Monty Montezuma - SDSU mascot.

Submitted by Section 1 on September 22nd, 2011 at 11:15 AM

This is in the category of "get to know your opponent."  Or, perhaps, Installment Number 3.4 in "Why Michigan should never, ever consider a 'mascot'."

Behold, Monty Montezuma, who I presume will be making his first-ever visit to Michigan Stadium, to thrill and entertain the all-important 4- to 8-year old demographic.  Because of, like, all the revenue and everything:


Cut biceps; check.  Headgear just made for Lee Corso; check.  'Skorts' that Lee Corso must never wear; check.  Conch shell horn; awesome.  Threatening weaponry including optional spear and/or broadsword; confiscated by Stadium security services.

I've actually seen Monty Montezuma, when SDSU visited Camp Randall to play Wisconsin a few years ago, and given that the game was 0-0 at the half, Monty Montezuma was nothing less than the star of the show.  I left with the game 7-0 in the third quarter.  

Your little members of the all-important 4- to 8-year old demographic will be loving Monty Montezuma this Saturday. 





September 22nd, 2011 at 11:55 AM ^

If they gave him one of those wooden swords with the stone blades sticking out of it that they carried, I don't know what they call those.  The weaponry of Central American peoples was pretty brutal.


September 22nd, 2011 at 1:51 PM ^

The Aztecs were into that. In fact, they once slaughtered 40,000 people in a three day saturnalia of sacrifice. This love of mass murder so embittered their neighbors(The Aztecs raided  rival tribes for victims) that they became allies of Cortez when he arrived. Their participation in Cortez' conquest was a significant factor in its success.


September 22nd, 2011 at 2:39 PM ^

their whole culture revolved around human sacrifices. 

They weren't very bright either, a lot of modern archaeologists believe the human sacrifices were the result of mistakenly literally interpreting older Olmec allegories about the heartl(soul) being cut out of the body at death and the burning(renewal) of the soul at death.


September 22nd, 2011 at 2:49 PM ^

Well, you're all in for a treat.

For this one game, only, Michigan will deploy a Cortez mascot, who will ride in on a horse, impale Monty with a maize block M, and both will exchange highly contagious infectious diseases.

As a follow-up, he will lead an expedition to steal all the gold in San Diego and have it transported in treasure ships to Ann Arbor.

The PA system in the Big House will blare "Conquistador," by Procol Harum.



September 22nd, 2011 at 3:59 PM ^

It's a mascot carrying bag.  I think the mascot is a penguin but not sure.  I was just imagining a little kid crying if they saw it being carried into the stadium.  I remember seeing my kindergarten teacher blowing up one of the Letter People before class and I've been scarred ever since.  Now I've said too much.