MY ROOMMATE IS LAZY BASTARD!

Submitted by BeantownBlue on February 23rd, 2010 at 11:12 AM

Yes, I'm shouting, and I'll take the negs. My roommate Todd McAllister is the laziest Bastard of all time. He hasn't moved from the couch in more than a week, ever since the Olympics started. How about doing some dishes, Todd?!

My other roommate, Jim Collins, is just about as lazy, but at least he got a job at Cinnabon.

These losers watch TV 16-17 hours per day (and still manage to find a way to surf Mgoblog for a few hours per day). I'm so sick of them and hope to be there when they get evicted for not paying their end of the rent.

So now that I'm done freaking out, I've been the only one out of the house since the Olympics started. Time to find new roommates. Anyone looking for a place on Michigan Ave?

EDIT: A big thanks to all of the Mgoblog community for the support. I actually just realized that I'm married and haven't lived with those guys for 9 years. I appreciate you being there for me during that flashback.

Comments

NickUmich

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:05 PM ^

Did you realize that if you combined your roommates into one person, you would be rooming with Todd Collins? Look on the bright side. That's sweet! How can Todd Collins be that lazy? He was the starting QB at Michigan and played in the NFL.

I'd have given my left nut to room with Todd Collins back when I was 12 and he was the starting quarterback at Michigan. Just for the record.

BeantownBlue

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:20 PM ^

I appreciate you trying to put a positive spin on this, but Todd Collins has more ambition in his pinky toe than either of these guys have in their entire combined beings.

Todd McAllister's most ambitious moment came four days ago when he decided to trim his nipple hairs.

On my couch.

NickUmich

February 23rd, 2010 at 3:25 PM ^

Okay, that's gross. Though if Todd Collins had asked me to trim his nipple hairs for him when I was 12, I probably would have done it. LOL

Oh, and all these stories about peoples' lazy roommates make me think that some of these people may have clinical depression. If so, mocking them on a board like this is kinda mean. Though, you probably wouldn't have posted this if that were possibly the case.

Blazefire

February 23rd, 2010 at 11:19 AM ^

Dust the dude on the couch. Dust him. With Endust. Spray it right on his head.

Nothing sends a message that says, "Move your lazy butt" like endust to the head.

mrider

February 23rd, 2010 at 11:22 AM ^

I hate to say, these guys sound like me last week. Reading week (school in Canada), no midterms, Olympics on TV, and some herbs= loafting around on couch watching TV.

JD_UofM_90

February 23rd, 2010 at 11:29 AM ^

in 20 years those lazy D-bags will end up being in management positions at some major corporation.... Wow, some things never change... Everyone has a roommate from hell story from college...

NickUmich

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:17 PM ^

+1 for calling them out by name on this blog even though they also read it. You probably shouldn't do that, but it was quite ballsy of you. So I +1 you nonetheless.

sedieso

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:21 PM ^

My roommate didn't realize our water heater was broken because he thought the Midwest doesn't get warm water in the winter due to cold weather.....he is in law school

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:33 PM ^

Until you walk out of the house at 6:30 on a Tuesday morning because you actually have places to be, and you find your roommate laying on the porch couch (right where he was last night) polishing off a 40, you don't have lazy alcoholic roommates.

But as far as these particular couch-sprawling gentlemen are concerned, it sounds like this post is specifically designed to find its way to the eyes of said lazy roommates, in which case you totally win the Passive-Aggressive Poster of the Month Award.

Bosch

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:36 PM ^

I had one who was on the U of M cycling club. He would set up his bike and rollers in the middle of the living room to "train." Seems innocent enough until you imagine the perspiration dripping on to the carpeted floor.

That's not the worst of it though. One day I came back to the apartment and he was crashed out on the couch wearing one of my flannel shirts.