Bleacherreport is reporting that Barack Obama has named Cincinatti Head Coach Brian Kelly his new Secretary of State. When asked for comment, Obama stated the following:
"When I learned that Notre Dame was interested in Mr.Kelly, I knew I had to act quick and beat them to the punch. The way he was able to dominate Div 2 football, the MAC, and now the Big East...it is clear that Mr.Kelly is one of the smartest five men on the planet and should be feared by all. Having Mr.Kelly as a member of my cabinet, we will begin using his tactics to rule the universe."-Obama
Kelly has taken his Cincinatti squad to an unprecedented 9-0 record and #4 ranking in the AP poll. It is clear that, despite his defense giving up huge points to UCONN, his offense is the savior of not only Cincinatti football, but of all mankind. Obama's move is the smart and pertinent move at this point. It is not even a possibility that he is just this year's new, hot young Urban Meyer-esque coach. Not even a possibility. No way at all. He is the best of all time and the only problem this writer has with his joining Obama's cabinet is that we won't get to see him lead the Domer's to 17 straight National Titles.