Barwis Fun Fact

Submitted by BaltimoreWolverines on
Just thought people would enjoy knowing that upon my Orientation to Michigan and talking with Taylor Lewan, I was told that all of Barwis' teeth are fake from fights. That should only add to his legend.

pz

July 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 PM ^

Although I am surprised because the Barwis is indestructible, and his teeth could never by knocked out even if he were hit by another (which he never has been, nor will be). Therefore, this is a myth. Barwis' all-natural teeth are stronger than diamonds.

WildcatBlue

July 22nd, 2009 at 10:03 PM ^

1.) Barwis' opponents somehow knocked his teeth out, forcing Barwis to force his dentist into making falsies. Or: 2.) Barwis, resplendent in his perfect, untouched pearly whites, collected such a collection of his opponents' teeth that he chose to swap the lot of them, maybe in homage to that guy in Platoon who had a necklace of VC ears.

MichiganMan_24_

July 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 PM ^

That is a lie ... either you made it up or somebody is telling you made up stories ... Barwis did not lose his teeth in fights ... he lost them from chewing on the bones of his opponent AFTER the fight

A_Maize_Zing

July 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 PM ^

The truth of the matter is that during his time in West Virginia Barwis knocked out his own teeth as a show of solidarity with the locals. The legend is that if you could get your hands on one of these teeth you could plant it and grow Fedor Emelianenko.

Foote Fetish

July 22nd, 2009 at 10:50 PM ^

Mike Barwis has fake teeth. His former opponents, though, have fake jaws. Also, Mike Barwis teeth are prized among the people of Papua New Guinea for their medicinal properties.

Don

July 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 AM ^

millions of years of wind and water erosion, and it's not even 6,000 years old. Barwis was in the Arizona desert training for an upcoming bout, and after drinking a few hundred gallons of Gatorade he took a gigantic piss that lasted four hours. The force of his micturation did all the work.

Spread_Offense

July 23rd, 2009 at 9:14 AM ^

Not really related, but two years ago while I was at Michigans campus day I met Couch Beilein's son Andy and his wife Kathleen. Andy was attending the campus day but wasn't sure if he was going to enroll there yet or not. (eventually did) Both were really nice and my Dad and I talked to them about Beleins move to UofM.

michiganfanforlife

July 23rd, 2009 at 9:38 AM ^

that Barwis tried to pick a fight with his father when he was 3 years old. They both "wrastled" for hours, throwing each other through walls, and trashing their home in the process. His dad finally called it off when Barwis Jr ripped his arm off with his pinky toe. As punishment for leaving his father crippled, he was sent to southwestern China. There he trained under a master of kung-fu, Li Hyabusa. During this intensive training of the martial arts, Barwis was told that if he could bite a steel apple he would receive the highest honor. After years of training and biting, he was hella-tougher, and he had hella-fewer teeth. The remaining ones were strong enough to finally take a real bite from the Apple of Steelshanks. Victorious, Barwis decided his training was complete, and he should go back home. When he returned to the United States he was finally trained ninja who was badly in need of some dental work. To pay for it, he had to start training people at WVU, and whupping ass at UFC. And this brings him to today! P.S. - I know this is true, because my brother in law was sitting at a dinner table the other night with some other coaches (exchanging f-bombs) and they were telling his amazing story.

dieforM

July 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 AM ^

Some kind of abstraction, but there is no real him. Only an entity-- something illusory. And though he can hide his cold gaze... and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours... and maybe you can even sense your life styles are probably comparable, He simply is not there.