Down In Front: Your Fan-ly Neighborhood Experience(s)

Submitted by twohooks on December 1st, 2010 at 9:20 PM

OK, as we sit amongst our laptops writing Warren Commission manuscripts or generally playing a rousing game of "What Is Dave Brandon Thinking." Many of you are season ticket holders for football and basketball and Im wondering what your sections neighborhood is like.  Opposing fans are naturally annoying just by the presence of their obnoxious attire but they show up to the game in a different costume every time. My section includes the following. I have the older "down in front" couple who uncomfortably threaten never to come back because their requests are never accepted (they always return). The "after the play suggestor" mainly shouting "bomb" and "blitz" repeatably. Then who can forget "drinky hold me back fighting guy." My favorite is personalized. The kid in front of me during Amani Toomer's 4 seasons shouted "its not a tumah!" every time his name was announced, needless to say I cried when he graduated. Dont get me wrong Im not hating I love all who wear maize and blue. Think of it like your neighbor who doesnt mow his/her lawn I dont hate them I just would like them to mow their lawn. So, whats it like in your neighborhood?



December 1st, 2010 at 9:37 PM ^

Upon closer examination, he has face paint stickers on his lower chin fat.  How is this guy not embarrassed in public like this?

To the OP, the last time I had season tickets was in the student section two years ago.  I had the lovely ladies of Sigma Kappa in the row in front of me so I had plenty of space in quarters 1, 2, and 4.  In the third quarter they mostly sat sleeping with head in lap to avoid puking, or eating popcorn and hotdogs.

I also had this guy that yelled SH SHAW (in the tone of a bird going ca caw!) whenever Mike Shaw got a carry.  It was hilarious the first time he did it, afterwards it made me want to roundhouse kick him in the face.


December 1st, 2010 at 9:51 PM ^

that's a helluva fan. Dedicated, loyal, and sensible enough to hold up a sign in honor of Rob Lytle, of Fremont, OH.

I hate the Bucks as much as the next guy, but I'd buy this guy a beer. 

Undefeated dre…

December 1st, 2010 at 9:31 PM ^

Stress passed its way to the stands, so we had...

1) Old down-in-front-guy (verbal) fight with young stand-all-game-guy, which led to ushers coming to remove young guy and the old guy immediately bursting into tears over the whole confrontation

2) Super die hard blaming Michigan's football woes on the Granholm/Obama administrations (realize that's political; I just hope folks can see it's a little loony)

3) State fans in many season-ticket holders' seats


December 1st, 2010 at 9:33 PM ^

My section neighbors provide endless entertainment.  We have the 60+ year old guy who tries to fight twenty somethings over stand/sit.  We have the obnoxious drunk who tries to get the crowd to do the wave.  We have the middle aged semi-drunk who thinks he is witty and comes up with stupid sayings (wait that's me).  Generally a good group.


December 1st, 2010 at 9:58 PM ^

I attended five home games this year, and sat in five different seating areas. My observations:

1. Michigan fans are beginning to look/sound more like Detroit Lions fans every game.

2. Bearded overweight men are always the most disgruntled.

3. In the future, I may only accept free tickets to the club areas. These people don't make me want to place a gun in my mouth.

During the Wisconsin game, I did keep playing a fun game with this annoying little kid, though. After every play, I'd come up with a new supposed penalty to do some unwarranted bitching about. Like clockwork, he would start bitching about the same thing right after I did. I'm pretty sure loud "know it all" kids are my least favorite type of Michigan fan. Especially because they will likely grow up to be bearded and overweight.


December 1st, 2010 at 9:45 PM ^

Other than old over-sized Panama Jack hat guy with binoculars that insists on watching the scoreboard away from the action and blocking most peoples view in the process I enjoy most of my neighbors.


December 1st, 2010 at 9:50 PM ^

and then the husband that has to explain everything.  For example, the clock stopping to move the chains after a first down run in the last 2 minutes.

This has only happened twice to me, and both times were before my season tickets.  But for the most part my section is younger so none of the, "Down in front" shit and most of the people get along with their neighbors so no fights yet.


December 1st, 2010 at 9:58 PM ^

  • During the State game, I was sitting peacefully in the student section when a girl behind me gives some guy trouble for being in "her seat". Now, to put this in context, it's near the end of the second quarter, and this guy has been there the entire time. These seats are'nt bad, but they aren't "lets fight" worth either: section 31 row. The guy behind me politely points out that he has been there the whole game, and moreover, THERE ARE EMPTY SEATS LITERALLY TWO SPOTS DOWN (technically in a better spot!). This girl doesn't back down however, and continues to yell at the guy and call him an A**hole.
  • Now, since I was somewhat buzzed AND pissed off because we were losing to State, I turn and start giving this girl a piece of my mind, telling her to sit down, shut up, and the enjoy the freaking game. The girls starts tossing the ad hominems my way, and now everyone around us is getting pissed at her and telling her to sit down, but she won't, so FINALLY the guy who has been there the whole game moves so that this  girl will shut up.
  • Bonus: Later in the game I catch the girl recounting the story to her friend, pointing at me and saying "and at one point he got racist too" (she was black). I never said anything about the girl personally, race related or otherwise. Whole situation was disgusting.


