Free Cooper Barton; the brave five-year-old Oklahoma wolverine

Submitted by michelin on August 23rd, 2012 at 3:25 PM

By now everyone has heard of the five-year-old who dared to wear a UM T-shirt to his Oklahoma kindergarten class.  He  has become a symbol of the the fight against mideaval Oklahoma laws that not only force five year olds to hide their Michigan logos but can also can turn kindergartners into criminals for:

1.      making ugly faces at a dog.

2.      taking an elephant into the downtown area

3.      biting another's hamburger.

4.      wearing shoes to bed  

5.      having the hind legs of farm animals in his boots

6.      molesting an automobile OR

7.      opening a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.


I kid you not.  These are real Oklahoma laws!


So, how can a kindergartner fight cops, who enforce such unjust laws?  Is there anything we can do to help poor Cooper Barton? 

I suggest a new UM jersey that says:

"Free Cooper Barton": the brave five-year-old freedom fighter from Oklahoma.


Please feel free to share your other ideas.





August 23rd, 2012 at 4:37 PM ^

I am thinking of using one of the following next time:


/Don't Take Life So Seriously. It Isn't Permanent

/Those who laugh last think slowest

/Every One Has The Right To Be Stupid But You're Abusing the Privilege

/If I got smart with you how would you know

/The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list

Mi Sooner

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:28 PM ^

It's for those who tend towards OState. In Stillwater where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

It's Oklahoma -- what do you expect? This is a state that was the last state to pass the 21st amendment -- in the 50's. They did not have decent alcohol laws until 1984 -- yes I helped with passing those.


August 23rd, 2012 at 5:35 PM ^

If nothing else, the comprehensive list of Oklahoma laws behind the link was amusing. I would imagine that the famous Blue Whale of Catoosa will be relieved to hear that whaling is illegal in the state of Oklahoma. The other interesting one - apparently, if you solicit a hooker, your name and photo must be on television, so I assume the local news has endless filler material here.