Monday OSU Hate Thread

Submitted by JeepinBen on November 22nd, 2010 at 10:58 AM

There's a lot of chatter on the board today, blah blah State, blah blah MSM guy says X - he's stoopid!

Guess what, it's Ohio State week. Every year, the last game of the year, so many times for the Big Ten Title. 

The board mobilized this summer when there was a chance that The Game could move, well guess what, get pumped, because The Game is here. 

Ohio is the worst state ever, they suck, I hate them with every fiber of my being, and we cannot forget that. 

 

 

  • A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a Buckeye joke?” The guy replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6′ tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, 225 lbs., and he is an Ohio State graduate. The guy right next to him is 6’5″, 250lbs., and he is also an Ohio State graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?” The first guy says, “No, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”
  • It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing 40 players for the Michigan game …the rest of the players will have to dress them selves.
  • Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed and the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn’t colored in two of the books yet.
  • Q: What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT? A: Drool.
  • Q: How do you get an Ohio State Graduate off your front porch? A: Pay him for the pizza.
  • Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? A: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order please?”
  • Q: Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games? A: Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
  • A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep the store.” But, I’m a OSU graduate,” the young man replied indignantly, “I even played football there!” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, I better show you how”.
  • Two Ohio State football players were hootin’ and hollerin’ while partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. “Two months?!” exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, “Yeah, the box said 4 – 6 years!”
  • A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horse back riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
  • A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: “Here lies an OSU graduate and a good man.” The little boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?”
  • Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. “Who disturbs me?” asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. “You will each get one wish,” said the genie. Jim offers to go first. “I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganders can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!” The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he’ll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, “Fill it with water.”

Jokes found on the interwebs - add yours and your stories of why you hate OSU

Comments

JeepinBen

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:05 AM ^

 

"Research Paper"

Terrelle Pryor

Research is the most used resource to finding out something you need from school papers to things you want to buy. Research is also used to find cheaper shopping supplies. For instance one store may have had a pricey type of material one was looking for and the other store you researched was a couple dollars cheaper. Coming out of high school I was thinking to my self what I wanted to do for a living and what I wanted to major in to start the quest for my job. Research is also used to find shopping cheaper shopping supplies.

I used the research process to find out what type of job specific major I wanted to major in and what type of job I wanted to do when I graduated from college. I researched different types of jobs, Criminal justice, business, communications, and education. I came up with criminal justice but couldn’t decide between business and criminal justice. I did research on business and did their pros and cons. Then, I did the pros and cons of criminal justice. I came up with in the business world you can either have a good chance at the type of business you want to start or a bad business that won’t sell or bring in money.

Another part of my research I did was the most important factors in the business, was what they want for what they can afford and is there a profit that can help me out to make some extra money.The availability of the job openings, the job entails, the pay hours. I looked up also whether I would have to be in school for along time or not to get a job. Also my personal enjoyment in the job would I love to do every day I woke up to go to work.

With out research I would not have been able to get these types of information for the job that I want to do for the rest of my life. If one would just go and do something with out researching first they could’ve missed something that could have later benefited later on or benefited one more then the other.

evenyoubrutus

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:08 AM ^

With out research I would not have been able to get these types of information for the job that I want to do for the rest of my life. If one would just go and do something with out researching first they couldnt've missed something that could have later benefited later on or benefited one more then the other.

Now isn't that a true statement.

Wendyk5

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:23 AM ^

As much as I like to laugh at the intellectual inferiority of OSU and its students and student athletes, I cannot be a hypocrite. Years and years ago, Gary Grant was in my roommate's psych class. She sat next to him one day, and in the middle of class, he leaned over and asked her, "How you spell 'bum'"? 

Terrelle Pryor might not be an exemplary student. But we never expected him to be. 

