Mouton - Magical Unicorn Hugger

Submitted by derpDerpDerp on October 3rd, 2009 at 4:28 PM

For 5 games now we've seen Mouton take poor angles, make bad reads and whiff on arm tackles. For 5 games I've wondered if it was a deficiency in skill.

No! It has not been such! I have uncovered that Mouton actually has a unique ability to see magical invisible unicorns that the rest of us cannot. They are from a mystical realm adjacent to the Taco Pants Dimension, and they elicit such warm feelings in the chosen few who can see them -- like Mouton -- that those special humans will drop all other priorities to attempt to hug them.

Thus, the horrendous muffed arm tackle on Sparty's game winning td is explained.

I am still trying to determine what invisible mystical creatures caused Floyd to consider that same play dead and not even attempt to help in the tackle.



October 3rd, 2009 at 4:41 PM ^

that completely ran by Cousins on his 40 yard run? They showed a camera view from the endzone that Cousins was running towards after the run at it looked like Mouton was running at Cousins when he was already 20 yards past the LOS and just completely ran right past him then stopped and said "oh shit".

**edit: ^ how did I miss that post?


October 3rd, 2009 at 5:00 PM ^

Chally you are right on. He not only took a poor angle but made no attempt to tackle. No unicorns fellaz, he just didn't show up on the 41 yard run or the TD...plain and simple. He was nowhere to be found today. Obi was OK and Stevie played well. Mouton had a bad game today but overall, the O-line lost this game. With Molk, I think we win.

Magnum P.I.

October 3rd, 2009 at 5:10 PM ^

As bad as Mouton played at times today, I think Woolfolk wins the goat award this week. As Brian has often mentioned in the UFR, he hasn't really been tested yet, and thus we don't know much about him. Well, he whiffed pretty big time in the opportunities he had today, most obviously on the last play, but on other long runs and passes, as well. Ouchie. Looking for a major negative UFR score for Troy this week. Let's hope he picks it up.


October 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 PM ^

There are kids who can play football well...and athletes who try.

Mouton and Woolfolk are athletes who try but lack football instincts.

A kid like Floyd...who ignorant people here rip on is actually a better football player, but not as good of an athlete.

Until they get some fucking football players out there at LB and secondary, they will continue to struggle.


October 3rd, 2009 at 6:19 PM ^

Basically, it seems like once you get by Michigan's D-line, and assuming you are not a dumb a$$ and actually went away from Warren, you are playing against a well below average defensive unit. The safeties drive me nuts and the linebackers (except Brown) play at MAC-level speed of thought.