After experiencing two heartbreaking losses by my favorite teams (Michigan Football and Detroit Tigers), I've decided that sports are merely a tool by a sadistic overlord designed to torture me over long periods of time. As such, I've decided to spend the morning after the Tigers blew opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to win the division to talk about something completely unrelated to sports.
Scientists have discovered that Saturn has a hitherto undiscovered massive ring around the planet.
In doing so, one researcher provided perhaps the best science-related quote of all time:
"This new ring provided convincing evidence of that relationship."