 

However, we did expect him to be a superstar quarterback. I would say the jury's still out on that one. Right now, I'm loving that Denard, in his first year starting, is running roughshod over TP's stats and getting all the national media attention. If I'm going to roll around in anything, it's going to be that

 

Oh, and by the way, I hate Ohio State. REALLY, REALLY hate them. 

ldoublee

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:19 AM ^

and in the past week I've had to simultaneously verball tear apart a Cleveland Plain Dealer reporter (who used the uber-classy "DickRod" phrase) and my fellow high school coaching staff (about 10 were there) when they tried to talk too much smack to me.  I told them that they had better win this year, because next year their little party is over.  They all had a good laugh, but when I offered to bet any of them on next year's game, no one had the balls to do it. 

The day before I had to listen to noted author and speaker (and close personal friend of Jim Tressel) talk about how he speaks to the Ohio St. team every Friday night before they play MIchigan...I did this as probably the only Michigan fan in a room of 250 people.  I went up to Mr. Maxwell and told him how much I enjoyed his talk on leadership except for the part on Ohio State.  He looked at me funny and I just said "Go Blue", turned, and walked away.  Fuck that guy.

I've endured 1 win in the last 9 games here in Ohio.  I'm ready for blood.

BlueNote

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:36 AM ^

We go to Ohio to whup some ass.  Let's show them why we earned the nickname, "Wolverines":

Then let us drink a health to those honest, upright men.
To all those true Republicans, the friends of Michigan;
And when we have another war for the disputed land,
May they be ready, cocked and primed to fight for Michigan.

From "The Toledo War Song," located at

http://www.michigan.gov/dnr/0,1607,7-153-54463_18670_18793-80167--,00.html

Mgoscottie

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:40 AM ^

I found out this week that when he was still with the good guys they had a car wash for Mott's and he skipped it as far as working goes.  Then he showed up and got his car washed and didn't pay anything.

Also, fuck ohio state.

CAHLChamp

November 22nd, 2010 at 3:15 PM ^

A former college roommate of mine showed up to my house last year with an OSU shirt that honored the 2006 "Undefeated Year".  Year, not Season, but whatever, only that school could produce a shirt commemorating something that didn't actually happen

Seth

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:46 AM ^

How do you get to Columbus from Ann Arbor?
Go South on U.S. 23 till you smell it, then East until you step in it.

What do get when you put 32 Buckeyes in a room?
A full set of teeth.

Jim Tressell and Rich Rodriguez were driving around one night and just by chance, their paths crossed and they crash. Tressel is sent to heaven, and is given a nice, cozy crimson and gray house on "Coach's Row." Jim looks in wonder at the little house, and even though it is small, he figures it's not so bad because he lives between such coaches as Knute Rockne and Bear Bryant.

Then he looks down the street and sees a giant maize and blue mansion -- I mean it is beautiful, with a gorgeous lawn etc. and there is a big party going on around the pool and everyone is singing "The Victors". So Jim asks Knute: "Hey, Knute why does Rich Rod get such a fine, big house and I get such a small house?" Knute looks at him and says "Oh that's not Rich's house, Rich survived the crash, THATS GOD'S HOUSE!!"

Why do they call Ohio State's marching band "The best dam band in the land"?
Because even a mighty river will divert itself to avoid listening to them.

(
(Also: you could probably block the Mississippi with the waist of their sassoonist)

JonSobel

November 22nd, 2010 at 12:05 PM ^

Basically, their band is the kid in school who gave himself a nickname and got pissed when people didn't call him by it.  Most people I meet outside that fanbase use it in jest more than anything else.  Giving yourself nicknames to make yourself feel better about not actually being the best is just sad.

