Why Meyer will Fail at Ohio

Submitted by Bobby Digital on November 25th, 2011 at 12:30 PM

My friends,

I come not to question Urban Meyer's credentials as a football coach. At any other university I think he'd take the team right back to the top. But not at Ohio, and here's why.

Meyer has been followed by professional and ethical controversies (33 players arrested at Florida, quitting-coming back-and-quitting again, rampant rumors of an affair with a 23 year-old grad student, suspending Brandon Spikes one half for an eye gouge, etc.). Do you think Ohio will stand for that? Not a chance.

If we know one thing about that university and its fans, it's that winning is nice, but it's meaningless if you don't win the right way. Jim Tressel won games, but remember how hard the fans came down on him after they learned Maurice Clarrett was given illegal benefits? Tressel was lucky to keep his job, and Ohio fans are still reluctant to talk about the 2002 championship, ashamed that they won by cheating.

Who can forget Gordon Gee's response when Tressel's latest scandal broke? When asked if Tressel could be fired, Gee famously responded, "It's definitely possible. Winning football games will always come second to integrity at Ohio State." A maxim that administrators and fans have lived by for years, and one that will not be welcoming to Meyer.

Ohio further solidified their commitment to winning the right way in their complete and total cooperation with the resulting NCAA investigation. "If we did anything wrong, we will suffer the consequences that are justly coming to us," Gee said, and fans agreed. At no point did they try to coverup transgressions or skirt their responsibilites. And while it's true they lead the NCAA in infractions, that just means they have a great compliance program, somehow.

Ohio fans have long been known as the most humble, classiest fans in sports and I think we can all agree the title is well-deserved. We've all heard stories of Michigan fans being greeted with a warm welcome in Columbus, Ohio fans offering their finest microbrews to their guests from the north. These fans are in no way dead-eyed, slack-jawed, mouth-breathing sub-morons, equally proud of their GEDs and Truck Nutz. But I don't have to tell you that.

Woody Hayes once punched a kid in the throat, but it's not like they continue to deify the guy.

In conclusion, Meyer's shady tactics would play well at a lot of schools over the country, but not Ohio, my friends... not Ohio. With an athletic department that stresses honesty, integrity, and accountability, and a fanbase who would rather lose every game than sell out their principles, Meyer will not last long.

Eh... Maybe he'll be fine.

Comments

arsenalb32

November 25th, 2011 at 12:48 PM ^

Gordon Gee is also the one who said, "Let me be very clear. I'm just hoping the coach doesn't dismiss me." Gee is an idiot.

"Ohio fans have long been known as the most humble, classiest fans in sports and I think we can all agree the title is well-deserved."

I really have nothing to say to this....

caliblue

November 26th, 2011 at 4:31 PM ^

 Absoloutely everybody at this blog knows what Gee said. I think Mary Sue would say the same thing. Wouldn't any President ? After all didn't an MSU coach get his President fired for not allowing him to be Atheletic director as well as Head Coach ? That was BD ( before Dantonio ), of course.  That would never happen now.

BondQuest

November 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM ^

... because you destroyed my Sarcasm Meter. Now the needle is permanently welded down from the force at which it slammed to the right.

It was a damn fine sarcasm meter. Now it is ruined.

LSAClassOf2000

November 25th, 2011 at 2:04 PM ^

"In conclusion, Meyer's shady tactics would play well at a lot of schools over the country, but not Ohio, my friends... not Ohio. With an athletic department that stresses honesty, integrity, and accountability, and a fanbase who would rather lose every game than sell out their principles, Meyer will not last long." - From The OP

This had me laughing hardest of all. Deadpan satire. Nice. 

(It was satire, right?)

AMazinBlue

November 25th, 2011 at 2:26 PM ^

Well played, sir.  Well played.

 

It's called SARCASM folks. 

sar·casm

[sahr-kaz-uhm] Show IPA

noun

1.

harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2.

a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.  

Tater

November 25th, 2011 at 3:00 PM ^

OSU stands for Obfuscating, Stonewalling, and Undermining NCAA investigations.  They only fire people whey they make convenient scapegoats to possibly lessen the likelihood of the NCAA giving them the punishment they richly deserve.  

Ohio's "committment to winning the right way"  reminds me of that of one of my childhood friends' parents, who said "do whatever you want, but don't get caught."  

Tater

November 25th, 2011 at 3:04 PM ^

As for why Meyer will fail, he may or may not.  If he is the same coach who won two National Championships at Florida, he will do great.  If he is the same guy who walked out on them twice, he might not.  

Meyer got a lot of alumni pressure to build his offense around a certain dual-legacy QB while at Florida, but alumni pressure and attempts at nepotism are part of the job description of any major college football coach.  I would imagine that the Columbus Cesspool is one of the most rigorous obstacle courses in the coaching profession.  

Can Meyer take it this time, or will his head implode like a grape again?  I guess we are about to find out.

Sione's Flow

November 26th, 2011 at 8:53 PM ^

I for one noticed the sarcasm oozing from this post.  And I for one also fully expect tsiO to become a pillar of academic and athletic integrity once St. Urban gets there.  They will become the example of how hooodlum schools like Northwestern and Michigan should behave.  I also fully expect the school in East Lansing to continue exemplifying sportmanship both on and off the football field. 

Meeeeshigan

November 30th, 2011 at 10:25 PM ^

Hilarious. You forgot to mention how Ohio, in sticking to its principles of integrity and righteousness, gave itself the harshest self-imposed penalties available at every juncture.