Hate Week: Personal Interactions With Sparty

Submitted by CRex on October 10th, 2011 at 8:34 PM

Any good Spartan interactions you want to share?  We're all cursed with having them as coworkers, neighbors, and sadly even family members.  So what do you have?

I'll go with a CSB:

I get back home from seeing Yuja Wang in the Hill Auditorium  (she's good, it's worth it) and find a Jeep Wrangler parked in my reserved spot.  A spot that has a cover on it, a numer and some signs in the lot saying "Covered Parking is Reserved".

As I exit my vehicle to check this out I notice the plate liner reading "Michigan State Alumni".  As I walk around the vehicle I find this Wrangler does not have its top on.  No, it's a brand new Jeep Wrangler that is wide open.  Heck even the cellphone charger is dangling out of the DC jack.  No one is around, wide open Jeep, brand new leather interior, Sparty plate.

All I can do is look up at the sky and go "Lord, why must you tempt me to commit felonies so?  Why?".  

Because I'm not Spartan material I merely call the good people at Brewer's towing.  Within 20 minutes the Jeep is gone.  

Well Sparty doesn't notice I had his car towed until Monday evening (it was towed Sunday at 7 pm).  I assume this is because he lacks any kind of job and the ability to realize that a bright yellow GTO is now parked where his Jeep was.  

When he does notice he comes storming out of his apartment to swear at my wife as she is in the process of getting into the car.  Big dude, swarthy, clearly needs to shave more frequently and the like.  Comes out screaming at a small Asian girl.  

At this point our pet malamute (imagine a husky that is supersized up to 110 pounds), who was previously very excited about his ride in the car, worms his way out of the back seat and jumps out the open the door.  I'm just leaving the apartment in time to see his guy freeze as our dog plants himself between my wife and the guy, lets our a very low growl and suddenly silence fills the parking lot.  Turns out he's not such a man when faced with muscle and fangs.

I get in the guy's face a bit for yelling at my wife like that.  We've lived at our current place for three years and know all the neighbors, so some of the other guys come out as well and get in the guy's face as well.  Sparty slinks back inside.

So in conculsion, why can't they stay on their side of the state where they belong.  Also I'm preparing myself for "Hmmmm someone keyed my car, I wonder who that could be....".



October 10th, 2011 at 8:44 PM ^

This doesn't quite fit with this thread, but whatever. People keep trying to downplay the MSU rivalry and say that we dont really hate them. I disagree, and here's fucking why:

1. Immature head coach. Dantonio is a grade A douche, we all know it, and I can't fathom why anyone would want to send their kid to play for him.

2. Classless. They recruit players who struggle academically, and their players are criminals. 

3. The school itself. What does MSU bring to the table? Its a goddamn farming school, and is hardly the 2nd best school in the state, if that. Nobody gives a shit about your teaching school.

4. They blow ass at football. Their football team has never maintained success, and is quickly being relegated to where they belong, far below UM.

5. Their fucking fans. Do I need to say anything here?

ND can be annoying, but they are a traditionally strong school with good academics. I have respect for ND. OSU is classless, but they are at least a worthy rival. MSU has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Fuck MSU.


October 10th, 2011 at 9:59 PM ^

whether you are from the state of Michigan or not. There aren't too many Sparty fans out of state and OOS people likely didn't have classmates/ family members go to state. OSU meanwhile is good and ND is a good school, so that's why OOS guys (like myself) think they are bigger rivals.


October 11th, 2011 at 1:01 AM ^

I 100% agree with this. 

My interactions with Sparty all have to do with interactions with my in-state friends' friends. I don't really know anyone directly that went to State, so I really don't have much of an opinion of them. I've hated Notre Dame since I was little because I am from Boston and gravitated towards Boston College. That hatred for Notre Dame grew once I came to Michigan. I hate Ohio State because I lived in Ohio for a couple years. Everyone around me loved Ohio State, and being an outsider, I naturally hated that. Those rivalries naturally are on a higher plane for me, just from a hatred stand point. 

I have a general dislike for and disinterest in State. 


October 11th, 2011 at 12:44 PM ^

During my 4 years at Michigan, the team we always struggled with was Notre Dame.  I HATED the Irish.  I HATED Lou Holtz.  I HATED Raghib Ismail.  Ohio State was up there, but I was lucky enough to matriculate during the first 4 years of the Cooper era, Michigan never lost to OSU while I was an undergrad.  Michigan State was just another annoying team that put more stock into beating us than we did into beating them...and as far as I was concerned, the only way they could beat us was by cheating (tackling Desmond in the end zone...fuck).

State fans are boorish, unimaginative cretins.  They are unworthy of the privilege of our out-and-out hatred.  They are Iowa.  They are Illinois.  They are a stepping stone to our goal of winning the conference.  Nothing more.


October 10th, 2011 at 10:18 PM ^

3. The school itself. What does MSU bring to the table? Its a goddamn farming school, and is hardly the 2nd best school in the state, if that. Nobody gives a shit about your teaching school. 4. They blow ass at football. Their football team has never maintained success, and is quickly being relegated to where they belong, far below UM.

I don't understand. Why would either of these be a reason to hate them? Do you want MSU to be a national power in football?  And why would I "hate" the fact that MSU is less prestigious academically?  Doesn't that speak well of us, that other Big Ten schools can't match our reputation?


October 11th, 2011 at 8:11 AM ^

While I can't stand sparty and hope we beat them in every sport every year I do have to address this crap about the university has no readeaming qualities what so ever. Sparties college of education has been ranked number one in the country for the last seventeen years.  Michigan out paces state in probably every area but this. But we do need to give Sparty there do in this one area. Or at least I do since my wife got her teaching degree there and is now working on her masters from there as well.