JonSobel

November 22nd, 2010 at 11:48 AM ^

and by God I can't wait until our next win over Ohio State.  Not because I dislike the University.  It's the fanbase.  It's the constant crap that's handed out and is overlooked by those who shouldn't.  It's having your job threatened because of your allegiance only to have your boss's boss shrug his shoulders.  It's being assaulted on campus and having people you see on a daily basis look the other way or laugh.  It's about the cops who make your life miserable because of a decal on your car.  It's the property being stolen and vandalized because rights and laws in this city don't truly protect everyone.  It's the teachers who give kids crap and tease them until they cry and the principal who won't do a thing about the teacher and the superintendant who won't do a thing about either.  It's the complete @$$-hattery of some drunken jerk who thinks "I'm just kidding man" makes what he does acceptable.  It's the broken windows, dumpster fires, and general lack of anything resembling respect for the law after big wins and losses.  It's idolizing someone who was, based on recorded behavior, paranoid at best and clinically insane more than 20 years after his death.  It's having to tell your assistant soccer coach to shut the hell up and help coach the team or make his way to the parent sideline instead of talking smack while 9-11 year olds are trying to win.  It's making ridiculous statements about anything related to our team and laughing it off when presented with well-thought and researched points that contradict them.  It's calling yourselves journalists when you take pot shots in the sports section and have a "fan-site" counter since the last time you lost to your rival.  It's thinking that their way of winning is the only way and that no one has ever or will ever succeed the way they are now.  It is Ohio State fandom, and to be perfectly blunt, F*** them and F*** the horse they rode in on, the two-bit Johnny-come-lately's of college football.

UAUM

November 22nd, 2010 at 12:14 PM ^

"The Ohio State Alma Mater 'Carmen Ohio' was composed by freshman Fred Cornell on the train ride home to Columbus following the 1902 contest, which saw Ohio State losing to Michigan, 86–0. The lyrics and melody (Spanish Chant) have remained largely unchanged since its conception."- wikipedia 
 
"The rotunda [at Ohio Stadium] also features yellow flowers on a blue background, which, according to legend, is due to the outcome of the dedication game against the University of Michigan in 1922[, which Michigan won 19–0]." - wikipedia
 
  

 

Team

OhioState

Michigan

National titles

7

11

Rose Bowl appearances

14

20

Big Ten titles

34

42

All-time program record

819–308–53

877–302–36

All-time win percentage

.717

.738

 
 

 

“Script Ohio” has been an Ohio State University tradition goingon 73 years.  Begun in 1936, “Script Ohio” includes a revolving block “O” at the beginning, the curved formation of the word “Ohio,” and the “dotting of the I” by the sousaphone player.  But where did the inspiration come from?  According to the OSU Marching Band’s history, Script Ohio, band director Eugene Weigel said “Searching for ideas, I remembered the rotating sign around the Times Square Building in New York City, during my student days at Columbus, and also the sky-writing advertisements at state fair time…” 
However, Weigel was also present in 1932 when the University of Michigan Marching Band took the field at Ohio Stadium.  According to the student newspaper, The Michigan Daily: "Probably the most effective single formation was the word “OHIO” spelled out in script diagonally across the field in the double-deck Ohio stadium to the accompaniment of the O.S.U. marching song, “Fight the Team.”  Other Michigan band formations were “MICH,” a block “O,” and a block “M.”

michigan script ohio  
The first formation of the word "Ohio" by the Michigan.
 
Ted Boehm, OSU marching band member in 1935 and 1936, and considered an “authority” on Script Ohio, wrote that indeed, Michigan had performed the first Ohio in script.  
 
So which marching band performed a script Ohio first? Michigan.
 
 

Timnotep

November 22nd, 2010 at 12:19 PM ^

So there was this first grade class... it was the a few days before The Game so the teacher asks how many of you are Ohio State fans, nearly everybody's hands shot up. Then she asked and how many are Michigan fans? One of the kids raised his hand, upon seeing this the teacher inquired why are you a Michigan fan? to which the boy replied, "because my mommy and daddy are". "Well" said the teacher "What if your mommy and daddy were morons?", without skipping a beat the little boy replied "then I'd be a buckeye fan"

Go Blue, kick the Sh** out of tUOS

squints02

November 22nd, 2010 at 12:41 PM ^

Hey all, I'm a huge Michigan fan and have come across a place to get 2 tickets to the ohio state game for far under face value. There are 2 tickets in Section 10C row 33. Go to iticketbid.com to at least check it out. You might be able to get them for free if you use the promo code "rivalryweek" it will give you 5 free bids. Go wolverines!