An Eleven Warriors Modest Proposal

Submitted by MGoShoe on June 7th, 2010 at 9:29 PM

Yes, the author makes a nod to Jonathan Swift.  Still...

I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection. I have been assured by a very knowing college football fan of my acquaintance, that a former football power well outfitted is a most a most attractive candidate for a second-tier conference trying to increase their stature in the FBS world. I propose, therefore, that the Big Ten should drop the University of Michigan from the ranks of conference teams and facilitate its entry to one of the lesser conferences for the good of all involved.

I have reckoned upon a medium that a team of such formerly high stature, if given an annual slate of conference foes such as that offered by someone like the Mountain West or the WAC, would prosper greatly in both the number and the margin of victories. At the same time, the conference that acquires this former power will prosper by including U of M in their ranks in both the athletic and academic realms. Meanwhile, the Big Ten prospers by adding higher quality programs that are not currenly engulfed in scandals and beset by numerous transfers.

This to me appears to be a win-win situation. So, 11W readers, what thinkest thou of my proposal?

So MGoBlogerati: what dost thou think of his proposal?

[Edit: I thought I didn't need to do this.  I guess I was wrong.  A Modest Proposal For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public]



June 7th, 2010 at 9:42 PM ^

This clearly a sarcastic joke.

No human being in their right mind would think it wise to vote out one of the most recognizeable and valuable brands in college sports, regardless of performance. One of the largest alumni bases in the country would not find that a wise decision and it would likely result in a tremendous hit to the economic gain of the conference as a whole.

Thus, I will chalk this up to another idiotic idea stemming from that school down south.

Double Nickel BG

June 7th, 2010 at 9:46 PM ^

stop there? We should go FCS and get pay back on Appy St year in and year out! I bet our offense that can't handle it in the B10, would own the FCS.



Its just a joke piece. Its the offseason.


June 7th, 2010 at 9:46 PM ^

I confused "modest" with "lucid" and "cogent" in the 11W proposal. It was possibly the former, but certainly not either of the latter adjectives.


June 7th, 2010 at 9:51 PM ^

I'm not exactly sure that some of you are familiar with the original work that's being parodied.  For those uninitiated in classical literature: it recommended eating babies.


June 7th, 2010 at 10:16 PM ^

A Modest Proposal is, after all, one of the most famous satires of all time. I was just so shocked that someone writing for an OSU sports blog would know it, I completely missed the reference.

Or maybe this is the proof to the theory that if you give enough monkeys a paint brush, they'll recreate the Sistene Chapel ceiling, (in other words, 11W got it by random chance).


June 7th, 2010 at 10:19 PM ^

One thing I can guarantee you: While a few people reading this thread may not have gotten the Swift reference, not a single person reading that post on 11 Warriors did!!


June 7th, 2010 at 10:28 PM ^

..."Selected Literary References for Engineers and Everyone Who Slept Through English Literature in High School" if anyone is interested. 

No?  Alrighty, then.


June 8th, 2010 at 12:17 AM ^

people here talking shit about OSU as an academic instituation when half of the posters couldn't recognize a super obvious parody of the most famous satire ever written... sigh.


June 8th, 2010 at 10:17 AM ^

What temporal anomaly allows these guys to produce a biting, well timed satire?

What ever happened to poop jokes, simple hate-mongering and misspelled state slogans?