Beautiful ND Schadenfreude is Beautiful

Submitted by hart20 on May 10th, 2012 at 8:42 PM

I was on ND's Rivals board and saw this piece of schadenfreude that was just too good not to share. Enjoy:


I want everyone's honest answer.

If I were to tell you the following would happen under Kelly before he was hired, how many of you would have actually wanted to hire him.

He would lose ten games through two seasons.

He would oversee multiple player arrests during his first two and half seasons which would range from DUI to drug possession to assaulting a police officer.

His first three recruiting classes would finish #14, #10, and #20.

Of the total allowable allotment of scholarship players to offer during his first three years of 75, he would sign only 63 players, with two of those players being specialists.

Of those 63 players, six would no longer with the team (including the best player he has signed)which would bring his player total to 57 players over three years or an average of only 19 per year. Six players below what the average allotment would be.

Of those 57 players, 31 players would be rated three stars or lower and only five players would finish ranked in the Rivals top100.

Also contained in those classes would be 11 defensive backs, with only two players rated a four star and none in the Rivals top100.



I'll post the rest of that post down below as a comment.

Click on the link below and read through the thread. There's a couple more lengthy posts from the same guy. Other ND fans on that board accuse him of not being a ND fan and he goes off on them. Pure gold. 




May 10th, 2012 at 11:37 PM ^

The mikey and BGI argument reminds me of something two high-profile posters who shall remain unnamed used to do here.  The difference is that I couldn't read the ones here because I had too much emotional investment, but I am enjoying every word of the ND fans exchanging barbs.  

This mikey dude is definitely quite pissed at all things Brian Kelly.  For a ND fan, though, he really skewered a lot of ND fans with this line:

"Should ND win on Saturdays, you proudly wear your ND t-shirt to Sunday afternoon brunch as if you accomplished something."


Sione's Flow

May 10th, 2012 at 11:39 PM ^

So if ND fires Kelly, would it be bad of me to hope they offered Urban, he accepted, and the fanbase of tsiO went into full on couch burning armageddon mode?    Because honestly the only person that I think could turn that program around is an epic pointing, 11 game winning, Maize and Blue coachin' man named Brady Hoke 


May 11th, 2012 at 1:24 AM ^

BGI User 756, one of my favorite schleps on this board.

Its funny that you call me out for not accepting feedback and or compiling facts or analysis.

I've never once seen you reply to one of my posts in an intelligent manner or in a way that advances the discussions of the board.

There is just a continuous train of sophomoric comebacks (spelling error corrections, really??? that's weak even for you), personal insults, and I don't doubt judging by your posts that your favorite word is "troll".

Instead of just constantly complaining about my posts, why don't you do something to back up your opinion of Kelly or substantiate your stance that Kelly's regime hasn't been a dumpster fire to date?

Is it perhaps that you have nothing to prove that Kelly isn't an epic fail?

Great recruiting on the line? Wonder when that will bear fruit? All I've seen is ND get dominated along the line of scrimmage against any elite team they played (that's why they've lost 10 games in two years).

The win against USC? Oh you mean the one where they were without their #1 overall pick quarterback and ND needed RoJo to drop a wide open pass to win? Not to mention USC was unranked that year. Yeah, awesome accomplishment!!!

The win against MSU? How far has Kelly lead ND down when we are suppose to celebrate a home win against MSU? There was a time when those were automatic.

Increased speed? Do tell? At what position may I inquire? I still saw USC running circles around ND's players last year. I still saw Denard going ape shit on their defense.

Ah yes, the great "speed myth". A totally safe, fantasy land bastion for all ND fans where each year they can warm themselves in the safety of their "increasing team speed" myth each offseason. Every year ND is going to be some much faster and every year I see little proof of it on the field. Truly comical.

Improved run game? Against Navy and Purdue? Yeah, congrats. Against elite teams like USC and FSU....not very pretty.

