Mattison says he will watch film on our defense. This will cause him to do what?

Submitted by iawolve on January 21st, 2011 at 1:55 PM

In a recent interview, Mattison mentioned he was going to watch a bunch of film to see how our guys play defense. When I thought about that comment, I realized that they should probably hide the sharp objects when this activity occurs. I sort of imagine some Raiders of the Lost Ark face melting happening as he observes the missed tackles, crazy alignments for down and distance, blown assignments, etc.


Since I am going with some old school face melting, what does the board think will happen?




January 22nd, 2011 at 9:03 AM ^

I could not possibly be more excited about the future of Michigan football.

I could. We could have RR's offense returning some upperclassmen for a change, returning defensive starters, and a new defensive staff... What's that? RR was fired? Oh... fuck.


January 21st, 2011 at 1:59 PM ^

Track down GERG. Bitchslap the hair right off his head. Take the hair and have a build-a-bear turn it in to a stuffed beaver. Behead the newly stuffed beaver. Leave the head in GERG's bed.


January 21st, 2011 at 1:59 PM ^

By watching what the players did last year, Mattison will have a better idea what he needs to change from what the guys were taught these past couple of years.

When you can see what they have been taught, it is easier to make the changes needed.


January 21st, 2011 at 1:59 PM ^

He will go talk to Demens and hug him, while saying "It's not your fault" a la Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, until Demens cries out all memories of GERG's teddy-bear-assault, thus, washing away all memories of 2010 and making him even better for 2011 and beyond.