Hello from the distant future: Maizen Jeffrey

Submitted by jaggs on

Coming in at a svelte 5lb 8oz, Maizen is currently on a Harbaugh recommended strictly whole milk diet in the hopes that he can get to a better playing weight. He understands that he must show continued improvement both on the field and in the community for this scholarship to be honoured. 

Strengths:

  • Focus - spends literally 1/4 of his day on the Harbaugh whole milk diet with great aplomb
  • Good hip flexion - while position is not known, the flexibility will allow a quick swivel for a DB or nice bend for an OL. 
  • Versatility - long athlete, could translate to many positions
  • Toughness - two older siblings are rougher than they should be, however he has not complained once.

Needs work:

  • Vision - Maizen currently does not open his eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. Coaches feel this is a positive as he can be taught proper eye discipline from a young age.
  • Size - working hard to get to a more credible playing weight. Tough to predict future position, though Harbaugh did call him a 'football player' and Don Brown called him a 'dude'.
  • Durability - currently held out of contact due to concerns about the development of bone structure

While some stargazers aren't thrilled with the early offer, it's clear Harbaugh has identified that he wants 'football players' and Maizen certainly fits the bill. It's expected that Maizen will taken on an ambassador role for his class and work to continue the championship tradition that Michigan offers. Go Blue!

JonnyHintz

June 7th, 2016 at 8:44 PM ^

+1 for the name alone. I'd +1 you for a congratulations as well, but since that is impossible, I had to give you the +1 for getting the wife to allow that awesome name.

WolvinLA2

June 7th, 2016 at 9:07 PM ^

Whole milk for a new born? Unless you mean whole human milk, in which case, OK. And I'll probably vetted bombed for this, but Maizen? Seriously? It's my biggest pet peeve when people give their kids names that aren't names.

MGoSoftball

June 7th, 2016 at 10:22 PM ^

China does the same thing.  They tell you what you can name your child because there are too many "Marys" this year.   They also tell you how many children to have.  This is what is best for society at large. 

I read in the Shanghai paper today where Drs and Parents are still murdering newborns based on the child's sex and other physical features.  This is technically illegal but it still happens on a daily basis.

So yes, I 100% agree that it should be illegal to name your child anything but Bill, Tom, George or John.

LSAClassOf2000

June 7th, 2016 at 10:22 PM ^

There are some misplaced names out there, to be sure, but I am not averse to giving kids uncommon or unique names - both of mine have relatively uncommon names. I have a really uncommon name - in the United States anyway (it isn't much more common in the United Kingdom either). It works just as well, just like any other name really. 

Congratulations to the OP though - parenthood truly is, as my father likes to say, the best job you're never prepared for. 

WolvinLA2

June 7th, 2016 at 10:33 PM ^

Same. Giving your kid a weird name (or a weird spelling on a non-weird name) won't make your kid unique. And to those replies above, I'm not suggesting people shouldn't be free to name their kids what they choose. I'm just saying they shouldn't exercise that freedom so...freely. Mostly because it's going to suck for that kid.

Mabel Pines

June 8th, 2016 at 8:03 AM ^

it would suck for the kid, too.  But then I had kids and they got old, and I see Navaeh's running around and T'erica and Zebulon and Nakota and they don't seem to mind it at all.  And I have a girlfriend, old like me, and her name is Tonda!  Turns out people just judge your name behind your back!  Yay!

A Fan In Fargo

June 7th, 2016 at 9:15 PM ^

Who would neg this post? There are some miserable sons a bitches around here. lmfao I like to think of myself as happier than a hog in shit. Jim says slop but he's in the public eye. That being said, congrats on the new born.