MGoHaiku: Turtle Edition

Submitted by UMProud on November 9th, 2017 at 7:29 AM


Wolverines head East

No hero in a half shell

Turtle soup is served



November 9th, 2017 at 10:29 AM ^

Is a terrapin

Some kind of fancy turtle?

Ask the Grateful Dead


Woe to Maryland

they play their sixth string QB

the D Line will feast


Under Armour cash

makes their uni's look like barf

such attention whores


November 9th, 2017 at 2:08 PM ^

For those who are rusty, Haiku form goes like so...


  • Line 1: x syllables
    (x is the Maryland QB's place on the depth chart)
  • Line 2: y syllables
    (is the jersey number of one of Michigan's weapons of mass destruction, and also the number of points Michigan will earn for each defensive touchdown [and extra point])
  • Line 1: z syllables
    (is the number of overall losses Maryland has entering this game)


November 9th, 2017 at 2:32 PM ^

none of these are goddamned haikus. 5-7-5 is necessary BUT NOT SUFFICIENT for a haiku.  Haikus generally have (i) a reference to nature (ii) a 'stop', which is hard to describe but is sort of like a before and after, at the end of line 1 or 2, and (iii) a feeling of momentary peace / stoppage of time / something fundamental.

This is just off the top of my head, but something closer to real haiku would be:


Wolverine watches

The cold wind-brushed water - splash!

A terrapin dies.