Improved defense? The defensive performances were worse against USC and Michigan in 2011 as compared to 2010 and one could argue were worse against Stanford as well. I guess Kelly should get kudos for actually looking like he has some semblance of how to defend the option this year which is a huge improvement over the 2010 Navy game.

By all means, continue to live in your ND fantasy land. Continue to go along with the crowd and support Kelly. That is, until the populace inevitably turns on him. Then join the crowd in turning on him and state something along the lines of, "I knew Kelly wouldn't work out all along.".

You see, there is nothing interesting or intriguing about your posts. You don't not bring any sort of tangible knowledge or insight to the board. You don't seem particularly bright when it comes to discussing or analyzing football.

I've seen a million posters like you in my day. Just like the million before you, you will also be wrong and I will relish the day that I hear you utter the famous line, "I knew Kelly was going to be a failure the whole time."

Continue to encourage mediocrity at ND. Continue to support coaches that go 8-5 every year.

You see ND football as merely a personal identity. "All my friends know me as the ND fan guy."

You like to buy your ND hoodie at the bookstore.

You have a "man cave" dedicated to ND athletics.

You likely wear a ND tie to work.

Should ND win on Saturdays, you proudly wear your ND t-shirt to Sunday afternoon brunch as if you accomplished something.

As long as there continues to be fans like you that support failed regimes, ND will continue to have failed regime after failed regime.

So continue to support crap football. Live in denial about the state of the current coach and program in spite of a huge mountain of overwhelming facts to the contrary. You know, just basically do what you did during the Davie, Willingham, and Weis regimes.

It doesn't seem like you are exhibiting much common "sesne" (gotcha ya!!!), but to each his own.

Hopefully you will be around all season under the same username to take your medicine like a man. Because I'm going to be calling out you and all the other supporters of mediocrity during the impending 7-5ish season that is about to unfold.

Like I said, if you have any facts or tidbits disproving Kelly's failed regime I would be interested in hearing them but we all know that won't happen will it?

Continue going on "owning me". LOL


May 11th, 2012 at 2:02 AM ^

The worst part about this whole post is that it leaves Kelly's biggest single issue, by far in my opinion, unspoken; yes, he has done terribly as coach at ND (I don't know why they'd hire a guy fewer than five years removed from Grand Valley State), but he is also responsible for the death of the student videotaping practice. For some reason another poster's comments were marked as flame bait, but there is no denying it. The head coach has the ultimate say in practice decisions like that and the kid ended up dying. Not sure how the poster forgot about such a horrific incident.

Urban Warfare

May 11th, 2012 at 2:40 AM ^

The Notre Dame game is the one day of the year I actually root for Michigan.  I hate those arrogant South Bend bastards.  Rudy is a lying, stock scamming sack of shit, Knute Rockne was the original Mark Dantonio, covering up his players' gambling and drinking, and the Gipper probably died of herpes. 


May 11th, 2012 at 4:35 AM ^

I guess you can say all of the things he posted are legit points. It is a pretty harse assesment. Considering their schedule there is not much room for optimism at ND. They usually recruit well so I don't know how they fail so bad year after year. No stability I guess. Does anyone believe that they will EVER be nationally relevant on a year to year basis again? 

Hugh Jass

May 11th, 2012 at 1:43 PM ^

Notre Lame - I think Kelly may be the best thing that ever happened to them.  Sure Ty Willingham lost lots of games too but he wasn't as entertaining.


May 11th, 2012 at 3:11 PM ^

When I was a wee lad I actually hated Notre Dame more than Ohio State.  I have since seen the error of my ways, but ND is still 1B on my List Of College Football Hatred.  I go to sleep at night whispering "Ohio.  Notre Dame.  Nebraska.  Tennessee.  Sparty.  Valar morghulis."

May the dumpster fire that is Notre Dame swell into an everlasting tire fire.  No, better yet one of those coal mine fires that burn for decades underground... unseen and unheeded.  May Brian Kelly's head always almost, but not quite, asplode.