Deep Under Cover

October 10th, 2011 at 11:18 PM ^

You are right in that they are like mosquitos:

1.  They spread diseases without consent

2. They suck your blood and thus contain less than an ounce of your life juice, and that is enough to sustain them (even if it hardly affects you)

However, they are pests.  We spray for things like them.  They may have particularly bad years where the pesticides aren't enough, but we spray for them because we hate them and it keeps them at bay most years.


October 11th, 2011 at 2:03 AM ^

For me to hate MSU, I would first have to truly respect their program. No matter how they have done over the past three years, they have a long way to go before I can truly do that. I go so far as to hope that they do well, only so that we can crush their dreams. I'm not saying that I couldn't grow to hate them, but they just don't occupy that much space in my consciousness at this present time!


October 11th, 2011 at 2:53 PM ^

Not to be needlessly contrarion, but let's not point out that MSU athletes struggle academically and are criminals when prominent former players failed out (cough, Tate, cough) or were sent to jail (cough, Cissoko, cough).  MSU's a second-rate football program with a jerk coach and an entitled, bratty fanbase, and that should be enough.

James Burrill Angell

October 10th, 2011 at 8:47 PM ^

This is sort of a carry over from yesterdays thread. My kid's grade school teacher was a Sparty and a friends wife was helping out in class. She recorded the teacher teaching the class to say "Go Green". The next day I stopped in before class started and politely informed her that my wife and I do not teach our children to aspire to mediocrity and I would greatly appreciate it if she would refrain from doing the same.

Needless to say had a fairly poor relationship for the rest of the school year.


October 11th, 2011 at 8:17 AM ^

Wow your a ass! Did telling this teacher she aspired to mediocrity and was teaching children to aspire to mediocrity help them in school whatsoever? I am as big a fan of Michigan as anyone but as a teacher for ten years just have to say you are the kind of parent that teachers pray they never have.


October 10th, 2011 at 8:48 PM ^

Speaking of which how's the wife doing CRex? I still remember those awesome stories you posted about relatives and the like. Follow up piece soon? "In conclusion..."


October 11th, 2011 at 12:27 PM ^

Doing well thank you.  I was going to toss up a post over the summer for amusement value, but I never had time to write it before the No OT rule returned for the season.  So next offseason maybe.

The stupid federal government have her a bunch of money for "dissertation improvement" so now she can afford another whole round of research and rewriting before defending.  Fuck you very much NSF, I was looking forward to becoming a dual income household.  (I kid though, it was a very competitive grant and I'm proud she got it.  One of the first from her department at Michigan to win this award /bragging.)


October 10th, 2011 at 8:52 PM ^

CRex, I have a similar situation as you (a single reserved space that I need to tow people from if they park in it).  I've found that the best response when they find that their car is towed is to tell them that the landlord did it -- the landlord usually doesn't care, and then they won't key/slash/do anything to your car.


October 10th, 2011 at 9:06 PM ^

I once had guys at the adjacent house who had someone park there and was towed egg my car. Didn't make sense when they parked their fancy new SUV next to mine. And I wiped everything off of my car, and onto theirs.
<br>Also my claim to fame when I was in the apartment management spot waiting for a tow truck and Aaron Shea backed his truck and broadsided it. He felt bad.


October 10th, 2011 at 9:01 PM ^

That remind me why I really don't like these guys.
<br>Though not a bad weekend. Was Yuja wearing anything scandalous? (For the classical world, at least).
<br>I try to avoid Sparty at all costs. The walk back to the car in 2001 wasn't fun. But it didn't take that long. It just took the walk back to the dorms after they tripped Desmond to hate them. But on the more individual story side, I'm not sure which of the many games we've kicked their ass, but I was walking down the sidewalk on State when some friends from both schools were screwing around on the lawn with an MSU flag on a pole, and I said "shouldn't that be at half mass?", and some girl in green started swearing like a sailor with Aspergers, and I just say "typical Spartan co-ed", and everyone walking down the street starts laughing, and she just stands there mouth collecting flies, dumbfounded.


October 11th, 2011 at 12:37 PM ^

She's famous for dressing down so her first face involved a fairly revealing bright red dress.  Second half was more of a traditional black dress.  She's clearly not good in heels though and came close to stepping on the back of her dress and face planting once or twice.  She doesn't have that much to reveal though.

Best part was we kept clapping and she kept coming out and doing encores, four of them.  I was starting to think that unless we stopped clapping we were going to be there all night.


October 12th, 2011 at 11:07 AM ^

And I wasn't asking to be salacious...I couldn't make the show, and I know she created a stir for what she was wearing in LA a couple of months ago...


Again, Brittney Spears would be going "what, are you an Eskimo, grandma?", but for the classical world, it created a twitter.

swan flu

October 10th, 2011 at 9:03 PM ^

the biggest thing i got from your story is how much i fucking love dogs.  I have 2 of my own and the big guy (labrador) has defended the little girl (cockapoo...fiancees choice...lapdogs are cool) many times.


Perhaps the dogs he has defended her from were Sparty fans... Or at least their shitty owners were.


October 10th, 2011 at 9:11 PM ^

My daughter's gym teacher went to MSU. I actually really like the guy, he's great with the kids and a good gym teacher. But I have taught my daughter to talk a little trash when this weekend comes, wear her Michigan t-shirts, and just generally annoy him with her Michigan ways. Why pass up a good opportunity? She's 8, by the way, and I'm awfully proud of her.