Craig James rolls up 4% of the vote

Submitted by snowcrash on May 30th, 2012 at 12:00 PM 

Scroll down to the very bottom. He got almost enough votes to fill Texas Tech's stadium, and almost 1 percentage point of the vote for each hooker he killed! Looks like pretty soon they'll have to play "Hail to the Chief" when he walks into a room.



May 30th, 2012 at 12:05 PM ^

Didn't he allegedly kill 5 hookers?

I just goes to show you that America really IS the land of opportunity.  You can allegedly kill 5 hookers and still receive votes in an election for public office.  What a country!



May 30th, 2012 at 12:09 PM ^

9 precincts still haven't reported.


Craig James could tighten this race up like an alleged noose around an alleged hooker's neck!


May 30th, 2012 at 12:14 PM ^

50,197 people think CRAIG JAMES SHOULD BE A SENATOR. That may only be 4% of the Texas GOP primary voters, but that's still FIFTY THOUSAND PEOPLE. What the hell is wrong with those 50k people?!?!


May 30th, 2012 at 12:21 PM ^

15% of them meant to vote for Al Gore.

35% of them were still so shook up from Sunday's Mad Men that they didn't know what they were doing. 

20% of them didn't know who they were voting for because they think reading is for sissies and communists.

29.99% had been huffing paint all day.

0.01% were Beavis and Butthead. 

rob f

May 30th, 2012 at 5:12 PM ^

And as 1 of some 50,000+  supporters of Craig James, his vote would have accounted for  approximately 0.002% of the total pro-James vote.

Even more importantly, it would have kept the vote among alleged hooker-killers at 100% in support of their inspirational leader




May 30th, 2012 at 12:27 PM ^

James' voters explained their votes as follows:

  • 27% were just really anti-hooker
  • 21% thought they were voting for Rick James
  • 19% got confused by the voting thingy
  • 13% did it for the LULZ
  • 11% were too high to read the ballot
  • 7% did it to make sure he wouldn't return to TV
  • 2% thought he would be a good Senator

Clarence Beeks

May 30th, 2012 at 12:30 PM ^

It's almost as bad as Alvin Greene (seriously, look him up if you haven't heard of him or don't know what I'm referring to) winning the South Carolina democrat primary and then taking about 30% of the vote in the general election, despite being absolutely unqualified for the job. It's absolutely amazing to me how many people will vote for someone who isn't remotely qualified for the position, for whatever reason, just like Craig James. Perhaps a very good reminder of why Senators were not supposed to be popularly elected.

Gulo Gulo Luscus

May 30th, 2012 at 5:23 PM ^

... he was "seriously considering" a presidential campaign, although he was not sure for which party he would run. Greene justified his potential bid by saying "I’m the man. I’m the man. I’m the man. Greene’s the man. I’m the man. I’m the greatest person ever. I was born to be president. I’m the man, I’m the greatest individual ever.” A year later, Greene notified The Daily Callerthat he would not seek the presidency.


May 30th, 2012 at 12:27 PM ^

I can't wait to hear Craig James' spin on this.  My guess: "We got twice as many votes as we were projected to get, and I see that as a moral victory."

But it still won't offset the fact that Craig James allegedly killed five hookers while at SMU.

FYI, a Google search for "CJK5H" shows "About 99,200 results."  That's not bad, but it needs improvement.


May 30th, 2012 at 12:52 PM ^

was tempted to vote for him. Then I remembered that he allegedly KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU. Craig James.

I made a snafu and accidentally selected Spanish on the voting machine. It's a good thing names don't change on a ballot when the ballot is in a language you don't understand.



May 30th, 2012 at 12:54 PM ^

If 50,197 people do not remember the five, then clearly there is a need for improvement in the "Remember The Five" outreach programs available.



May 30th, 2012 at 12:55 PM ^

Ohio homers the Common Man and Torg had these fake Craig James campaign ads on their radio show a while back.  Pretty freakin hilarious.


May 30th, 2012 at 1:32 PM ^

That's what CJ allegedly claimed on the campaign trail - that he only allegedly killed 4 hookers and thus he was fit to serve his constituents should he be elected.  There is allegedly an unwritten rule in Texas politics that allegedly killing 4 hookers is accepted but allegedly killing 5 is inappropriate.  This may have allegedly been his undoing, his alleged inability to convince enough voters that he allegedly only killed 4 hookers and not allegedly 5 hookers.  A technical but allegedly important distinction.



May 30th, 2012 at 1:44 PM ^

greater support from a special interest group with whom he shares a common personnel management philosophy.  Unfortunately for James, members of  People Involved in Marketing People did not turn out in large numbers for the vote.  

James is considering a legal challenge to the vote because this important constituency is normally active at night when the polls are closed.