December 1st, 2010 at 10:16 PM ^

My neighbor to the right and his buddy always show up a little late and a little lubricated..and he is absolutely hilarious...always ribbing any opposing fans nearby, or other people of interest (not always PG rated, however).  We sit close to the field and the cheerleaders are right in front of us sometimes so you can imagine some of the commentary...and I have two ladies behind me who are mega-critical, but have become more sophisticated and knowledgable over the years...also have grown to appreciate them.  Generally, our section gets into the games, but a lot of standing up just as the ball goes into the air because of the not so great site lines depending where on the field the play is happening..


December 1st, 2010 at 10:56 PM ^

I am the one double fisting and with a cigar. They are ex-PSU football players. They told me that they no longer sell those masks, but they have like 80 something at the time. They said they usually go through two a year since they rip easily. Their shelf life isn't as long as JoePa's I guess. Guess who got the last laugh that year?


December 2nd, 2010 at 12:01 AM ^

I was in section 18 for the Iowa game. We had the proverbial down in front guy in front of me. The younger guy in front of him stood up on all of the big plays, as did the people in front of me. Then came the the down in front, I can't see. The young guy in front stated "If you want to sit down at the game, watch it from your living room", this prompted some ire from the d.i.f. guy, a little later, we were in the midst of a promising comeback, the guy in front said, "the whole stadium is standing, I just have to". The d.i.f.'s wife told her husband to shut up.


December 2nd, 2010 at 12:10 AM ^

I almost started this thread weeks ago cuz holy shit, I was mad at some people this year. We've got about 8-10 friends all with season tickets in different sections, so we can usually get tickets to pretty much any game we want, but always in different spots. We only made it to 2 this year, but our neighbors; well, wow.

For the Wisconsin game, we had the same argument going on next to us that we've had at just about 90% of all the games we've ever been to. Jackass A thinks jackass B is in his seat, but jackass A doesn't realize that he's looking at the right seat, but in the wrong row. PEOPLE: As you reach your row, look around. If your feet are standing on a 13, and your ass is sitting on a bench with a "13" on the end, you are in, you guessed it, row 13. Not exactly rocket science. F you all who can't figure this out. After this is all settled, now the defensive genius starts his rant, to the tune of about 120 decibels directly in my ear. PEOPLE: No matter how loud you scream, when Gerg is 60 yards away from you, and you are part of a crowd of 112,000 people, I PROMISE YOU he cannot hear your playcall suggestions, nor can he hear you call him a "fucking moron", "idiot" or "retard". And while I don't like the situation either, I don't need to hear about it from you for 3 hours straight. Finally I had to politely "shush" this guy, and eventually, (probably after he realized that I was 3 inches taller than him, even though I was a row below him) he relented and quietly kept his bitching to his friend for the rest of the game. 

That was nothing compared to the Illinois game. We were in our seats about  40 mins before kickoff, so we were the only ones in our row. Until the bitch (as I'll refer to her) arrived. Somewhere around late 50's, early 60's, she sashayed up in her not quite the right blue ski jacket, snow pants, wookiee boots, and about 9 pounds of jewelry, and plopped down literally thigh to thigh with my wife. There is NO ONE else on the bench yet. Eventually as others file in, her husband arrives. Then they commence "harumph, harumphing" about the fact that they think we're in their seats. As I said earlier, I KNOW how to find my seat, and F all y'all who can't figure this out. Anyway, they never said anything to us, other than the nastiest stinkeyed glances whenever my wife cracked open a pack of smarties, as if opening a pack of smarties equated to sparking up a blunt and blowing it in her face. This really pissed us off, considering my wife is a type 1 diabetic and had blood sugars hovering in the 30's all morning. F you if you can't handle my wife trying to keep from passing out in seizures. Anyway, this wasn't even the worst of it.

During the National Anthem, as I've understood it (and I think is pretty much common thought, and correct me if I'm wrong...), guys should remove their hats, but for women its not necessary. When the 2 very polite, respectful and respectable women in front of us didn't remove their hats, as they say in the ghetto, it was on. The bitch tapped the one on the shoulder, and when she turned, tapped the bill of her hat telling her to take it off. She did with an "Uh, ok you old bag..." type look on her face. Then when the bitch's husband tapped the other, understandably she couldn't feel it because she was wearing one of these big michelin man coats. Then the bitch hauled off and SMACKED the girl across the back of the head. And I mean REALLY smacked her; hard enough that she almost lost her footing from the force of it. Incredulous, she turned around and bitch flicked the bill of her hat with her finger. Impressively, the assaultee waited until the anthem was over, then turned, and in epic fashion, chewed the bitch's ass like she was 3 years old. I was never so appalled as I was by the bitch, but proud of and impressed by the assaultee.

