The Michigan Learning Curve

Guys, for some reason, recruiting is big news on this here board. Many have wondered about the recruiting ability of Rich Rodriguez. I have openly been both critical and praising of how he recruits. One thing I've noticed is Rich Rod has serious closing abilities--he's like Goose Gossage when it comes to late results. BTW--Goose always (and probably still does) sported a serious MgoPornStache--the kind that would always have those drips of saliva hanging off it that you couldn't stop staring at no matter how hard you tried. Anyway, we've all kind of been wondering about this season's seeming mad dash toward the finishing line of 25, 28, whatever. UM appears to have enough commits this year to fill one end zone section of The Big House--yet Rodriguez and his crew of Reckless Recrooters still plows forward with apparently no respect for scholarship limits and archaic Big Ten rules which, if the Big Ten DID have its way, would limit member schools to ten scholarships per year, with eight of the ten being reserved for the debate team. I simply have this to offer: Rodriguez is finally getting it WRT recruiting to a Big Time school like Michigan. Hey, let's face it: he's a former walk on. Played and coached by coming up through the school of hard knocks. It's like when you go to buy a new car. Yes, you drive by the Lexus dealership. Then the Nissan dealership. Then the Saturn dealership. Then the Fix Or Repair Daily dealership. Finally, you pull into the R U So Desperate That You'll Pay $23,000.00 For a 1982 Chevette Because You Haven't Made a Payment On Time Since 1958? Dealership--because that's where you feel so comfortable. I mean, they've got guys there who have been selling rustbuckets and over used puddle jumpers since 'ought six, and are the kinds of guys who smoke six packs of Lucky Strikes and drink a fifth of bourbon to get warmed up for breakfast. The kinds of guys who routinely celebrate Christmas by washing the warden's car and telling younger guys NOT to eat the candy bar or smoke the cigarettes they've found on their bunks. So you buy the 1973 Vega and agree to make the weekly payment of $489.50 (generously based on your salary of $123.49 per week)--and then the next thing you know you are driving past all the car lots with shiny new Mustangs and thinking, "Holy fuck! I should have bought that one for this payment!" The point being--sometimes you take what you think you can get--or deserve--because you grew up in the coal mines of West Virginia and have had to grovel for all you can get. But now, you find yourself in a different position--and instead of having to wait until ten minutes til two before you get enough nerve to ask the chick with the beard, the neckbrace, and the hook arm if she'd like to go home with you--you have to learn that if you wait just a lil bit longer, the chick with the leopard shirt, the spandex pants, and the two foot tall perm WILL take you home to HER place--and all you have to do is not barf when she opens the door and the smell generated by her 58 pet cats hits you like the husband of a gay biker you scored at the St Patrick's Day Gay Pride Parade. Fellas, I'm talking about a learning curve here. Rodriguez has had to take some lumps to learn that at Michigan it's a different ball game. You are now in with the Big Boyz and the recruits just want you to snuggle with them a bit, show them that Winged Helmet (as opposed to my friend Winged Helmut)--and soon you'll be rolling in peanut oil and five-star recruits.