^

How surprising StephenRKass has "woman in the kitchen jokes" on his list at number 4. You have got to be the most whipped man alive, take the ball and chain off of you're genitals. If you can't handle a bunch of guys joking around about woman in the kitchen then you have a terrible sense of humor. Lighten up Francis.

Now, go make me a sandwich. I would ask your wife but I wouldn't want to offend you.

jmblue

February 22nd, 2011 at 1:40 PM ^

-Needlessly provocative username?  Check.

-Aggressively unfunny OP?  Check.

-Obligatory "Lighten up guys" responses?  Check.

It's a hat trick!

JBE

February 22nd, 2011 at 1:44 PM ^

Does anyone else think Jesus Christ should not start a thread predicated on a joke? If it's funny put it in a thread. Also, emphasis on if.

Don

February 22nd, 2011 at 2:36 PM ^

Who are the brave souls who are going to step up and claim these manly, exciting, and above all, provocative handles?

• Allah

• Mohammed

• Martin Luther King, Jr.

• Rosa Parks

• Jehovah

• Yahweh

• Zoroaster

• Ted Bundy

• John Wayne Gacy

• Richard Speck

• Charles Whitman

• Jeffrey Dahmer (or his soul mate, Idi Amin)

• Adolf Hitler

• Heinrich Himmler

• Adolf Eichmann

• Pol Pot

• Josef Stalin

• Hutu Machete Guy

Of course, this list barely scratches the surface—history offers so many more choices of the saintly and the satanic! And the best thing is, regardless of how inane, uninformed, or just plain dumb your comment or post is, you'll get noticed—because you're that Hutu Machete Guy! Or Allah!

Bodogblog

February 22nd, 2011 at 4:11 PM ^

I'm waiting for Barack Obama and Sarah Palin to show up (Raback didn't quite go all the way).  Because there are at least 2 more people unoriginal enough to need that type of attention. 

It's like a boring person getting a large tattoo accross their chest/back/face/scrotum - this thing will not provide you, nor stand in stead of, actual personality.  Except to the dull-minded.  Also, like a troll in that it's seeking reaction solely for the sake of reaction.

Shakespeare

February 22nd, 2011 at 6:31 PM ^

I find everyone's reaction to this hilarious. Shockingly stupid, but hilarious. Al Borges definitely chooses Blue Cheese or Ranch Dressing when the waiter asks him what type of dressing he'd like on his side salad. That is a fact. You don't get to be that fat eating balsamic vinaigrette, that's just the God's honest truth. You just don't.