Harbaugh-Manning Family Cage Match

Submitted by rschreiber91 on December 6th, 2017 at 10:07 AM
I was just listening to the Boomer Esiason radio show in the NY area, and they talked about who would win a family cage match between the Harbaughs and the Mannings. Boomer said that Bart Scott told him Jack would bite off Archie’s nose. All agreed that the Harbaughs would win hands down. Just thought the whole conversation was funny and wanted to share for those that didn’t/couldn’t hear it.

Comments

Everyone Murders

December 6th, 2017 at 10:17 AM ^

I think Jack takes Archie easily.  Jack is younger than his years, and Archie would be too busy watching over Peyton and Eli to notice the ass-kicking headed his way.

John surprisingly takes on Peyton* and after he pins Peyton punches Peyton in the taint, saying "don't EVER put that shit on anyone's face other than Phil Fulmer's or that Papa John asshole's face again!"**

Jim would end up dominating Eli too.  At first with a couple of slaps upside the head, but ultimately with Eli turtling and Harbaugh imposing a fourth-degree wet willie on Eli.

Make this happen.

*You'd think that Jim would pair up with Peyton, but John wins a coin toss and chooses Peyton - the douchiest of Mannings - to pummel.

**Since Fulmer and Schnatter would welcome it, it's not sexual assault. Instead, it's simply what they collectively call "alone time".

Stay.Classy.An…

December 6th, 2017 at 10:21 AM ^

argue with that logic, you lose your consecutive games started streak because your coach is an idiot. He most definitely should have punched him, if not for that, then for McAdoo's general appearance. Quit trying to be Belichek, you look obnoxious wearing an ill-fitting suit with a whole jar of pomade on your head.

Everyone Murders

December 6th, 2017 at 11:02 AM ^

I see it playing out Hancock style.  Jim walks up to Peyton and says in a calm voice "when they gave Charles Woodson the 1997 Heisman, I can understand you feeling some kind of way about that.  And we're gonna do this thing, but if any Manning so much as breathes on Jack I will put your head up both Eli's and Archie's ass - at the same time."  Eli pushes Jack out of his way.

And we know what happens next:

 

JetFuelForBreakfast

December 6th, 2017 at 10:48 AM ^

...a small amount (all of my life's possessions) that if the alleged Manning Tea Bagging Prodigy had pulled that with Joanie Harbaugh, it wouldn't have gone well for the Manning Clan, nor would there have been a need for litigation to ensure "justice"...and that's before her brothers found out...