Mgofan confessions, post-Sparty edition

Submitted by Bluebells and maize on October 10th, 2017 at 12:22 AM
Dear mgocommunity, After some reflection I must confess that the loss Saturday is probably my fault. I sat idly by and watched my fellow fans blame our players and coaches past and present over the last few days. In truth, however, the loss was likely the result of my actions as a fan. Snowflake of blame after snowflake of blame while I was too afraid to come forward. I am so sorry and will take my negs accordingly. You see, I have a ritual which I failed to follow. After every Michigan victory I drink scotch. I have a bottle designated only for Wolverine victories. My current bottle is a Glenfiddich 18 year that I actually bought in 2015 (18 years after the 97 championship season). My bottle has juuuust enough for one good celebration. A week ago I decided to get a jump on my next bottle, just so I wouldn't have to re-stock after our next win. I bought a bottle of (Ron Swanson approved) Lagavulen 16. I also bought a non-football bottle of Aberlour12 which I killed with my father during a recent visit. You see, I got undisciplined in my scotch consumption. No, I didn't drink my victory bottle, but I skirted the rules like my kids so often try to do. How can I expect our players to remain disciplined when I'm not willing to commit myself? I promise not to drink any more scotch until we win again. I only ask that others stop blaming players and coaches. Instead, direct your frustrations toward the real culprits; fans who breached etiquette. I have repented and confessed my transgressions, but I know I'm not the only fan who bears responsibility. Who else wore the wrong shirt, served the wrong tailgating dish, or otherwise broke protocol? Confess your sins in this thread so that there can be healing and our team can move onward to their rightful 11-1 regular season finish. Go Blue!



October 10th, 2017 at 12:45 AM ^

The problem is the Glenfiddich. You're wasting your money on that stuff. Seriously, it's about the least interesting single malt in the world. Buy some blended scotch if you want to drink shite.

Everyone Murders

October 10th, 2017 at 7:37 AM ^

The anti-blended bias is interesting.  There are plenty of good blends out there - Chivas Regal (esp. 25 year) probably being as tasty to me as any of the single malts listed here.  (My single malt preferences are Glenmorangie Signet if you're buying, and Laphroaig 18 if I'm buying.)

And you realize that most single malts are blends too, right?  They're just blends from the same distillery (i.e., they blend batches for consistency of the product). 


October 10th, 2017 at 12:46 AM ^

All my fan superstitions and rituals were brutally exposed as farcical indulgences in self-importance by the richrod and hoke eras


October 10th, 2017 at 7:13 AM ^

This is now the third coaching regime in a row that in its third season has shown abject incompetence on one side of the ball. The season thus far feels eerily similar to Hoke's third: an early big win over a ranked opponent (Notre Dame/Florida), followed by several way too close wins over questionable opponents with offensive deficiencies noted (the O line and play calling), followed by a probability defying loss to a division rival, and the sinking feeling that no, the issues will not be fully addressed this season.
Don't get us wrong. No one is saying Harbaugh will be as hapless as Hoke. But man those traffic helicopters are sending we straight back to Nam, man! Oh ______, Victor Charlie is coming to get us!


October 10th, 2017 at 1:11 AM ^

an Arizona State t-shirt I bought at the 1986 Fiesta Bowl on Michigan game day, with a michigan shirt or sweatshirt over the top.  We won 5 straight Big Ten titles with that shit.  Except for 1 maybe 3 or 4 years we've been a dumpster fire of inconsistency since I had to toss it out.


October 10th, 2017 at 1:21 AM ^

I'd go with Caol Ila as a post victory scotch--usually available in any bar with the game, with notes of salt (tears of the other teams fans), smoke (opposing teams fans burning couches) and iodine (opposing team prudently disinfecting their wounds).


October 10th, 2017 at 1:27 AM ^

It's actually my fault for a number of reasons but primarily because I broke the very first glass piece that I ever purchased.  It was from my freshman year, nineteen ninety something, and from the head shop off of State Street to the northwest of the diag.  I think it was called Stairway to Heaven.  The piece was maize and blue and increadibly sturdy, dropping it multiple times but never a fatal blow would it take.  Until two weekends ago, third quarter of the Purdue game.  Things were clicking on O finally so I thought I could take the foot off the gas and chill out, you know.  I go to the sink to bang out the kicked shit plugging the hole and it slips from my hand and breaks.  The broken pieces should have been put in a shrine at least for a period of morning; I foolishly threw them in the trash.  I mean we've been together for 18 years. Fuck, I've had that bowl longer than I've been having sex. But I can repent, I will repent, I must repent.

Cleanse me with your negs!!!!!!


October 10th, 2017 at 6:27 AM ^

It's my fault. I had to park in a different spot for my tailgate and it screwed up the whole day. Everything felt off tailgating in this different spot. Same thing happened for the 2015 osu game.


October 10th, 2017 at 6:37 AM ^

I’ve never seen MSU lose to Michigan in person. I stayed home last year for the first time in a while, but returned this year. I’m honestly beginning to believe that I am their good luck charm. I have almost never seen them lose live.


October 10th, 2017 at 7:12 AM ^

I too have a more, ritual/superstitious thing when watching Michigan play.

Nothing too spectacular I just sit in my lucky tv chair and do... repeated actions with a water bottle.

Though I haven't been really doing it at all during this season.

I would like to but also...

Everyone Murders

October 10th, 2017 at 7:26 AM ^

I thought my wife's "State" t-shirt in the spaghetti script looked pretty damned good on her at one point during the game.  That spaghetti script is the best logo they've got, and the shirt is cut nicely, heather gray with forest green script and on the neck and collar.  And my wife is a wonderful person, and I may have momentarily been thinking about that rather than the game during the excessively long half time.

I'm pretty sure that these moments of weakness cost us at least one INT.  I apologize for my lack of focus.

The Fugitive

October 10th, 2017 at 7:49 AM ^

2010 - Dantonio makes his triumphant return from a heart attack. Cullen Christian is burnt to a crisp on his first snap.

2015 - punt fiasco

2017 - monsoon and general dumbfuckery on offense.

I take responsibility for all of these things.


October 10th, 2017 at 7:48 AM ^

I mowed a block M in my yard for the first time against Purdue.  It was perfect just eyeballing it.   I tried it for MSU and screwed it up.  I had to mow it out.  I take the blame for the bad mojo.


October 10th, 2017 at 8:01 AM ^

always wear the same polo to work on game week Fridays. Lost a few pounds recently and thought it didn't look right so I switched to a block M tee and maize (omg Adidas!) pullover. I'm so ashamed.


October 10th, 2017 at 8:15 AM ^

I usually wear the Jordan "Harbaugh hat" with the skinny M (not flat bill because my 40 yr old self can't pull that look off). I opted for my other plain ol' Nike M hat. It had crossed my mind at the time that I was tempting fate but I ignored the superstition as just that. What a fool I have been!


October 10th, 2017 at 8:33 AM ^

Hilarious post, OP.

On-topic, Scotch nerds are special breed. "15 / 18 / 20 year" ... it's lost on me. After all these years it still tastes like rat poison to me. I think that's my problem, though. I have no doubt that the Scotch nerds are on to something. I just can't appreciate it.