Oh, and then I could tell you about the drunken Kahlua lady, and "WATCH THE FAKE!" guy, who was convinced that a fake was coming on every single F-ing kick or punt, even when Illinois still had the lead in the first half, and was sitting at 4th and Plymouth from their own 8 yard line, but this post is already way too long to detail.

Sorry so long, but it felt good. Ahhhhhh. Catharsis complete.


December 2nd, 2010 at 12:16 AM ^

I love this post. We had a variety of people.

The very very old couple who sat on the aisle so they could actually make it to the seats.

Then we had a dude, pretty dirty looking, in one of those wolverines hats that yelled the entire time. Good for him though.

MY favorite though, was this guy, MASSIVE. As big as 2 Jake Longs, not as strong or cool though. He took up at least 2 seats, and one guy always gave him shit for it. In defense, the man claimed that he came to the stadium and counted the seats in our row and we had 2 extra seats, that's why we had no room. Not because of him.

Then the student section expanded and we moved to the opposite side, but now I'm in the student section so it's all good.


December 2nd, 2010 at 12:44 AM ^

A lot of the "the team is ruining my bowl trip" crowd left...or died...whatever. Did lose a sweet elderly couple who used to sit behind me...the type that never got angrier than "dag gum it, you're better than that!!". She had a stroke, so they had to move up to an entrance row. But most around are long time, stable, don't stand the whole game or refuse to stand. In fact, my row seems to fill up last. My only problem is the two seats next to me, I believe it's owned by a law firm in Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo or somewhere on the west side, and 3/4 of the games some opposing fan client from a nearby school gets the tickets (ALWAYS ND, usually MSU, Purdue, you name it). So I'm stuck next to a mix bag of fans for the other team, and I don't even want to be in the same half of the Stadium with any of them.


December 2nd, 2010 at 2:00 PM ^

It's the aforementioned section 18 that other people have complained about. But really, it's not the section, but the couple of rows around you that matter I'm in the middle, 47). My main problem is the one timers- there are a lot of people who give away seats for one game, or mix who they bring.  When the guys to my left bring both sons, who are now teenagers, along with a friend, and their big dad, it's a tight fit (but hey, it's Michigan Stadium). If they bring wives, or give away the tickets, maybe not. Like I said, they seem to show up late a lot. Every row will be full, and we'll still have a little elbow room until into the 1st.  But for the most part, I can't complain. Sure, everyone gets the scalped ticket guys chewing and screaming for him to be fired. But they're not regulars. Most are younger middle aged type section, probably Brian's age, or a little older. I've seen some kids go from little to growing up. Maybe not the loudest, or the craziest, but at least friendly complainers. And like I said, we seem to have very little of the up/down war that occurs elsewhere.  When all the rows in front of you are standings, stand so you can see. If you're the only two people standing, and everyone in front of you is down, then you're being kinda a douche.  But for most of the good stuff they stand. And if it's ugly, maybe a little more sitting.


December 2nd, 2010 at 12:51 PM ^

Worst experience yet at the Wiscy game this year with a pair of StubHub tickets.  Great view, but the Walmart Wolverine next to me in cammo kept spitting his dip all over the ground in front of us as he drank Capt. Morgan out of a two liter of Mountain Dew (I'm impressed he got that in) and dropping f'bombs about us never putting "Braden Minor" in anymore and that we should have hired Urban Meyer.  He then pissed his pants sending a giant cascading puddle down into the rows of families in front of us and his girlfriend hustled him out before the event staff/cops came to clean up and take statements.

Go Blue Beau

December 2nd, 2010 at 1:27 PM ^

I had a guy at the Iowa game who kept yelling I wish we could of got that Denard Dorsey accepted. Someone finally told him his first name wasn't Denard and to have another one which provoked him to swing a punch that missed terribly and get tossed!


December 2nd, 2010 at 1:40 PM ^

Quick story about my experience at the Pitt/WVU game . . .

I got outstanding tickets, 5 rows behind the WVU bench.  Towards the end of the game, when it was clear that Pitt was out of it, the Pitt fans all started leaving and the WVU fans started moving closer to the field.  In other words, I was surrounded by WVU fans. 

The defensive "huddle" on the bench was right in front of me and I watched Casteel the entire game.  After the crowd thinned out and things got quieter, I stood up and yelled:  "Coach Casteel!  Come coach in Ann Arbor!" 

Holy sh-t.  You would have thought I yelled "fire" the way the crowd turned on me.  The best part was that at least 75% of the WVU fans had no idea what I was saying.  And the 25% that did were so angry that I was afraid I might not make it out of there alive.

Although, it wasn't nearly as scary as in 2008 when I started a one-man "Rich Rodriguez" chant after Pitt beat WVU again.  Whew.  WVU fans are scary!